Into the Depths – Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Two
Whispered Unity

June 2nd, 2009. Tuesday, 7:21 am.

Sweat beaded down Dick’s temples. He drew in a long, shaky breath. His hand, which rested against the wall, curled against the surface. He stared at his purpose and design, giving it a glare despite its inanimate nature.

He was dead determined to do this by himself. He did not need anyone’s help. He did not need anyone to hold his hand. And he certainly did not need anyone to oversee this!

Whose idiotic and brilliant idea was it to make the bathroom so far away?

Of course, for any normal person, the distance was perfectly acceptable. But Dick was everything but normal, it seemed, and it was frustrating. He hated this. He couldn’t understand it. Why was he so weak? He’d only been sick for less than twenty-four hours, according to the reports he gained from the various visitors to his room. And that had been over a week ago!

He knew his nightmares had something to do with it. But it shouldn’t have been this bad. He also knew that he’d been injected with two sedatives and one serum. But for crying out loud, the serum was supposed to strengthen him, not weaken him beyond measure!

Huh, that was the other puzzling thing to all this: the nightmares had stopped completely.

Dick drew in another deep breath, using the new air to steady himself. Focus on the task at hand. Bathroom. Had to make it there during this century. Kuroi was watching him from beside his feet, her blue eyes glittering. She didn’t move ahead of him, nor did she fall back. She took each step with him. Dick was thankful for her presence, glad that his father had brought her back from the Tower.

She was the only one in this blasted place that didn’t hover over him as if he were a delicate glass flower. She let him be, but there was the undeniable surety that she was watching over him. He needed that.

Dick took a step forward, his limbs aching in their protest. He leaned against the wall, putting his entire weight onto it. He’d have to rest for a minute. Just a few more steps and he could do what any normal, healthy person could do – go to the bathroom.

Who knew it would be so satisfying doing this by himself? It was utterly ridiculous, it was.

“Richard Jonathon Grayson!—” Dick’s shoulders bolted upward in a startled, guilty flinch, like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. “—What do you think you’re doing out of bed?!”

Dick groaned and thumped his head against the wall. He felt the soft body of the kitten rub against his ankle. There was a protesting mewl.

“Will, I’m just going to the bathroom. By myself.”

“You’ll do no such thing!” cried Wintergreen.

There was one good point to Kuroi’s presence, at the moment. The old man wasn’t going to get too close and force him back to bed – or worse, help him to the toilet. The kitten let out a low, gentle hiss of warning.

“Yes, yes, you mangy furball,” scolded Wintergreen. “But Richard is still ill and I don’t need your interference, you silly feline. Now, Richard, get your bodyguard to move away.” There was another hiss. When Dick didn’t move – not really in an act of defiance, but of exhaustion – there was an exasperated huff of air. Dick waited a moment, before he turned his head. The old man had vacated the room. Aha! Score one for the cat. Now, if he could only get to that door…

“Dick!”

Ah, dang it!

Dick had little time to regain any strength or footing, before his vision was completely overcome by his extremely tall father. Slade grabbed him by the shoulders and – Dick wasn’t about to admit it out loud – saved him from pitching forward to his knees. Dick let out a huff, a mixture of a relieved and annoyed sigh.

“What are you doing out of bed?” asked Slade, the worry overflowing in his tone. “You know not to get up on your own.”

“Dad,” began Dick decidedly; placing a hand on the man’s upper arm. He hoped he wasn’t too obvious by the way he was now fully relying on Slade’s strength. “I am just going to the bathroom.”

“You should’ve called for help.”

“Dad,” said Dick with a hissing growl in his throat. “I would like to do this by myself. I can go to the bathroom without any—”

As fate would have it, the vertigo caught up with Dick, ceasing all words in his throat. His knees gave out completely. His weight fell dead as he dropped his head forward, gasping as the wave of weakness washed over him like a tsunami. If Slade hadn’t been holding him by the shoulders, Dick would’ve fallen to the floor.

The man clicked his tongue in annoyance. He swooped Dick up into his arms – much to Dick’s unhappy, yet quiet protest. When Slade turned away from the bathroom, however, Dick voiced it louder.

“Dad, what does a guy have to do around here to pee in peace!?”

A second later, Dick was horrified with himself that he had actually said that out loud. His face burned. Of course, it didn’t help much, now that Slade was shaking with suppressed chuckles.

“Oh, yeah, real funny, Dad,” drawled Dick, wiggling inside the man’s arms in spite of himself. “Laugh at the kid with the bursting bladder here. You are so cruel.”

There was a loud mewl.

“All right, all right,” said Slade through his chuckles, turning back around. He strode to the bathroom, much to Dick’s relief. As much as he had wanted to make the journey on his own, it was now a pressing matter.

The relief was complete when Slade crossed the threshold of the bathroom door. The kitten trailed behind them, her tail lifted high. Dick was set onto the closed toilet seat. Dick was grudgingly thankful for the ride. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t have made it on his own – at least in time and that would’ve been extremely awkward.

He looked up at Slade expectantly when the man didn’t move.

“Well?” asked Dick, beautifully impertinent. “Are you gonna get out already?”

Slade’s eyebrow lifted. “And leave you to your mischief? I think not.”

“Dad! Get out!”

There was a snort. “All right, but call me when you’re done.”

Dick didn’t answer, but waited impatiently for the man to leave him alone finally. Once Slade left the bathroom, Dick stared at the open bathroom door.

“Dad, for crying out loud, close the freaking door!”

He heard the man chuckling at him. It was annoying. But he finally obtained his request and the bathroom door was blessedly closed from intruders. Dick breathed a sigh of relief. It took him a few moments to regain his strength, before he could stand up.

“Don’t watch me,” whispered Dick indignantly, when he noticed the bright eyes of the kitten staring at him. She didn’t move, as if to say that someone had to watch over him. He rolled his eyes. Obviously everyone in this place thought he needed an entourage for this.

Once Dick was done, he decided what would really hit the spot would be a long, warm bath. It was a struggle to get to the bathtub, but he was lucky it was close to the toilet. He got the water running, finally. He noticed Kuroi kept a wary distance once the water started.

He was just about to take off his shirt when Slade barged into the bathroom – well, the man merely opened the door, but it certainly had glorious timing.

“Dad!” protested Dick hotly. “Geez, what do I have to do to get a little privacy?! What is wrong with you?!”

Slade put his hands onto his hips and didn’t look pleased. “Don’t start with me, son. You’ve been incredibly weak for days now. What do you expect? I don’t trust you not to get hurt pushing yourself to the extremes. Least thing I need is for you to trip and crush your chin, or something. Of course, I’m going to be watchful over you. Now stop being so difficult.”

“I just want this to be over,” said Dick, pouting somewhat. “I can’t do anything for myself any more – I’m going crazy!”

“I know,” said Slade with a sigh. “But you’re going to have to give yourself time to recover.”

“I don’t even understand what happened,” protested Dick. “Why is it so hard to go to the bathroom or take a shower? I just want to be back to normal. It’s not fair.”

There was another sigh as Slade shook his head. “I know. Just let me help you for now. Come on.”

Dick leaned back slightly, trying very hard not to curled his arms around his chest like a girl. Oh, but it was difficult. His privacy was already being infringed on. The way Slade was stepping forward, Dick knew he wasn’t going to like the man’s next suggestion.

“I can do this by myself—”

“I think we’ve already established that you are not ready to be independent,” said Slade, his eyebrow raised. “Now stop fussing. It’s not like I haven’t seen you before.”

“Not stark naked!” cried Dick, reddening deeply. He hated this. He didn’t need this at all. He didn’t need help changing or getting into the bathtub. And, no, he would not slip; he was perfectly stable in his balance.

Okay, yeah, he’d probably slip, due to his weakness. But he really didn’t want to strip down in front of his father – it was downright embarrassing! This freaking weakness was bad enough without the rest of his dignity being stripped from him – literally.

“Oh, good grief, boy, it’s not like you have anything I haven’t seen before nor don’t have myself.”

Dick went beet red. He spluttered, unable to word his thoughts coherently, until he finally gasped out, “D–D–Dad!”

Well, after a bit of coaxing and a ton of protesting, Slade managed to convince Dick otherwise – provided that Slade closed his eye when assisting Dick into the bathtub. Although, Dick was positive he heard the man mutter under his breath about overly modest imps.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just because some countries preferred to bathe together, didn’t mean Dick had to – heck, no. It was one thing to go swimming with friends and a completely different story swimming in the buff in public. No, thank you.

And it had nothing to do with the fact that he was still a scrawny teenager – despite the lean muscle he had – with no chest hair to speak of; absolutely nothing to do with that, obviously. Of course not. Mhm.

The water was warm and that warmth seeped into his skin, much to his delight. He closed his eyes, sighing deeply. It eased the achiness he’d been feeling the past few days. It made him feel even more weak, though. Dick wanted nothing more than to lie back and go to sleep; the water was that perfect.

Something cold dropped into the center of his head. Dick’s eyes flittered open. The water’s surface was broken and Dick felt water being lightly splashed onto his head. Large hands began to massage his hair with gentleness.

“You don’t have to,” murmured Dick, closing his eyes as he was rocked by the motions. There was a noncommittal noise from the man, but nothing more. Dick found himself allowing it. He was too tired now, anyway. Trying to walk to the bathroom had taken a lot out of him, along with changing and getting into the tub. It was time for a nap. He’d argue about this later.

Yes… Much later…

Slade stayed silent as he washed the boy’s hair. The boy dosed through it all. Dick had no true idea of how ill he’d been. He shouldn’t be this tired. Slade wasn’t sure why the boy didn’t remember, but he had no recollection of his attacks. He didn’t remember screaming in agony. He didn’t remember thrashing like a possessed beast. He didn’t remember coughing up blood. Thus, it was easy for Dick to complain about wanting to be back at full health.

He didn’t realize just how close to Death’s door he’d been.

That was why all the other occupants were so watchful over the boy. Being a witness of one of those attacks was enough to scare any person out of their wits.

And it was obvious they had greatly affected Dick. It’d been a over a week now and there was still little recovery in his strength. It was slow, unnaturally slow. Slade also couldn’t help but wonder if this was a direct result of using the wrong serum.

Whatever it was, the only thing he could do for his son was to take care of him.

Dick was half asleep during his bath. He was exhausted, there was no doubt there. Once Slade was finished with the boy’s hair, he was careful to rinse the shampoo out. He soaped the boy’s torso a bit, but not overly so, knowing that the boy was sensitive to his boundaries. Once all soap and shampoo had been rinsed away, Dick was one very sleepy prune.

Slade pulled the boy out of the tub, careful to wrap a towel around him to avoid getting chilled. He toweled him off swiftly, before putting the boy in a bathrobe. Then, Dick was scooped into his arms. The boy murmured softly as Slade carried him back to bed.

A few moments later, Dick was settled inside his covers. His hair was still a little damp, but it would be all right. For a time, Slade sat at the boy’s bedside, just watching him; watching that chest rise and fall with every deep breath.

Even though Slade knew the enemy was gone from the Tower, he never mentioned it to the Titans. Though he would’ve claimed them to be the bane of his life, he didn’t evict them from his home. After what had happened, Slade wasn’t about to let them be alone in that tall, dark tower – if anything were to happen to them, Dick would be devastated.

No, Slade wasn’t worried about those brats.

Of course not.

Nonetheless, Slade didn’t want anyone setting foot into the Tower. He didn’t want any of the children near what had been there. He wouldn’t be able to sleep, that much he could admit. It was too dangerous; too evil.

For now, all they could hope for was Dick’s speedy recovery.

ooOOOOOoo

June 11th, 2009. Thursday, 7:00 pm.

“What’s going on?” asked Dick, as Slade unwrapped his comforter. The man didn’t say anything. Dick was then bundled up in a soft fleece throw and lifted into his father’s arms.

Without a doubt, it was delightfully soft and snuggly. Dick couldn’t help but relish in the warmth. The blanket was one he hadn’t ever seen before and it was incredibly soft. To be wrapped up in it and held securely in Slade’s arms – yeah, Dick was enjoying it. He leaned against Slade’s chest, sighing slightly.

“Will has planned a little something special for your friend, now that your recovery is moving along. Something about a belated party for the birthday girl.”

The man’s voice rumbled inside his chest, sending pleasant tremors into Dick’s ear. He smiled, glad about the party for Raven.

It was a little strange to be carried down a hallway that he had always been able to walk down on his own. The man who held him seemed to cross the distance far easier than he’d ever been able to – probably the tall legs. Kuroi managed to keep up with the man, though; her tail high and proud.

Another week had passed and still Dick was having little progress – really, it seemed like no progress to him, but he finally could make it to the bathroom without an escort. However, by the time he came back, he was exhausted again. He couldn’t get through a bath without dosing off. He was sleeping fifteen hours a day and could barely spend any time of his waking hours on his feet – or really just sitting up.

It was frustrating.

He wanted to go back to being normal. When would this end? Sure, it’d only been two weeks, but still, he was going insane. The slow progress felt as if it had come to a standstill. Just walking around shouldn’t be that hard. He wanted to be on his feet. He didn’t want to be tired any more. He wanted to enjoy his friends being over – which seemed to be permanent for the time being. He wanted to talk to Joey and Rose more often.

But he couldn’t do all that as easily as he wanted. Of course, he had visitors. Certain ones stayed longer than others. In fact, his least frequent visitor was Cyborg. He tried to ask what was wrong with the older teen, but no one would tell him anything. Any time he asked for the eldest Titan, weird and awkward glances would be exchanged, before the conversation was quickly diverted to a new topic – much to Dick’s annoyance.

That was the thing he hated the most about this. Everyone treated him like he was about to break. He was Robin, for crying out loud! He didn’t need people walking on eggshells around him. Tell it to him straight, please. So Cyborg was avoiding him. So what. Somebody tell him why, so he could fix it.

But it was obvious no one was going to speak up. Dick was going to have to find a way to corner Cyborg. But considering he was at the mercy of being carried everywhere like a little child, he had no idea when that was going to be.

Dick sighed to himself, somewhat irritably, but without much conviction. Well, there was one perk to being carried.

It was warm.

The kitchen was quiet and empty when they entered. Dick rarely was allowed out of his room, due to his weakness. He’d been able to eat a meal here and there with everyone, but he always fell asleep before he could finish. He missed the kitchen. A lot.

“Where is everyone?” asked Dick, noticing the emptiness.

“Family room.”

As Slade walked through the open door to the basement, Dick closed his eyes, feeling the height he was being carried at. He knew he was safe and Slade wouldn’t ever drop him, but for once in his life, the height was somewhat unsettling. Normally, it never bothered him. Perhaps, now it was because he wasn’t in control of it.

He was simply helpless now, yet safe in the arms of his father.

He loved the safeness that he felt, but the helpless feeling, he could do without. Nonetheless, there was a warm glow in his chest at the thought of the family room. It meant his friends would be there. It meant his family, his siblings, would be there.

He was part of a family again.

A few moments later, Slade had reached the bottom of the stairs and had crossed the expanse of the basement.

There was a medley of voices that flowed from the open door of the family room. Dick felt his face heat up over the fashion he was arriving, but he didn’t have much time to dwell on it.

“Dick!” A number of voices called his name at the same time. There was a delighted cry as Starfire flew in front of the two of them, her entire body floating in the air.

“Oh, Dick, it is glorious to see you out of bed.”

The color in Dick’s face intensified.

“Thanks, Star. It’s good to be out of it.”

Once Starfire backed away, Slade walked to the couch and set Dick near the end, with the arm of the couch supporting his back. Then, he was tucked in completely to the extreme. There was a gentle moment where Dick’s gaze connected with him during the man’s ministrations. Slade squeezed his leg, the light in that single eye tender and soft.

“Don’t move,” said Slade, patting his leg. Dick gave him a wry, mischievous grin.

“Yes, sir.”

There was a loud mewl and then Dick’s lap was filled with a black kitten. There was another mewl, before a green kitten leapt into his lap. Dick laughed and petted both kittens, each purring happily.

“Good to see you, too, Beast Boy.”

It appeared, however, that Kuroi was very possessive of her master – or servant, depending on who one asked. She pounced on the green kitten, before playfully chomping down on his ear. Beast Boy yelped. He tried to pull away, but Kuroi overpowered him. Soon, the hierarchy was established, which left Dick laughing so hard, his side hurt.

“Geez, your cat is crazy!” cried Beast Boy a second later, fully human, as he rubbed his ear. The boy rolled to Dick’s side, still rubbing his abused ear. Kuroi stared at him, her eyes unblinking.

“No, she’s a cat,” said Raven. She came to the couch and sat down next to Beast Boy, while giving Dick a thin, but visible smile. Then, it faded when she poked Beast Boy in the ribs. There was another yelp. “And she’s protective of her master. She was simply telling you who’s boss. You best listen to her or she won’t like you.”

Beast Boy grumbled under his breath, while Kuroi looked extremely pleased at herself – for a cat, that is.

Wintergreen chuckled. He came to the couch and placed a hand onto Dick’s shoulder. There was a gentle squeeze. “It’s good to see you out of that bedroom, Richard. But I want you to take it easy, all right?”

“Sure thing, Will,” said Dick, smiling. Then, he looked over at Raven and gave her a big, grinning smile. “Happy belated Birthday, Raven.”

“Thank you, Dick,” said Raven, the light in her eyes bright.

Soon, Starfire sat down at Dick’s free side, while Cyborg sat next to Raven. At the end of the five seat sofa, Joey was sitting about a foot from the arm, where Rose had planted herself next to him; her legs dangling over the arm with her upper body in his lap. Smiling at the sight, Dick gave them a shy wave. Rose didn’t notice, as she was solely focused on her older brother, chattering away about how he’d make a good pillow, while employing him to be just that. Joey smiled at Dick, giving him a wink.

Chatter and conversation filled the room around Dick. It was a bit more animated than it normally was when it resided in his bedroom. Dick was in the middle of it, his friends on both sides. He glanced up at Slade, who was leaning against the wall. He grinned at the man, which was returned in the man’s usual style – a smirk.

Except, there was something soft in the man’s eye.

The coffee table became covered with food, with Wintergreen taking a few trips. He refused any and all help, and he scolded Dick for suggesting that he give any assistance. Well, Dick tried. Unfortunately, Wintergreen had little say when Starfire flew above him and began to help bring things to the table. In the end, the old man had no choice but to give into her.

Dick tried to eat some of the food, but his stomach wasn’t able to hold much. But he enjoyed himself. The laughter, the voices, everything made him feel normal again. Multiple times, he tried to talk with Cyborg, but the older teen didn’t really pick up on it – or refused to.

“Cyborg, are you all right?” asked Dick finally. “You don’t look… happy.”

Of course, that question seemed to lower the sound in the room. Dick winced. Raven’s lips thinned as she raised an eyebrow at the oldest teen.

“Well, no. I’m not exactly happy,” said Cyborg with an irritated grumble. He narrowed his eyes at Slade and jabbed a finger toward the man. “He won’t let us out. He’s keeping us hostage here!”

Dick laughed weakly. So, that was it. Dick couldn’t stop the exhaling breath of relief. He’d been afraid all this time that it was something to do with him. Cyborg angry at Slade, that Dick could handle. Cyborg angry at Dick, well, that was another story. He hated the last time they had fought together. He didn’t want to go through that again.

“Grow up, Cyborg,” said Raven, nudging the older teen in the ribs. “The Tower isn’t safe, you know that.”

Cyborg let out a huff, folding his arms petulantly. It became apparent that he was trying to pick a fight. His eyebrow lifted slightly. “Terra is left all alone in there, too.”

Beast Boy’s eyes went wide, just as Starfire let out a gasp. However, before there were any complaints about it, Slade’s voice rang through the group. “No, she’s not,” he said, his tone firm. “I brought her back with the cat and worm.

“You did?” said Beast Boy, looking both surprised and relieved. Dick was sure he was the only one who caught Slade’s term for Silkie. “Where is she?”

“The dungeon,” deadpanned Slade airily.

“You put Terra in the dungeon!?” cried Dick, thoroughly aghast at the thought. “You can’t do that!”

“Well, I did. So, apparently, I can,” drawled Slade.

“But what if she wakes up by herself? She’ll be depressed and offended that she’s in a dungeon.”

“Oh, well.”

“Dad.”

The man let out an exasperated sigh. “Where else would I put someone who betrayed and attacked you?” he snapped. “Have some common sense!”

Well, the man had a point, one which no one argued further. Though Dick was appalled by her location, he knew it was probably best for now, at least until he convinced Slade otherwise, anyway. He wasn’t going to let her stay there forever. A controlled room, that was fine, but she needed to be somewhere nice.

The evening continued without any more drama. Dick noticed that Cyborg was beginning to tolerate Slade, but there was still an element of animosity between them. Slade tended to ignore the teen, unless Cyborg tried to bait him – which was happening often.

Of course, every time that happened, Slade would retort with a sarcastic remark, making Cyborg go red with either embarrassment or anger, while everyone else chuckled.

Through it all, Cyborg maintained his distance, making Dick wonder if maybe he had done something wrong. With a group this big, it was hard to connect with the older teen. Perhaps Cyborg was just having an off night… off two weeks, then.

Dick knew he wasn’t going to let this slide for much longer.

Overall, the belated party for Raven’s birthday was fun, even causing her to blush a few times when the attention landed on her. Food was gobbled up, cake and ice cream were inhaled, and games were played. A number of piñatas had met their demise this evening, along that Beast Boy lookalike – much to the young boy’s chagrin. In the end, Kuroi became busy with attacking the fallen pieces on the floor.

And Dick… Well, after being fed lots of cake and ice cream – but not much to his normal eating standards – he’d fallen asleep and was resting against Slade’s side on the couch. Just over two hours and the boy was out like a light. Thus, with Dick asleep, the volume in the room lowered. No one seemed to mind much.

Slade couldn’t help but be concerned about it still. It’d been over two weeks now, since the strange attacks had ceased. Where this constant weakness came from, he wasn’t sure. At the rate Dick was going, he wouldn’t return to normal within months, even years. Yes, he could walk to the bathroom, but the return trip had Dick shaking like a leaf and asleep within a half an hour. No strength had been gained since that milestone, but he didn’t mention this to the boy. Dick was already having difficulty being weak. He thought he was recovering, but if he knew…

Slade pushed all thoughts out of his mind. It was getting late now – for Dick anyway – and it was time to take him back to bed. Slade slipped his arms beneath the boy’s knees and back, lifting him in his arms. Giving a nod to the others, Slade walked to the door of the family room.

“We’ll come with you,” whispered Rose, tagging along behind Slade, with Joey behind her. Slade nodded silently, smiling lightly.

Minutes later, Dick was tucked into bed. The boy had turned onto his side in his sleep, his back facing them. Slade carded his fingers through Dick’s bangs. The boy stayed asleep, his breathing deep. Slade was glad the boy had fun after so much time cooped up in his room. He had smiled more during the past two hours than he’d had in two weeks. It was so nice to see that smile once more.

“You’re so gentle with him,” said Joey, as he sat down onto the edge of the bed. Slade took a seat in the desk chair, while Rose stood at the doorway, leaning against the wall.

“He’s… a little like you,” whispered Slade. “I learned – not quickly enough, though – that being harsh wasn’t good for him. It’s one of the things he’s… he’s taught me.”

Rose smiled kindly. Joey, however, didn’t smile. He looked at the sleeping frame, his lips thinning somewhat. His jaw clenched, before he turned his gaze to the floor.

“Joey, what’s wrong?” asked Slade, watching his son withdraw into himself. He’d seen Joey do this as a child and was surprised to see it again in the young man. Joey shook his head, but he let out a low sigh.

“It’s just hard,” whispered Joey. His hands trembled visibly. “I’m not trying to be difficult, it’s just… maybe it’s a little aggravating. Not really that harsh, but… I mean, it’s surprising to see you be so gentle with someone… Someone else. You weren’t like this with any of us.”

Slade could hear it; the underline hurt was hinted within the young man’s tone. He winced, knowing it was the truth. Dick had brought out a side in Slade that hadn’t existed before. Five years ago, being soft or gentle was unheard of for Slade.

“You’re a different person now,” continued Joey softly. “And I understand that. People change. I did. I had to, for Rose’s sake. Mom couldn’t handle it. She became bitter and resentful about everything. Rose was withdrawn and silent for the first few years – she would talk some to me, not a lot, though.”

Those green eyes filled with deep pain.

“But it was hard. I had to be strong by myself. I couldn’t really rely on Mom. If I failed, Rose would do something stupid or crazy. Probably both.”

“You’ve grown into an exceptional man,” said Slade, his voice low and quiet. “I couldn’t have…”

Slade trailed off, unsure of what to say. Any words felt thick and heavy in his mouth. There was no excuse for the past and there hadn’t gone a single day in his life where he hadn’t regretted it. In a way, he had given up on the past. He couldn’t have his first family. Somehow, having an apprentice had been the next best thing.

And then, along the way, it had all changed. All because of one special boy.

“I know that. But I had to grow into that man without your help. Then, to see you with Dick…” There was a soft sigh. “I don’t resent you or Dick for it. I know that he needs you. It’s written in his very soul, it’s so apparent. You’re the same. You need him just as much, if not more. He’s been so good for you.”

Slade wanted to object. He wanted to say that he sacrificed everything for Dick. It was the boy who needed him. Why, Slade was still trying to figure it out. But surely he didn’t need the boy. Love – oh, yes, he loved that child. He cared deeply for Dick, the special boy who had wormed his way into Slade’s heart.

But needing him in his life was completely different.

Wasn’t it?

“It still hurts,” whispered Joey. He looked down at his hands.“Maybe I’m a little jealous. ‘Why couldn’t it have been me who changed you?’ I can’t help but think that. ‘What does Dick have that I don’t? What could I have done to be a better son?’ I just—”

Slade stood up abruptly and completed the distance between them. He grabbed Joey by the shoulders, startling the young man from his speaking. Slade was frozen for a moment, his mind whirling with emotion. Words were locked in his throat. But the horror of what Joey was bearing on his shoulders was too much. Slade had to correct it. He couldn’t let his son think such things.

He squeezed Joey’s skin. Then, he knelt down in front of him. Joey sucked in his breath, his eyes going wide as he stared down at Slade.

“Dad, what—”

“Listen to me,” whispered Slade, his voice choking up. “I want you both to listen very carefully.” He glanced at Rose briefly, before he swallowed once and faced his now eldest living son. “Joey, it was never you. It was never Grant. It was never Rose. The problem has always lied with me. I was the mistake.” Slade’s voice cracked, the sound low and hoarse. Vulnerability entered Joey’s features and for a moment, he looked younger than his years. “I never realized what I had until I lost it. Then, it was too late. My mistakes weren’t something trivial as spending too much time at the office. My mistake cost me a son and a daughter. I spent years thinking I had killed my own children. My mistake cost you your beautiful voice. You always wanted to be a musician and I took that from you.”

Slade exhaled. He took a moment to gain control over the whirling emotions. His eye didn’t burn, however. These weeks were taking their toll on Slade. The utter fear of losing Dick, of losing another son, was almost too much for him to bear. He couldn’t even believe he had lived through it the first time. The mere thought that he could’ve lost Dick –even now, the fear was true – paralyzed every sense he bore in his soul.

Maybe Joey was right: Slade did need that boy.

“Even now, I keep making the same mistakes,” whispered Slade hoarsely. “I’m not sure if intent matters when my actions overshadow it, but now, everything I do is for my family. Joey, I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have you and Rose here. I know I should’ve been a better father and I know I can’t make up for lost time, but I’d like to start here and now with you – if you’ll let me.”

Slade glanced over at Rose. She watched him with tears in her eyes. “If you both will let me,” he added, his voice soft.

There were sniffles. Rose nodded and rushed to him. She fell at his side, throwing her arms around him. Her quiet sobs shook Slade’s chest. There were shuddering breaths from Joey, before he fell into the other available side of Slade’s chest. Thus, that was how Slade was kneeling on the floor, his arms filled with the two people he had wronged the most, but had obviously forgiven him.

Dick, you need to get well soon. We need your smiles, your laughter, your hugs – we need your light, since that was what led my broken family back together.

Slade held his two children. After a few minutes passed, both Rose and Joey pulled away from the hug. Eyes glistened from shed tears in those two faces. Slade reached out to both and wiped them away with his thumbs.

“I love you both very much,” whispered Slade.

It was a bittersweet moment, since those words had never been spoken to these two. Dick had certainly trained him well, though beware to anyone who said it out loud. Nonetheless, it was true. Slade could remember how difficult it’d been saying those words to Adeline. It wasn’t until Dick said it over and over, watching him with those expectant bright eyes, that Slade learned to speak them from the bottom of his heart. The old man was right, he was a man of action.

Sadly, his actions had proven otherwise.

He hoped to make up it now.

The effect of those words were apparent in their expressions. The bitter was in the shock; the sweet was in the tears of thankfulness.

“Me, too,” cried Rose softly. “I love you, too, Dad.”

Joey nodded, his neck clenching in the effort to stay strong. His blessed voice was still choked. “I love you, Dad.”

There was a soft laugh, one of pure contented joy. Slade squeezed their cheeks, tears piling above his fingers.

“Look at us, on the floor, my two children crying,” said Slade, smiling at them. “Will would wonder if something bad happened and be the first to blame me for it.”

Rose shook her head, her eyes filled with a bright light. “No, everything is perfect.”

After another hug at that, Slade helped the two to their feet, wincing slightly as his knees cracked. He knew it was impossible to grow old and achy, but sometimes his bones seemed to creak on him. He flexed his muscles, before pulling Joey and Rose into another hug.

“You two make a father proud,” said Slade. “Thank you for being there for Dick. I think he really enjoys having siblings.”

“I’m finally not the baby any more,” whispered Rose, grinning. “I get to be an older sister and bug him to death about it.”

Slade chuckled. He squeezed them once more, pulling away. “Good night, you two.”

“Are you going to stay long?” asked Joey, as the two of them stood at the door.

Slade glanced over at Dick, his sleeping frame rising and falling. He nodded. “For a bit.”

Joey smiled, putting an arm around Rose. She waved as Joey said, “Good night, Dad.”

The room fell silent once the two of them left. Slade sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. When he reached the short fur that grew on his chin, he tugged on it lightly. He walked to the desk chair and pulled it closer to the bed. He sat there, watching Dick breathe quietly in his sleep.

Slade frowned. At least, he had assumed the child been asleep. His eye narrowed. As he studied the boy’s frame, he saw the unmistakable sign of wakeful breathing. Why the little…

“My word,” drawled Slade lightly. “On the road to recovery and already getting into mischief. Eavesdropping much, Dick?”

Shoulders bunched up, before Dick rolled over to face him, a sheepish expression crossing his young features. He bit his lower lip, his bright eyes gazing at him. With that sheepish grin on his lips, his nose scrunched up.

“Are you mad?”

“No, I’m not mad,” whispered Slade, watching the light in those eyes. They were a window in the boy’s soul; so vibrant, so very much alive. “I’m concerned what you might think after hearing such things.”

The light changed. The boy’s eyes filled with guilt. Ah, Slade knew it. “I don’t want to take your time with them. They shouldn’t be jealous of me. I’m just… I’m just the adopted son—”

Dick’s words were cut off when Slade stood up abruptly. He knelt down in front of the bed, coming face to face with the boy lying down. Bright blue eyes widened. Slade’s hand slipped over Dick’s cheek, clasping him there. His silly sons…

“Listen to me,” whispered Slade, his voice echoing the same words he’d said to Joey. Those eyes were focused solely on Slade. “Without you, there would be no time with Joey and Rose. Without you, they would not be here. Without you, none of this would’ve happened. Without you, I would’ve stayed the same man. It’s always been you. You are the one who changed everything, changed me. You are my redemption. You are not responsible for my past sins. You are responsible for making my life far better than it ever could have been.”

Tears formed in Dick’s eyes. His hand covered them, his fingers digging inside to wipe away the tears. Slade squeezed the boy’s cheek, as he battled against his own rising emotions of fear and worry.

“I just want you to be well, and healthy, and happy, please,” whispered Slade, giving out a plea in his final word. The boy still hid beneath his hand, overcome with tears. Slade leaned forward and pressed his lips against the child’s brow, the deep, longing wish for Dick to be whole once again pouring from his heart.

The hand against the boy’s cheek tingled slightly.

When Slade pulled back, he was met with a pair of glistening eyes. He smiled at Dick. Before he could say anything, hands wrapped around his neck and pulled him down into the child’s neck. It was an awkward position – mainly for Slade’s back – but he humored the boy and patted him.

“I love you,” whispered Dick.

Blast it, the boy was going to choke him – in more ways than one. Somehow, Slade managed to maintain his demeanor. It was one thing to be overcome with emotion and a completely different story actually coming to tears. Slade could proudly say he avoided the latter. The former was another matter, however.

“Love you, too, son,” said Slade, patting the boy once more. “Now, time for you to rest, before you exhaust yourself any more.”

Dick finally let Slade go. In a brisk motion, Slade effectively ‘tucked’ the boy in, bringing the comforter to his chin. He’d deny such an action if it were ever brought up in conversation.

“Go to sleep,” said Slade, as Dick gave him a bright, yet tired smile. Slade patted the boy’s shoulder and stood up. He turned away, walking to the door, before he paused, glancing back at Dick.

“And, Dick?” began Slade, his throat going dry. “You know that through my actions, I destroyed my first family.” There was a slow nod. “Then, you should know, I will make any decision, any choice, to protect the one I have now – no matter what.”

Dick nodded again, frowning slightly at that. He obviously didn’t understand what Slade meant, not that he could be any clearer – it was too hard. But some of the guilt and pressure inside Slade’s heart lessened when the boy gave him a smile.

“I know. Good night, Dad.”

Slade took a deep breath as he left the boy’s room. No, that child was blissfully unaware, but Slade wasn’t sure how long that innocence would last.

ooOOOOOoo

June 12th, 2009. Friday, 7:02 am.

The next morning, Dick awoke with dread in his chest. He hated his morning routine of trying to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. It took him forever. But he was lucky. No one bothered him during his journey any more – well, Kuroi watched over him. But she was a cat, so it was fine. With a sigh, he began to push the covers away, waiting for the wave of protesting exhaustion to hit him.

It didn’t.

Dick slowly sat up, frowning heavily in confusion. With normal ease, he swung his legs over the bed. No tiredness struck. It was as it should be, like he felt every morning of his life.

He pressed his feet against the carpet of his room. He felt strength in his legs. Dick put a hand to the wall and stood up, finding that he didn’t need to hold the wall at all. With rising excitement, he walked back and forth near the bed – just in case he collapsed unexpectedly.

It appeared that he was at full health. After more than two weeks of struggling to even stay awake for more than a few hours at a time, he was suddenly fine – perfectly fine, strong, whatever there was to call it. He could stand on his two feet without fear of keeling over. It didn’t make any sense.

“Dad!” shouted Dick, the excitement of the moment overflowing the unsettled feeling in his chest. His voice peaked, coming to a near scream, “Dad!”

There was a thump from the room next door. A door slammed opened, before, a second later, Slade burst into the room.

“What’s wrong? Are you all right?” demanded Slade, sounding breathless. The man was dressed, but it appeared as if he had slept in his clothes.

“That’s my question!” cried Dick. He motioned to his standing body. “There’s nothing wrong here.”

Slade frowned, shaking his head. A confused, frustrated expression crossed his features. “What?”

“Dad, every day, I get up and try to go to the bathroom,” said Dick, his tone taking on a somewhat condescending nature. He cut it from his voice once the man’s expression darkened in warning. “Every day, it takes me over a half an hour to get there – and twenty of those minutes is me trying to get out of bed! Don’t you see? I’m fine now, like overnight!”

Slade stared at him, shock prevalent in his face. He put a hand over his mouth, dragging it downward somewhat. Then, fear pulsed through his visible eye. It wasn’t anything Dick had ever seen in the man’s face. Pure terror entered that unbending, steel grey blue eye – something that was never inside there.

Suddenly, the elation Dick had felt about being perfectly healthy deflated.

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