EIGHT

The next morning, Zach woke with a crick in his neck.

But his surroundings were warm.

He lifted his head and flexed his shoulders, rolling his neck to alleviate the stiffness. He glanced around, checking on everyone. Brielle was curled up against him, her head in his lap. Sevati and Drake were leaning against her. Jacob had fallen to the side, his glasses askew, curled up with knees bent to his chest and his arms folded beneath him. Everyone was still asleep.

Hikaru was gone.

Zach slipped out from beneath Brielle, letting her rest where he’d been sitting. She stirred, but didn’t wake. He stretched his arms in the air. It took a moment of awkward walking to get his flexibility back.

He looked around the apartment for Hikaru. She wasn’t in either bedroom nor the bathroom. He went to the front door and opened it; the stairway was empty as well. Zach closed the door behind himself. He walked down the stairs, careful to avoid the creaks in the wood.

Once at the bottom, he opened the door to the outside. The sun shone brightly, the warm, pleasant rays flooding over his skin. Despite the heat from the sunlight, the chill in the air offset it. Zach wished he had thought to bring a jacket.

Rubbing his hands over his arms, he walked around their apartment building, towards a shaded area where there was a secluded patch of grassy land. It was the perfect place for young children to play. Zach and his friends often used it to practice sparring; anyone who asked were told it was for karate class. A gentle breeze blew by, the last of the fall leaves rustling softly in its wake. It breathed with a crisp scent. Some leaves broke from their branches and fluttered to the ground.

As he came closer to the grassy area, he found Hikaru. She was standing outside the shade, moving with slow, precise steps – it was her Tai Chi routine, the one she practiced every morning for the past three years.

Her movements, which resembled a gentle dance, were somber.

“Mind if I join you?” asked Zach. Hikaru’s eyes glanced at him briefly, before she nodded; the elegant movements of her routine never wavered. Zach watched for a moment, before he joined in. He stood across from her, keeping his steps opposite to hers – she had taught him the routine a few years ago. She had always said that it could calm anyone down.

But, right now, she was anything but calm.

“Did you get up early?” asked Zach.

“Mmm.”

Her attempts to avoid eye contact were obvious.

“It wasn’t your fault,” said Zach, his voice soft. Her limbs stiffened, but she continued the routine.

“She would not have died if it weren’t for me,” said Hikaru, as she slowly stepped forward, her hand pushing outward. Every movement she made was within her control. As she spoke, her voice was calm; the deep ache in her heart could be heard.

“The bullets killed her,” whispered Zach. “The gun went off and she was in the way. It was an accident.”

It was my fault, not yours.

As she slowly stepped to the side, Hikaru’s eyes darkened. “Those bullets should’ve been for me,” she said, emotion burning her voice. “Now a little girl is without her mother.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” said Zach, stopping. His arms dropped to his sides, his fists clenching tightly. “It was my fault and you know it. My… My ability wasn’t w—”

“Stop!” shouted Hikaru. She broke the routine, throwing her hands into the air. “Don’t say it out loud! If you don’t say it, then it’s not true.” She looked at him, pleading desperation in her gaze. Her tone dropped. “You can’t say it. Please,” she whispered. “He was just immune. Some people can be immune to it, right?”

His heart broke.

“Yes,” said Zach, calm through the lie.

A bird chirped in the trees. Hikaru glanced away, looking up towards the treetops. She took a deep breath. The cool breeze brushed against Zach’s skin, carrying with it the fragrance of detergent from the local laundromat.

It’s only a matter of time. Once the truth was revealed, it was all over. Unit Twelve would be disbanded and assigned to new recruits.

What would happened to them?

He didn’t know. They would be separated – oh, yes, they would probably never see each other again, even when they reached adulthood. But Zach had no real knowledge of what happened to disbanded teams. Were they individually reassigned to another team? Perhaps they’d be thrown back into the system the government had created for children like them.

A darker part of his mind wondered if they would disappear altogether. Would the government ‘remove’ them? Somehow, that wasn’t as frightening as their fragile family being torn apart.

Zach would do anything to delay that future.

“There is a little girl who will grow up without her mother,” said Hikaru; her voice cracked once. “You’re not to blame. You have no control over that.” There was a long moment. She pulled her lips inside her mouth and wrapped her arms around her chest. “It should have been me,” she whispered.

Zach sucked in his breath. Those innocent words were not meant to be cruel – but, oh, they tore his heart. His chest twisted at such a thought.

“No,” whispered Zach, his voice strong. “It’s better that you live.”

Hikaru’s eyes narrowed. “Are you suggesting that her death is justified?” she snapped, her tone flinty. “That her life is of less worth than mine? I’m not a mother. She still had a great responsibility.”

“But you do, too.”

“I am nothing more than a hired soldier, a façade of a hero – if a hero at all,” said Hikaru, her expression growing hard. “I know my place and my position. I can be traded away or substituted with another at any time. But that woman can’t be substituted!” she cried, her hand gripping the fabric of her shirt. It trembled. “No mother can be traded.”

Orphans…

Families torn apart by the government.

They each knew the pain that little girl would go through. Rarely did they ever talk about their previous families. But they all knew that they were united in the same pain, bound together in a strange, yet powerful way. Zach looked into her eyes, seeing the pain of her heart plainly etched there. Her chest rose up and down in short bursts, as if she were trying to maintain the last of her control.

If Hikaru had been killed, this little family would’ve suffered a blow like no other. Zach didn’t know what he’d do without her. She was their rock, always their voice of reason. She was his rock, his best friend. Drake was an awesome buddy and, often, he went to the older boy for his thoughts and advice.

But Hikaru was his closest friend, the only one whom Zach felt safe enough to share some of his deepest thoughts and feelings. If he didn’t have her, he was sure he couldn’t handle the heavy burden he carried.

Though he was their leader, Zach was sure they could go on should something happen to him. Her strength was the glue that sealed them together. They could and would be strong without him.

But he hoped a time like that wouldn’t come.

“You’re more than a hired soldier,” said Zach softly. She looked away. He stepped closer, putting a hand onto her forearm. “You know that. It should’ve been me, but you saved my life. And I… I don’t want you to die,” he whispered. “I guess it’s selfish of me, but I want you to be alive, no matter what.”

Even if I had to choose…

Hikaru sagged, the tenseness in her body lessening. Her eyes clenched shut, sending a pair of tears down her cheeks. She tucked her arms against her chest, clasping her hands over her heart.

A sob broke through her lips.

Zach pulled her into his arms. She cried into his chest, her hands wrinkling the front of his shirt. She pressed her forehead there. His arms squeezed against her back, pulling her closer.

After a few moments, her hands released his shirt and curled around his waist. She was taller than him, barely an inch, but with her head dipped into his neck, it wasn’t noticeable.

“It’s okay,” whispered Zach. “It’s okay.”

Her hold on him tightened. “No, it’s not,” she cried.

“I know. You’re right. It’s not okay.”

There wasn’t anything more he could say to comfort her.

So, he held her.

He stood there, unaware of the time that passed. He ignored the cold that surrounded them. He ignored the rustling breeze that made it even chillier. He ignored the chirping birds. He ignored the sounds of distant cars.

His focus was on her.

Soon, her sobs softened to shuddering cries; then, she went silent. Her breathing deepened, each intake of air slow and deliberate. More minutes passed.

“Sorry.”

Zach’s hand slipped through thick strands of her black hair. It was soft and silky. His hand cradled the back of her head. “It’s not your fault,” he said. She shook her head. Her warm breath intensified against his skin, brushing it so lightly, it sent chills through his stomach. “Listen to me, Hikaru—” He emphasized his next words deliberately. “—You must live on. You’re going to have to let it go or else you’ll never be all right. You’ll always be haunted by this and we’ll never forget. But you can’t let it stop you from saving the next mother who needs us.”

There was a shuddering gasp and, for a moment, Zach thought she was going to start crying again. Her arms tightened around his waist; she nodded her head; her tears had fallen onto his shoulder, his skin still wet.

Zach didn’t mind it.

His face was surrounded by her hair, the light scent of her shampoo wafting over his senses. As he focused on this, a sensation fluttered in the pit of his stomach. The air didn’t seem so cold any more.

Hikaru pulled back. She slid her hands over her face and wiped away the tears. She sniffled, rubbing her fingers under her nose. Zach smiled at her disheveled appearance, his stomach flopping strangely again. Her clumped eyelashes brushed against her reddened cheeks; her eyes were puffy.

But she was smiling again, determination flaring once more.

“Thank you.”

Zach gave her a smile. “Are you all right now?” he asked.

She brightened and nodded. “I am now.” That gentle smile softened; her head tilted to the side, a deep sincerity within her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.

The heat in his face crawled its way to his ears.

“Hey!“

At the sound of Brielle’s voice, Zach and Hikaru turned around to see the rest of the gang. Each looked tired, but alert. Jacob was rubbing his cheeks. The other two, Sevati and Drake, looked hesitant, but they had knowing, almost mischievous smirks on their faces.

Why is Drake looking at me like that?

“I’m starved,” complained Brielle. She folded her arms and stared at them with a pointed expression. Hikaru let out a soft laugh. Zach joined her. They laughed even harder when they received perplexed looks. Then, Hikaru, her dark eyes lighting up in mischief, gave Zach a rough shove. It startled him and he lost his balance, landing on his backside. He stared up at her.

“What—”

“You’re it!” cried Hikaru, laughing almost to the point of hysteria. She darted away, leaving a dumbfounded Zach on the damp, cold grass. After a second, he cracked a smirk and leapt to his feet. One hefty shove later and he had passed ownership to an unsuspecting Drake.

And then it was on.

A mixture of playful, delighted laughter spread through the six friends like wildfire. It didn’t matter that it was early morning. It didn’t matter that something terrible had happened the night before. Everything was lost to the moment.

Food was forgotten.

An old memory was forgotten.

The only thing on the minds of the six teenagers was a simple game. They pushed themselves to their limits; an hour passed. The game stopped rather abruptly and the grassy yard supported six exhausted teens.

Yet, everything seemed a little better.

As Zach stared up at the blue sky, his chest heaving deeply as he breathed, the smile never faded from his mouth. The freshness of cut grass from the day before and the scent of fall filled his senses. Peace. The others were sprawled across the lawn in various positions all around him. He could hear their pants. But, somehow, he knew they were smiling.

“All right, guys,” said Zach, clapping his hands and sitting up. “I dunno about you, but I’m famished. Let’s get some breakfast.”

It was going to be a good day. They would have two of them, a reprieve from the cruel world. Zach would make sure their hearts were recharged with blissful happiness before they were over.

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SEVEN

The solemn air was oppressive. It didn’t dissipate in the car. If the ride to the bank had been depressing, the ride home was catatonic. Zach felt disconnected, dazed. His rampant thoughts dominated his mind.

No one spoke. After twenty minutes, they reached the apartment complex. Once parked and the van turned off, Zach sat back in his seat.

His heart ached, his soul numb.

He pushed the pain away, forcing the memory to disappear. He couldn’t afford to feel. He wasn’t trying to be callous. He mourned the death. The woman deserved it; the little girl deserved it. They needed to be remembered.

But that was an indulgence he couldn’t partake in. If the others saw him crying over the death, when he was supposed to be their foundation, then they would crumble – they would break down and cry, too. Zach couldn’t do that to his friends. They didn’t realize it, but they were counting on him to be strong.

Thus, no tears fell. Zach would no longer allow any haunting thoughts about the ‘what if’ – it was done; it was over. He had failed, but he would move forward.

His only focus: how to comfort the others?

Zach pulled off his mask. He twisted in his seat, looking towards his friends. Hikaru sat in the middle with Jacob, who was resting his head on her shoulder. Brielle and Sevati hadn’t changed seats; they looked out the window, their gazes refusing eye contact.

The van’s interior returned to its original state. They passed clothing around, returning each article to their rightful owner. They removed their masks, slipped shirts over their suit, and took off their gloves. No one would notice they all wore the same black pants.

Zach opened the door of the van and stepped outside, the others following. There was a chill in the air. The sunlight had darkened, now late afternoon. The sky blended with white clouds, forming a shadowy dusk of blue. There were no stars twinkling in the heavens.

The silence was brutal. Zach longed to hear the usually talkative voices, laughter ringing through the stairwell as they stomped up the stairs, much to their neighbors’ annoyance. Now, the footsteps were light, the voices silent. Zach unlocked their front door with his key and stepped inside.

“Is anyone hungry?” asked Hikaru, turning around when she was in the middle of the room. Drake closed the door behind himself. She smiled lightly; her jaw stiffened as she tried to maintain her composure. Her smile faltered when no one responded. “I can make something, anything you want. You all must be hungry. Mac and cheese?”

No one answered.

“There’s got to be something you want to eat,” said Hikaru, breathless. Her voice trembled and rose in pitch. She stepped closer to the kitchen. “We should eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” whispered Drake.

Sevati shook her head as well. Her lips thinned; she took a deep breath. Brielle stared at the wall, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

Zach sighed. He had to eat something or his emotions would run haywire, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He wanted to support Hikaru, but he didn’t want to force the others to eat either. The thought of food made him gag.

Hikaru glanced between them, becoming desperate. “Are you sure?” she whispered. There were more shakes of the head. Her chest heaved upward; she inhaled. “All right, how about a movie?” she asked, trying to sound cheerful. She twisted her hands. “We could make popcorn.”

Jacob pulled away from the group, stopping in front of her. She looked down at him, her expression broken with sorrow. Large tears welled inside Jacob’s eyes. He threw his arms around her waist and began to sob. Hikaru embraced him; she dipped her face into his curly black hair.

It was a ripple effect: Sevati rubbed her face, sniffling softly; Brielle looked away, tears sliding down her cheeks; Drake put a hand over his eyes and tilted his face towards the ceiling.

Hikaru looked to Zach, filled with deep pleading and longing, as if seeking for some kind of answer.

But he was lost as the rest of them.

He had promised he would be strong for them, but the building lump in his throat was becoming too painful. He swallowed, his jaw clenching against his teeth; he forced the lump back down.

You are not allowed to cry.

Be their strength, their support.

Zach put an arm around Brielle’s shoulders, drawing her against his side. She didn’t resist. She leaned against him, before she hid her face in his shoulder. Her body shuddered.

“I know,” whispered Zach.

She let out a suppressed sob. He held her tighter.

“I know.“

Drake dragged his hand over his face, sniffling loudly. Sevati had lost the battle against her tears, turning to him and burying her face into his chest. Drake wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

A number of minutes passed. No one moved from their spots, each drawing comfort from the other. When there was a lull in emotions, they broke away, divided by their genders, and went into their rooms.

As Zach entered one of the two bedrooms with the other boys, he ignored the scattered clothes adorning the floor and open drawers. The bunk bed to the left of the door was also covered with numerous assortments of clothes, library books, pencils, and sketchbooks. The top bunk, slightly less messy, had a handful of stuffed toys. There was no order whatsoever to the mess, yet somehow Drake always seemed to know exactly where the unimportant things were and never the important things.

Like the television remote or a textbook.

The girls, on the other hand, were far superior in the organization of their bedroom – well, not Brielle so much, but the other two girls didn’t allow her to be messy. Zach had tried to clean the boys’ room before, but the room always exploded into mess within the five minutes.

Ah, well.

Zach walked over the pile of clothes blocking the pathway. He avoided a handful of action figures and comic books, nearly slipping on another pile of clothes. He jabbed his toe with a plastic sword. He hissed underneath his breath, hopping a bit as he rubbed it. He sighed.

Occasional sniffles punctuated the silence. The boys stripped out of their suits, changing into comfortable clothes. As he dressed, Zach glanced at the painting that hung above his bed. The brushstrokes had painted a dawning landscape, the sky brilliant with rich colors of red, gold, and purple: the glow of a sunrise. His heart twisted, remembering who wasn’t in his life any more – just like that little girl.

The emotional control he had maintained for so long detonated, the shattered pieces crashing down on him like a tidal wave. Water choked his breath; it threatened to overwhelm him. Blood rushed through his ears, the roar drowning all sound. His hands shook. His eyes burned, watering with emotion.

Zach scrambled to the end table next to his twin bed. Inside the drawer were a few pieces of hard candy, cheap stuff from a dollar store. He quickly unwrapped one and jammed it into his mouth without the others’ notice.

Breaking point.

Zach stood there, his back to Drake and Jacob. He drew in a deep breath, slowly letting it out. He cleared his mind and stared at a toy on the floor, keeping his awareness on the slow rise and fall of his breathing.

The sea of his emotions calmed, the uncontrollable tide ebbing to still waters. His hands were still shaking somewhat, but that would subside soon. Blood sugar issues were the bane of his composure.

Zach looked out the window as he waited for the boys to finish. The night had fallen, the darkness like an indomitable barrier, blocking them from the world. Close by, the other apartment lights were on; silhouettes moved behind curtains.

He pulled their curtains shut.

Zach walked into the living room. Drake and Jacob followed after him. The girls were already there. Jacob went straight to Hikaru, wrapping his arms around her. He rested his cheek against her shoulder, his dry eyes filled with a never ending chasm of sorrow. Drake went to stand next to Brielle and Sevati.

No one wanted to be parted from the other.

“Why don’t we all sit for awhile?” asked Zach in a low whisper. “Before we go to bed.”

Together, they moved as one. Zach sat down in the middle of the couch, with Brielle on his right. Jacob sat down next to Zach on the left, with Hikaru sitting beside him. Finally, Sevati sat down by Brielle, with Drake on the end. There, each snuggled against the other as close as possible, the old couch overflowing its capacity. Jacob and Brielle both pulled their knees to their chests and surrounded their legs with their arms. Sevati pulled her legs underneath herself and leaned against Brielle, with Drake resting against her.

Zach put an arm around Brielle and the other around Jacob. He leaned his head against the back of the couch. No one said a word. Occasionally, the silence was broken by a sniffle. After a few minutes, something soft slipped into Zach’s hand. He clasped tightly onto it, glancing to the side to look at Hikaru.

Tears streamed down her face.

All six friends fell asleep huddled together on the couch that night.

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