Into the Depths – Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One
Sacrifices

May 25th, 2009. Monday, 12:25 pm.

“I think we’ve been having far too much excitement these past twenty-four hours,” said Wintergreen, putting a hand to his forehead. Starfire nodded quietly, looking down at the sleeping face of Dick. Though he looked peaceful in his rest, there were lines on his face that showed the tenseness that was in his heart.

For all the strength she possessed, Starfire felt hopelessly helpless. By the way Slade had handled Dick, she knew that he felt the same. It was hard to watch someone you cared about in pain. She wanted to go along side with Slade and tear apart the enemy. She wanted to tear that enemy limb from limb. She knew the man was leaving to destroy the horrible one who was hurting Dick.

The anger that rose inside her heart was one of righteousness and one of vengeance.

“Do you girls need anything?” asked Wintergreen, after taking a deep breath. He placed the used syringe inside of a container and then placed it within the suitcase, which was closed afterward. There were silent shakes of the head and Wintergreen sighed. “Don’t worry. I’m sure Slade will keep a smart head.”

As Wintergreen walked to the bedroom door, there was a low mutter, “At least he better.”

The two girls were left behind after that. There was an awkward silence between them. Starfire remembered this girl from before, when she had been Sadie. But everything about her seemed different now. She felt less hostile and she even appeared concerned for Dick’s welfare.

Rose sat down on the edge of the bed and lifted her legs, so she could curl her arms around them. She had to push Dick closer to the wall, but he never stirred from the touch. Starfire watched this, wondering what she should say.

“I was thinking that I probably owe you an apology,” said Rose, looking at Starfire with grey blue eyes. Her white hair pooled over her shoulders. Then, her eyes took a strange light, one that Starfire didn’t understand. “But then, I remembered that your buddies busted my windows, so I guess we’re even.”

Starfire opened her mouth, ready to question the girl’s meaning, when she paused. There was a twinkle in her eyes, something Starfire had seen before within Dick’s eyes. As she remembered the memories, she realized that the girl was teasing her. She gave Rose a soft smile.

Before she knew it, the two of them were giggling and laughing quietly.

“All is forgotten, then,” said Starfire, after a few moments of delightful laughter. She hoped Dick could hear them and be comforted by their presence. She sat down at the top of the bed, near Dick’s head, with her legs still over the edge. “Perhaps it would be best if we have some reintroductions. I am Starfire.”

“Rose Wilson.” The girl held out her hand. Starfire remembered this motion. She was supposed to clasp the hand in return. She was hesitant as she reached toward the girl’s hand, but her nervousness faded away when Rose smiled at her. Together, their hands connected and shook once.

The conversation turned pleasant after that. Once Rose had found out that Starfire had been friends with Dick for nearly two years – discounting the period of absence – the girl demanded all kinds of stories be shared about her new brother.

Thus, Starfire found herself recounting as many stories as she could remember. Most of them were about ‘Robin’, but looking back, Starfire could see hints of the once hidden boy that was Dick. She forwent using his hero name.

She was talking about a different time, perhaps about a boy who used a mask, but there was no doubt in Starfire’s mind: she could see it.

Robin was Dick and Dick was still Robin.

And she loved that boy, and desperately prayed to X’hal that he would recover as quickly as possible.

ooOOOOOoo

May 25th, 2009. Monday, 4:58 pm.

There was peace within the haunt, if one were to call it that. It was more like a home now. The younger occupants didn’t fully understand the gravity of the current situation. But it was a good thing. They were young, after all. Slade being gone for nearly five hours was something none of them should dwell on.

Joey was keeping the two male teens occupied – Beast Boy had been following the young man that was pure reminiscence to another young boy not too long ago. A baby chick came to mind. Cyborg had stuck with the two for want of something to do.

The girls, on the other hand, were permanent caretakers in Dick’s room. Raven finally joined the other two girls and the three of them stayed at the bedside of Dick.

And all the while, Wintergreen sat at the kitchen table, watching for when that door would open and Slade would walk in. The old man was at the age where a caffeine high wasn’t enough to keep him going. You couldn’t fault him for not trying, though. He was almost ready to resort to some kind of sugar high – Slade did have a few frozen chocolate cakes in the freezer.

Really, a stiff drink sounded so much better. Too bad Christmas was a ways off or Wintergreen would’ve indulged himself.

But he didn’t. There was only one thing the old man could do at the moment. He refused to take his eyes off that door. Someone had to be the one to greet Slade as he walked through that door. Someone had to hand the man a cup of coffee and be a support.

Someone had to make sure that man was home safe.

And then, and only then, would Wintergreen allow himself to breathe.

Still, it was hard. It was hard not to feel anxious or worried. It was hard not to imagine all sorts of horrible things. Normally it hadn’t been this bad. Sure, Wintergreen worried when Slade had gone out on contracts. He always stayed up for Slade. Always.

It was silly. Wintergreen knew it. Slade was immortal, of course. The man would come home, there was no doubt. There were very few times Slade ever came back home looking a bit worse for wear. His wounds were always healed, but he’d just have that harried look about him.

It would’ve been easy just to view this like any normal contract.

Yes, how easy it could’ve been… If it weren’t for that special boy who was currently ill. Slade needed to come home. This wasn’t the same any more. That child needed Slade. Joey and Rose needed their father after so many years of his absence. Slade had better get his butt back home in one piece or Wintergreen was going to go on a laundry rampage – starting with Slade’s undergarments!

Wintergreen snorted to himself, easing his mind only briefly at the image of Slade walking awkwardly down the hallway. Oh, yes, if that stubborn, foolish man didn’t come back soon, this old man was going to go on a rampage and Heaven help the poor schnook that was on the receiving end of it.

Such plots were whirling inside Wintergreen’s mind as he sipped his cup of coffee – he’d lost count of how many he’d had. While it distracted him for the time being, it did nothing to alleviate the worry.

And like any good friend, he endured it.

It was only a half an hour later when the kitchen door blessedly opened. The relief was absolute when Wintergreen watched Slade enter the kitchen.

The relief was brief, however.

Slade wouldn’t look him in the eyes. Wintergreen swept his gaze over the man. Well, nothing looked off. Slade was in one piece. But instantly, Wintergreen knew something wasn’t right. What, he wasn’t sure. There were very few times that Slade had ever been pale. Right now, Slade was white as a ghost. It was unnerving.

Wintergreen stood from his seat, ready to get that cup of coffee, and opened his mouth to speak, when Slade’s voice rose first.

“Here.” Slade held out a small box. “You’ll need this.”

Wintergreen accepted it with a raised eyebrow. “What is this, exactly? And no greetings, Slade? You’ve been gone for over five hours!”

“Well, do you have any allergy meds here?” asked Slade, pulling back away from the old man. He kept his distance as he gave Wintergreen a raised eyebrow of his own. The bag in his arms wriggled on its own accord.

“No, but… Oh, for heaven’s sake, Slade.” The old man looked exasperated, but Slade wasn’t ready to address anything else. “Why do you ask?”

“I brought the cat back.”

The old man raised an eyebrow. There was an effort to look dismayed on his face, but his lips were showing the signs of amusement. Those hazel green eyes twinkled.

“Oh, dear.”

“Try not to sneeze to death,” said Slade. He knew the statement was funny, to say the least, but his mood wasn’t going to allow it. He didn’t say anything more as he turned away and began to walk down the hallway.

“Excuse me,” drawled Wintergreen, in one of those more dangerous tones that the old man rarely took on. “Just where do you think you’re going?”

“I’ll be back. Checking on Dick,” said Slade, not slowing down at all. There was an audible huff from the kitchen, but there were no more protests. Slade was thankful. He couldn’t handle it. Right now, he just needed to make sure Dick was all right. Once he confirmed that, Slade would relax.

Only just a bit.

He pushed the ajar bedroom door open. The sight that met him made Slade smile slightly.

Rose was sprawled over the bottom of the bed, fast asleep. It was a wonder she wasn’t crushing Dick’s legs. Starfire had fallen asleep at the top of the bed, her upper body leaning against the edge there. She was sitting on the desk chair. Raven was also in the room. She was meditating with her legs folded, her body floating in the air.

Raven’s eyes opened as Slade entered the room. He nodded once to her and she acknowledged him, only to close her eyes with a soft expression on her face.

Slade stepped to the bedside. Dick was fast asleep, his countenance peaceful. He knew it was partly because of the sedative that he’d given the boy, but that would’ve worn off by now. No, this meant that the worst was over. Dick would be weak for a time, but he would recover.

Slade had made sure of that, after all.

The bag at his waist became more insistent on its own. With a sigh, Slade unzipped the bag. He was met with a pair of blue eyes, which were gazing up at him reproachfully. Slade pulled the kitten out of the bag. She barely looked at him before she leapt from his arm. She landed effortlessly onto the bed and made her way to the head. There she curled up into the crook of Dick’s neck. She watched Slade with those unwavering, intelligent eyes.

“Yes, yes,” whispered Slade, still feeling foolish, but knowing that the kitten could understand him to a degree. “You’re with your little master now.”

Slade could’ve sworn the look she gave him was borderline incredulous. It was obvious by the way she had curled up against Dick: she was the master, not the other way around.

Slade held back the amused chuckle as he began to pull out the other occupant of the bag, who just happened to be gurgling with a low whine. As he pulled out the squishy creature, Slade stopped. He was a little startled that two monochromatic eyes were looking up at him.

“Here,” said Slade, catching himself. He handed the live thing to Starfire, who accepted the creature with glowing, delighted eyes.

“Oh, Silkie!” whispered Starfire, snuggling against the creature. Slade wondered if the girl lacked intelligence or she simply lacked common sense – probably both, now that Slade thought about it. The girl was licking the worm with an impressively long inhuman tongue.

Oh, yes. It was a gag worthy moment.

Luckily, Slade was gloriously spared of causing a scene in his son’s room. Starfire stopped her catlike, yet alienlike bathing of the creature and gave Slade an appreciative smile. She mouthed, “Thank you.” at him. He nodded once, giving Dick one final glance, before leaving the room.

Slade shut the door behind himself. It was then that everything crashed down on his shoulders. He leaned against the door, slowly drawing a hand over his face. He rubbed the fur on his chin. There was a heavy weight on his heart, one he had never experienced before. There was no comfort, he knew that much. Not even Dick’s smile could change it – not that it couldn’t help.

But this was far too horrible.

Slade didn’t realize when his feet began to walk down the hallway. His head was tilted downward, his mind clouded with too many burdensome thoughts. There was only one way to describe his feelings: it felt like his soul had been sucked out. Of course, this was ridiculous, as he very much was retaining his soul. Nonetheless, it felt like that; like all light and happiness had been stolen away.

And Slade wasn’t sure how to get it back.

“Slade, are you all right?” asked Wintergreen. The sound of the old man’s voice made Slade look up. He was a little surprised to see himself standing at the entrance of the kitchen. Wintergreen stood up from the table, the alarm beginning to fill his aged features. “You look extremely pale.”

The old man came to Slade. The worry shone in those hazel green eyes. There were wrinkles surrounding those old orbs. There were wrinkles creasing that aged brow. Something ached inside Slade’s heart at the sight.

Slade had known this man for over thirty years now. During the first few years, they had been in the army together. Wintergreen had been an exceptionally handsome middle aged man when they had met, with not a single strand of grey hair. Then, the man had stuck around during Slade’s family years, becoming part of the family himself; acting as a wise old uncle to the children. Finally, Wintergreen had stayed during the period of solitary, the aftermath of his decimated family.

Not once had this man left Slade’s side. It was the ultimate sign of true loyalty and friendship. Why he stayed at his side, Slade couldn’t understand. While the age had frozen in time for Slade, he had watched those wrinkles form, watched that fiery red hair fade to pepper grey, watched a fit man become a little creakier. As Slade never aged, he watched his best friend, age into an old man. Wintergreen was nearly twenty years older than him, but nonetheless, the change was dramatic.

Wintergreen had been there for support when Slade’s family had been torn apart by a choice of arrogance and stupidity. When Addie left, Wintergreen didn’t. This man – now old man – was truly family to Slade. When everything else failed, this old man was a foundation of strength that Slade had yet to attain.

Wintergreen was more of a father to him than his own biological father had been.

Slade clasped the old man by the shoulders, his hands trembling. He didn’t know what he was doing any more. Everything was falling apart, wasn’t it? He didn’t know if the choices he was making were the right ones. Even now, being fifty-four years old, and he felt as uncertain with himself as a young preteen. He felt as if he were treading through a sea of darkness and waste; his mind clouded with fog of immense proportions.

Wintergreen lifted his hands, overlapping the ones that were clasping his shoulders.

“Slade, what’s wrong?” asked Wintergreen, his expression turning serious as he gently squeezed Slade’s hands. He could only shake his head at the old man. He couldn’t say. He just couldn’t say what he had done. He almost let out a chuckle. Now he knew exactly how Dick felt – how he’d felt about revealing the worst part of his nightmares.

To acknowledge a terrible thing was the hardest feat possible. Slade’s throat contracted as he swallowed. He couldn’t do it. The secret was too horrible. The worried expression that was flooding the old man’s face soon turned into a touched, nurturing care.

A moment later, Slade felt hands grab his shoulders and force him into a hug. Arms wrapped around him, one firmly patting him on the back and the other lifting to cradle the back of his head. Slade’s arms were already over the old man’s shoulders. Then, his own arms responded in kind, after having so much practice from such a loving child in his life.

The weight of his heart felt ever so burdened. His thoughts were slugged down like sludge by the decision he had just made. Somehow, the hug by this old friend was almost unraveling. He dipped his head down into the neck provided. His arms clung the back of Wintergreen’s shirt with everything he possessed. His body shook with his effort to maintain his control.

What have I done…?

“Who died, Slade?” asked Wintergreen in a low murmur. “Is it Richard? Have you learned something? Did you do something rash again?”

“No one died.”

There was a light pause.

“Then, what has you so shaken and weighed down?”

Slade took a moment, accepting the warm gesture from the old man for another minute. Then, he withdrew, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Wintergreen took a seat closest to him. Slade didn’t look at him for a few moments and he was appreciative to the old man for not pressuring him. Finally, he gathered his thoughts and tried to formulate them into words that he could speak.

“What do you do when faced with a certain pair of choices?” whispered Slade, his face in his hand. “How do you choose? One that is so terrible that it might even be unforgiveable and one which outweighs the first by outstanding and horrific proportions. What do you choose when there are no other choices?”

There was silence. Slade restrained himself from looking up at Wintergreen. Then, after a few quiet moments, there was the sound of a long exhale of breath.

“I take it you were faced with this kind of uncomfortable position,” said Wintergreen, his voice soft.

“Yes.”

Slade still didn’t look up.

“Which did you choose?”

There was no answer for that. What could Slade say? He could only shake his head. Nothing good was going to come from this. He had only pushed off the inevitable until another day. But anything was worth protecting Dick. Anything was worth protecting the child that was his son. The responsibility was too sacred to let it fall to another.

“Slade, only you can find the answer to that, it would seem,” said Wintergreen quietly. “Whatever your choice was, it couldn’t be as bad as all that.”

“How would you know?” whispered Slade, his voice bitter. But the emotion was towards himself and not towards the old man. “How on earth would you know?”

There was a pause. Slade heard the man get up. There were the unmistakable sounds of coffee being prepared.

“I’m not sure what answer you’re seeking. What are you looking for from me?” asked Wintergreen. There was another pause. “It would seem that you’re looking for disapproval. Are you truly looking for your condemnation?”

Slade gave out a terribly weighted sigh, leaning against the table with his elbows and running his hands through his hair.

“Yes.” There was a pause. “No, of course not.” There was another pause, before the room was filled with another sigh. “I don’t know… Probably.” Good grief, he was sounding like a teenager. He dropped his hands from his head.

There was a soft chuckle.

“You sound like a man deeply burdened by life,” said Wintergreen, his hazel green eyes filled with gentle wisdom. A mug was pushed against Slade’s hands. “I think you’re missing something important. Like a little faith.”

Slade sucked in his breath, knowing all too well what the old man had meant. He slowly shook his head. “Will… No, I know what you’re trying to do, but… I’m just not that type. I can’t be a man of… faith. I’m just one of those people who don’t have it. I just can’t…” Slade trailed off, still shaking his head.

In all his years of being friends with Wintergreen, the topic of religion never came up. It was just one of those things that were never breached. Slade was less inclined to listen to such things, especially what had happened to his family. He hadn’t even known Wintergreen was a Christian. He supposed  by the way the old man acted, it should’ve given him away. But Wintergreen didn’t actually go to church every Sunday. Wasn’t that want being a Christian meant? A church going person?

“Why haven’t you tried to convert me before?” asked Slade, diverting the conversation; truly wondering about it, though. “Why now?”

There was a chuckling snort.

“Oh, good grief, Slade. You’re not normally this obtuse,” said Wintergreen with another chuckle, shaking his head in amusement. Slade’s eyebrow twitched. “First of all, I’m not trying to – as you say – convert you. I just asked you to have a little faith, not join the choir. And besides—” There was another shake of the head. “—you, of all people, should be aware of that answer. Trying to force you won’t go down well. You can’t force faith, nor shove the topic down someone’s throat. Richard is the perfect example of that. You, no matter how hard you tried to force it, could never make him your apprentice in the true sense of the word – at least not the apprentice you had been attempting during the beginning.”

“If you knew that, then why didn’t you try to stop me?” asked Slade, before he could hold his tongue. He knew his friend was the epitome of loyalty, but he couldn’t help his questions. “Why didn’t you turn me into the police? Why didn’t you let Dick go? You had plenty of chances.”

“Because, I knew things you didn’t.”

“Like what?” demanded Slade, his tone incredulous. “What could you possibly have known that I didn’t? Are you really saying that you knew from day one that this would happen? You knew I would adopt Dick and everything would be normal. Will, what happened wasn’t normal at all.”

It’s still not…

“Slade, what is faith?” asked Wintergreen.

“Will, we were—”

“Just answer the question.”

There was an exasperated sigh.

“I don’t know. You’re the one who is supposed to know everything about it, right?” snapped Slade, glaring at the old man.

Wintergreen gave Slade the most stern frown he had ever received. For a moment, he actually could relate to how Dick would feel if he were to give the boy that look. It was extremely disconcerting, to say the least. Slade sighed again.

“I don’t really know, Will.” The old man was relentless and Slade couldn’t hold back yet another sigh. He struggled at first, but he came up with the best answer. “Faith is a belief in something that has no proof or evidence.”

“Close, but not quite,” said Wintergreen with an aged smile. There was a moment of silence as the old man contemplated what to say. Somehow, Slade wondered if he actually wanted to listen to the answer. But there was something inside of his soul that needed comfort. He needed to hear something. He needed to know that he hadn’t done something that would forever destroy what little happiness he’d obtained. All he knew was he had just made an undeniably horrible choice.

Was there any hope for him, after all?

“Faith is a type of hope,” began Wintergreen, his voice becoming soft. “Faith is believing in something that isn’t seen, yet is true.”

Slade raised an eyebrow at that. “How on earth can you know if something is true if you can’t see it?” he drawled.

“I don’t know, can you see the wind?” said Wintergreen, sounding amused. Slade rolled his eye, shaking his head. “Exactly, Slade. There are many things in this life that aren’t seen, yet they exist. Physical evidence isn’t the only way to know something of truth.”

The old man leaned forward and placed a hand over Slade’s heart. The touch was somewhat startling, but Slade didn’t move. Something ached in his chest again. There was a deep knowing and sincerity in the old man’s eyes.

“There. There is the place where you will discover truth from lies,” whispered Wintergreen. “What do you feel for Richard? Is it love? Where is that? Can I see it? Is there visible evidence?”

There was a swallow. “My actions prove that much.”

“Exactly. Faith is the action of belief. Faith is a choice. It’s not something people have or don’t have. It’s not a possession nor a gift. It’s a physical choice one has to make for themselves. If you have faith in something, you hope for it, you believe in it, you work towards it, you see and envision the future with it. Because you love Richard, you do things automatically that prove this to be true.”

Something began to soften inside Slade’s heart. He couldn’t help but remember Dick’s laughter. He knew he’d do anything to bring that back, even a walk through the cruelest and most terrible of gauntlets.

It certainly felt as if he had done just that.

“Faith is a confidence like no other and it builds further confidence in the future,” said Wintergreen softly, pulling his hand back. “When there is that confidence, that faith, then remarkable things happen – even miracles. We have experienced one of our own, haven’t we? The growth you and Richard went through was a miracle of hearts. If the two of you could grow so close together, then anything more is possible.”

“But… my action, my choice that I made today…” whispered Slade. He shook his head. “There is no future because of it.”

“Oh, Slade, listen to me. No matter what, I have the faith and confidence in the future. I know that it will be a bright one. Therefore, I will act like it. My actions will attest to this belief.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” said Slade, his voice a hoarse whisper. He simply couldn’t understand. Where did the man get that confidence? How could he have such knowledge when Slade knew all too well the future was grim. There was nothing stopping it – it was only a matter of when.

No one would be prepared for it. Everything would be over. There would be nothing to live for – perhaps a half life, but never as it was before. Nothing could prevent what was to happen. Slade knew a powerful enemy when he saw them – and he had met few.

It was logical this would be the last great enemy he would ever face.

It would’ve been foolish to imagine that all was lost, but that was exactly what Slade was doing. He couldn’t have possibly dreamt that just as someone special had watched over Dick before, it surely didn’t mean such a presence had faded.

A hand clasped over Slade’s. It was filled with warmth. He looked up at Wintergreen as the old man gazed at him with deep emotion in his expression.

“I know your soul is weighed down,” whispered Wintergreen, squeezing Slade’s hand gently. “We all come to that point, some lower than others. But that is the time where you search for answers – answers that are higher than you. This is the time where humility rises where the pride once was. This is the time where you realize that you are weak when alone. But strength can be yours if you only look towards the future for something better. It will always find you – one way or another. Trust me on this. I know.”

Slade averted his eye. All this talk was nice, but… It still didn’t excuse anything. It still didn’t change anything. It didn’t make enduring easier. It sounded foolish to Slade’s ears. Choices were what decided one’s future. It had nothing to do with belief, no matter what Wintergreen said.

“Slade, I want you do something for me.”

“What?” asked Slade, feeling unsettled.

“I want you to have some faith.”

There was the clicking of a tongue.

“Tsk, Will, you know—”

“Now just hear me out, Slade,” chided Wintergreen, chuckling. Slade growled underneath his breath, but his expression softened anyway. “I want you to have faith in the future. I’m not asking for anything else. I simply want you to have faith that no matter what happens, that no matter what poor choices are made, that if you have this unshakable faith that the future will be just fine, then that is what will happen.”

“That’s impossible,” snapped Slade coldly. “Simply believing that the future will be fine won’t make it fine. You’re getting senile, Will. It’s disturbing.”

“And yet, Slade, you—” Wintergreen pointed at him. “—are the one coming to me for advice.”

Slade sighed, putting his face into his hands. For a long moment, Slade was still. Then, he shook his head, sighing once again. “You are strong, Will. Too strong. You’re the one who should’ve been immortal.”

“I am old. I have learned quite a few things through the years. If I’d been immortal, my common sense would’ve stopped aging like someone else we know.”

Slade chuckled under his breath, but he turned it into a good natured growl. “What, so, all this wisdom is from old age and because you’re a Christian? I just assumed it was from senility.”

Wintergreen gave him an almost all knowing smile, but he didn’t take the bait. “There are always more answers than questions, we just don’t know them all. I am but an old man. I’m bound to be more than one thing.”

“I don’t understand,” whispered Slade.

“Sometimes the mere act of believing is a power of all its own. Trust me in this, Slade. No matter the darkness, no matter how terrible and deep it might seem, there is always a greater amount of light to counterbalance it. There is always hope. There is always a chance for a better future.”

Wintergreen stood up. He placed a hand on Slade’s shoulder, causing him to look up at the old man. There was a gentle squeeze.

“So, have a little faith, Slade. You can’t know the good without the bad.”

The hand lifted away, leaving Slade feeling at a loss once again. He watched in silence as the old man began to pull things out for dinner. There was a spring in his step, one Slade couldn’t understand.

“I think we’ll go with tacos tonight. What do you think?” asked Wintergreen, glancing back at Slade with a warm smile. Slade only nodded and the smile beamed. “Good! While the children have dinner, I think you should have yours with Dick. I think that will cheer him up immensely. You two need a little father and son time without anything alarming happening.”

Slade was overcome with the feeling that Wintergreen knew Dick’s attacker had been taken care of, one way or another.

“I’ll watch over the others,” continued Wintergreen. “You just take care of Richard.”

Once again, Slade felt eternally grateful for this old man.

A half an hour later, Slade was in Dick’s room while the others were eating at the kitchen table. In some ways, it was a relief not to face the others. He wasn’t sure if could handle it and he certainly did not want to hear any more backtalk from Cyborg.

Slade set the two plates of homemade tacos onto the desk. Dick was still asleep, the kitten unmoving in her perch, but very much asleep. Guarding a sleeping boy required a lot of energy, after all. Yes, that was sarcasm. Slade snorted to himself again. He sat down on the edge of the bed. The kitten peeked an eye open before she resumed her sleep.

Slade carded a hand through Dick’s hair, before gently patting him on the cheek.

“Dick, wake up. Come on, wake up, son,” whispered Slade. There was a great amount of fear in his heart, worrying that Dick might never awaken from this. Thus, the relief flooded through Slade’s veins when he saw that crystal blue color as the boy’s eyes slowly opened.

Dick rubbed at his eyes, looking disoriented.

“Dad?” There was another rub. “What… What time is it?”

“It’s dinnertime,” whispered Slade. “Are you hungry?”

Dick continued rubbing, his hands now dragging over his cheeks. Finally, he looked at Slade, his brow furrowed with confusion.

“How long…”

The kitten removed herself from her perch and butted against the boy’s chin. She purred loudly, just as Dick’s eyes lit up at the sight of her.

“Kuroi,” whispered Dick, the happiness overflowing in his voice. His hand reached up and stroked her fur. She delighted in the ministrations. “Hey, girl. I missed you.”

Slade watched the exchange, his heart lifting with the boy’s happiness. He grabbed a plate from the desk and hovered it over Dick’s stomach.

“Why don’t you sit up?” asked Slade. “Do you need help?”

Dick shook his head. He attempted to sit up by himself, but there was a visible strain on his face. Kuroi mewled in protest, but she pulled away, knowing that it was inevitable that her perch would move. Surprise and concern flooded the boy’s features when he couldn’t sit up on his first try. He struggled to sit up, determination overpowering his other emotions. But when it became obvious that his condition was more taxed than originally thought, Slade set the plate aside and helped Dick into a sitting position.

“What happened?” asked Dick. “Why am I so weak? How long have I been out of it?”

“One question at a time,” said Slade, unable to hold back the small smile on his lips. He placed the plate in Dick’s lap and retrieved his own. Dick looked a little wary at the food, but quickly ate after his first hesitations.

There was a comfortable silence as the two of them ate. Strength visibly entered the boy’s countenance as he finished off the food. It was clear that he just needed rest and good nourishment to get him back to his usual happy, energetic, and mischievous self.

It wouldn’t happen too soon for Slade.

“So… What happened?” asked Dick, looking up at him.

“You don’t remember?”

“Yeah… But…” Dick bit his lower lip, looking unsure. Slade wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulders and pulled him against his side.

“You’ve been very ill,” whispered Slade. “I believe you’ve set a record for the number of heart failures caused by a collapse.”

Dick looked sheepish, but he smiled. There was a lift to Slade’s heart as he watched Dick. The boy was still very weak, that much was apparent. But there was light in his eyes. He wasn’t going to relapse again. It was only uphill from here. For now, anyway.

“Dad,” whispered Dick, leaning against him even more. Slade brushed his hand over the boy’s forehead, carding fingers through the fringe there.

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused.”

“Oh, Dick,” breathed Slade. He pulled the boy even closer, his arm tightening around Dick’s shoulders. He tucked the child’s head beneath his chin. “This wasn’t your fault. You’re not in trouble for being sick.”

“But I ruined Joey and Rose’s homecoming—”

“You did no such thing, you foolish child,” whispered Slade. “Now stop thinking like that.”

“But—”

Slade withdrew his arm and clasped the boy by the face, his hands engulfing those warm cheeks. Dick looked at him with a vulnerable, childlike expression. Slade leaned down and their foreheads touched. There was a soft inhale of breath from the boy.

“You are just as much my child as Joey and Rose are,” whispered Slade, squeezing the boy’s face gently. “Don’t ever forget that. I will do everything to protect you and make sure you’re well.”

And anything.

Light danced inside those crystal blue eyes; a mouth turned upward in the softest, gentlest of smiles. There he was, there was Slade’s son. Dick was back and he was going to get better.

Slade removed his hands before surrounding the boy in an embrace, firmly pulling Dick into his chest. Thin arms wrapped around Slade’s waist. He felt the boy bury his face there and Slade dipped his face into the boy’s hair. Dick was alive and that was all that mattered.

They stayed there, unmoving, for quite some time. It was only when Dick began to fall somewhat limp that Slade withdrew from the hug. There was a content, sleepy smile on the child’s face. Slade helped Dick rest his head against his pillow. He stayed by the boy’s side, running his fingers through the boy’s hair.

Dick easily fell asleep, his chest slowly rising, and that contented expression still prevalent on his young features. Slade continued to sit by his bedside, stroking the boy’s bangs in a gentle motion. He could feel the boy’s warmth beneath his fingers. He knew that Dick would finally have a peaceful night. Of that, he had no doubt. But he still worried for the boy. Dick had been placing so much on his thin shoulders lately. There hadn’t even been time for the poor boy to mourn the betrayal of that girl.

Slade knew that it wasn’t a romantic sense, but Dick had formed a deep, caring friendship with the girl. Losing that must have been hard on him. Then, that hadn’t been enough. Dick also had to be a target of aggression. And for what reason? For what purpose?

It was like his first family all over again. The ones Slade loved were the ones who were targeted. It was always his fault, it seemed.

Slade stroked the boy’s forehead once more before standing up, taking great care not to jostle the child from sleep. The kitten buried herself in the covers near the boy’s neck. She gave Slade a look that was all too telling of her position. She would watch over him.

With a small smile tugging at his mouth, Slade walked out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind himself with a light click. His legs led him to his own bedroom, ignoring the soft sounds of conversation that lifted down the hallway, and locked his door as he slipped into the room. The terrible weight was over his chest, like something was threatening to suffocate him. Wintergreen’s words were clear in his mind, cutting through the darkness that was overwhelming. Yet, every time he caught hold of those words of comfort, his mind dismissed it.

Slade glanced around his room. The dim lighting placed the entire room into shadows. He tore his gaze away and walked into his bathroom, stopping at the sink. He dropped his weight, leaning his hands on the porcelain countertop with his head ducked.

So much was happening and all too quickly. Slade wasn’t sure what to do any more. All he knew was he would do everything in his power to protect Dick. The boy was fragile in some ways. It seemed as if he could break at any minute, despite him being such a strong hearted child. There had been little time to enjoy the company of Joey and Rose because of the struggles of his youngest. It was certainly a strength to Slade to have their support, though, in caring for Dick this past day.

But it hadn’t been enough to help cure Dick’s issue; something more had been required.

Slade lifted his head and his jaw clenched at the reflection that showed in the mirror.

He knew he’d do anything to protect his son – all his children, truly. Things had changed since the first time he’d been a father, and yet here he was making similar decisions. He wasn’t sure if he could stop himself. The only thing he could do was protect his son. That was his only focus, his only drive. He wasn’t sure if he had the power to change the future. Being immortal didn’t make him all powerful.

All he could do at that moment was glare at the reflection in the mirror, a constant reminder of the choice he had made. Was it the right one? He didn’t know. He didn’t know what was right or what was wrong. All he knew was that he was a father and he would do everything to protect his children. He wasn’t that same mercenary so many years ago, or even mere months ago.

No, he had grown to become someone far different.

But was that person enough?

He clenched his fists and lifted one from the countertop. He placed it against the mirror as he stared at the hateful reflection in the mirror; wishing he could shattered the mirror and its meaning in an instant.

A simmering, red marking of an S symbol, one which had accents within the centers of the curves of the shape, was fading from Slade’s forehead.

ooOOOOOoo

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