Into the Depths – Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen
Shattered Remains

May 24th, 2009. Sunday, 10:22 pm.

“He would want to know, he would want to be aware of Dick’s illness,” protested Starfire.

“It’s not an illness, Star. He only passed out,” said Cyborg.

The four of them were currently sitting in the main room of the Tower. None of them wanted to deal with the destruction caused by Terra when she had gone after Starfire and Raven. In the end, Cyborg had finally managed to pull Dick away from Terra. While Beast Boy took Dick in his arms – he transformed into a gorilla – Cyborg carried the frozen body of Terra back inside. She was currently in the medical room on a white bed. Dick was lying on the couch of the main room, Starfire sitting at the end and allowing his head to rest on her thighs. Her hand was automatically carding through his black bangs, the worry of Dick’s collapse whirling inside her heart.

“He was coughing up blood!” cried Starfire. “He would want to know. He is the father of Dick. He would—”

“Let’s just calm down, okay, Star?” said Cyborg, sighing exasperatedly. “There’s nothing to worry about. Rob only fainted. Maybe you were imagining the blood. You know, with everything that was going on.”

“Dick does not normally faint!” cried Starfire, almost hysterically now. “I know blood when I see it. Dick does not normally cough up blood. Something is wrong!”

Cyborg sighed again. Beast Boy’s ears were drooping. Raven was silent. The mood in the entire Tower was depressing. They couldn’t understand why Terra had betrayed them. They mourned her absence and loss, even though she had turned on them. They had come to accept her into their group with ease.

But then, she had so perfectly turned her back on them. She had targeted Raven, had tried to attack her for some unknown reason. She had thrown their sacred friendship right into their faces. And for what? In the end, she had tried to repent, she had tried to change her decision.

Then, somehow, she had turned to stone. Why, they didn’t know. By whom, they didn’t know. And how they could save her, that also they didn’t know.

Their lack of knowledge was driving them crazy; the insanity of their minds billowing up like an approaching storm.

On top of it all, there was something wrong with Dick. He had literally fainted with Terra in his arms. He never fainted – he was their leader. He was always so much stronger than the rest of them – even though physically that wasn’t the case. For him to fall in a fight was simply unheard of – even with the most grievous of wounds.

“Look, Star, just give him some time to rest. We all need to…”

Cyborg trailed off, a pained look entering his expression.

Starfire knew, as a group, they felt lost. They needed Dick’s smile to relieve some of the suffering inside their hearts. But the more Starfire thought about that, the more she felt it was selfish of them to require that of their leader.

They had lasted seven months without his strength. They had endured those hours that felt suffocating; when every minute felt worse than the last – they had survived that and shone through that trial with growth. If they could survive that horrible, hard time, they could last one night without Dick. They had done it before. They could do it again. They had gathered their own power together as a group. They couldn’t expect Dick to hold them together, because he himself needed someone to lift him up. She had seen the horror in his expression.

He, just like the rest of them, felt terribly shaken by this betrayal, attack, and return – and, in the end, the frozen nature of their friend.

She would still consider the girl a friend, even if Terra didn’t think it.

Not only that, Starfire had been the witness of something terribly frightening. She had watched Dick fall. In the darkness, she had watched him fall to his knees, couching with such vigor that it frightened her to no end. Then, she had caught sight of the substance that painted his hands.

When she had brought light to the room, it was at that moment when she realized what had happened. Dick had coughed blood. That wasn’t good at all – even she knew that. She wasn’t that naive. She knew that something was terribly wrong.

To dismiss it was foolishness. He couldn’t stay here. Slade would know what to do; he cared for Dick. She had seen it in the man’s eye. It was an emotion that was reserved for only Dick. She had caught glimpses of it before, but there was such a tenderness in that grey blue eye when it gazed at Dick.

Starfire knew that Slade loved Dick.

Love was something that Starfire had learned about when coming to earth. Her people were ruled by their emotions, yes. But the delicate emotion that was love never made its appearance within Tamaran. Marriage was arranged for peace reasons. Reproduction was only for bringing forth the next generations. It had only been when Starfire came to earth that she learned how exactly she felt for certain people in her life.

Galfore had been the one to raise her after her parents had died. She cared deeply for him, a love that she believed was the same that Dick felt for Slade. Her feelings towards her sister were conflicted and complicated, due to Blackfire’s wild and cruel nature –  but she knew she cared for her sister. It wasn’t the same, though. Her feelings towards her friends were more powerful. She truly cared for them.

But what she felt for Dick seemed just a little different. It was… something more.

Thus, Starfire knew something had to be done. For Dick’s sake, in the very least. She gently began to pat Dick on the cheek, hoping to rouse him from his fainting. If she allowed him to stay, then they would go back to the people they once were. He needed to leave; he needed to go home – they needed time to gather their failing hearts. She patted a little harder when Dick wouldn’t wake.

“Starfire, what…” Cyborg trailed off once again. Then, shaking his head, he sat down on the couch.

A moment later, Dick’s eyes flittered open, his bright blue eyes hazed over as he looked up at Starfire. She smiled down at him, pleased that he was awake and well. Then, the light began to fill his eyes. He slowly sat up, glancing around the room; his gaze fixing on each Titan briefly, before settling on Starfire last.

“What happened?”

“You don’t remember?” asked Cyborg, his voice low; the pain hidden there.

“I remember… Terra.”

Dick’s expression darkened immediately. Starfire recognized a similar color in his face that Beast Boy always had in his skin. She wasn’t sure what that meant for Dick, though. He put a hand to his mouth, appearing to be sick for a moment. His eyes squeezed shut, as if he were trying to escape some image that had flashed before his eyes.

Finally, he swallowed once and lowered his hand. He still looked queasy, but the moment had passed and he began to settle down.

“Are you well, Dick?” asked Starfire, her voice soft and quiet.

Dick could only sit on the couch, the emotions of his heart swirling inside his chest like a tornado. Starfire sat next to him, nearly snuggling up close at his side. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders; resting her head there. Dick was thankful for her presence. He couldn’t return it, though. The intensity of his emotions was far greater than he had imagined. And he knew all too well that he wasn’t the only one in the room that was feeling the exact same thing. He wanted to shout, scream, tear out his hair; he wasn’t sure if he wanted to rage at the world or just drop down, curl up, and sob for a century – the two conflicting emotions warring against each other inside his heart.

Something big was happening. His nightmares weren’t normal. That much was fully apparent now. In fact, someone was targeting him and attacking him – along with the Tower. Raven was also a target. Why was this happening? Who had sent the doppelganger to haunt his nights? He had mentioned something about a master. It had revealed some very interesting, yet disturbing things.

First, whatever it was, something was after Raven. Terra had targeted her, after all, on orders from some enemy. She had come to the Tower to attack Raven from the beginning. No wonder Raven had felt uneasy around her. The empath could feel whatever Terra had been planning – not that Raven knew exactly what Terra’s presence had meant. She just hadn’t trusted her from the beginning.

Dick had placed his trust in the wrong person. He shouldn’t have trusted Terra with his identity. Slade had been right – the man usually was, after all.

However, the doppelganger revealed something else. Dick wasn’t the only target of it. Slade, too, was involved with something as well. What, Dick couldn’t be sure. The doppelganger almost mentioned something about ‘all three of them’ – who could they be? Slade was included in the group, so who was the other two? Dick tried to think about it further, but his mind was screaming at him; pulling him in all sorts of directions.

The biggest thought and feeling that overflowed his senses was the feeling of helplessness.

Dick felt helpless beyond measure. He wasn’t a stranger to the feeling, having felt it when he’d been a captive of Slade, before everything leveled out and actually became a wonderful, yet crazy normal. He knew what this felt like, and once again, he was faced with the unknown – he had no idea how to deal with those feelings.

Dick’s chest shuddered as he breathed in slowly. He was thankful that the other Titans remained silent. He wasn’t sure if he could handle talking; the sound of people’s voices seemed so ridiculous.

This whole thing just wasn’t fair at all! Dick had tried to be a good friend. He had tried to pull Terra out of the darkness. Yet, in the end, she had chosen otherwise. She had even flipped back and forth. Dick couldn’t understand the fickle, vulnerable personality that was Terra. And even though Terra had betrayed them once, Dick still wanted to save her. He still wanted to see her back to normal and still their friend – even with the past mistakes.

If there was one thing that Dick knew, it was how to forgive. Because of such a skill, because of such a choice that Dick made for himself, his life had changed for the better. Not only that, he had the power to change the lives of others as well – namely, being the adopted son of Slade. If the unimaginable could happen like that, then there was no way that Dick would let Terra fall through the cracks.

But they still had to figure out a way to free her.

And still, there was that helpless feeling pressing at Dick’s heart once again. This whole thing just felt out of balance, like everything was just too hard for him now. What more could he have done? He definitely shouldn’t have lied, that much he knew. But if he truly had been at the Tower, would Terra have still betrayed them? Did a single, stupid choice really tilt the balance of her heart?

Why did Dick even have to worry about such things?! Children made mistakes all the time, but they usually didn’t bear such a colossal weight on their shoulders. They made mistakes all the time and parents were there to correct them, and to teach them otherwise. Why couldn’t Dick be that, too? Why did his single choice have such an impact?!

It wasn’t fair!

This isn’t normal.

We’re not normal. What are we doing? What are we trying to do? What are we trying to prove? Are we even making a difference? If we can’t even save one lost little girl, then what the freaking heck are we doing here?!

The anger, the betrayal, the fear, the uncertainty – all of it overflowed.

Dick bolted to his feet and took a few paces forward. He heard the uncertain, “Dick?” from Starfire, but he didn’t answer. He just stood there, his chest heaving up and down as he breathed. His eyes burned. His heart burned. His chest burned. Everything just hurt.

And then, it burst forth.

“Why does everything have to happen to us?” demanded Dick, his fists clenched at his sides. His hands began to tremble. “Why did something like this have to happen?”

Uneasy silence met those questions. Dick squeezed his eyes shut, his entire face scrunching up with the pain that he felt. It lasted only a moment, before his eyes popped open and further words spewed outward.

“We’re just kids!” shouted Dick, whirling around. Everything was crashing down on his soul. He felt out of his element. The tragedy that had befallen them just felt too much. He never felt younger in his entire life. Not even when Slade was scolding him for lying to the man had Dick felt this young. There was just something so overwhelming about this whole thing.

The other Titans looked troubled as Dick continued to rant unhappily.

“We’re just stupid, little kids!” cried Dick, slicing a hand through the air. “We’re so young, it’s not even funny! Why are we doing this? Why aren’t we normal?”

Tears started to well up inside Starfire’s eyes. Her lips began to tremble. Raven was hidden beneath her hood; Cyborg obtained a stricken look against his human features, while Beast Boy’s ears drooped with depression.

“Why are we doing this?” repeated Dick again in a low whisper. “We should be in school, acting like normal kids, doing kid things. Our biggest worry should be whether or not we’re going to pass tomorrow’s math quiz. We shouldn’t have to worry about whether or not our home will be attacked or if our new friend is going to betray us and sell us out for whatever reason. We shouldn’t have to deal with things like someone targeting us for some unknown reason. Why does this happen to us?!”

Dick flopped down into a nearby armchair, dropping his face into his hands. He shook his head, unable to fully understand the whirlwind that was his emotions.

“We’re so out of our league,” whispered Dick. “What are we expecting to accomplish here? What are we trying to prove? To do?”

As Dick shook his head some more, his face hidden inside his hands, tears began to burn at his eyes. But he did everything he could to hold them back. He would not cry in front of them. There would be no tears here. He was the leader, the strength that held them all together. If he cracked and fell, they all would follow him.

A hand touched his shoulder, gently squeezing him there. Dick looked up to see Starfire leaning over him at his side. There were tears in her eyes, yet there was strength and tenderness inside them.

“Go home,” whispered Starfire. As Dick widened his eyes at this, Starfire’s hand moved to lovingly clasp his cheek. It was so kind and soft, and Dick found himself frozen by the hand. “Go home, Dick.”

“What? No, I—”

A strange intensity crossed Starfire’s expression. Fear entered her monochromatic eyes. She grabbed Dick by the hands and knelt down in front of him, the fear whirling with such power that it shook Dick to his core. He was captured by those eyes, unable to comprehended that she was actually holding his hands.

“Dick, you were coughing blood,” whispered Starfire, the pain and fear inside her voice. Though her voice was ever so quiet, every ear heard it. “Not even on my home planet does this signify as a good thing. Something is very, very wrong.”

 Dick’s throat tightened; his eyes burned – the warmth of her soft hands seeping into his skin.

“Go home to your father, Dick,” said Starfire; a thumb stroked the skin on Dick’s hand. Her voice was now only loud enough for him to hear. “Tell him that you are unwell. We cannot help you in this, but he can.”

“Starf—”

Cyborg’s voice was cut off as Starfire lifted a warning hand to him. She never tore her gaze away from Dick and he could see that warning flashing through it. Her eyes were locked onto his; that intense gaze never wavering. Dick swallowed, unsure what to say. As her words sunk into his mind, he knew that she was right. There was something very wrong. But he couldn’t leave the Tower. His friends still needed him. He was still needed as the leader of the Teen Titans.

What kind of leader was he if he just left them when they needed him the most?

“Dick, please,” pleaded Starfire, the intensity fading away into something soft and tender. “Please go to Slade. Please let him help you. Please get well for us, your friends. We cannot lose you, too.”

Dick’s lips began to tremble and he nodded. This was a strange moment for him. Starfire had never shown such feelings before. This was the girl that he cared for and even loved dearly – but this moment seemed to transcend that. Her hands were still clasped over his and she was still kneeling down in front of him. It was an almost mothering moment, but at the same time, it was something far more special from his dear friend.

She was showing him a side that she normally didn’t show to anyone else. Starfire was truly worried about him. It was written in her eyes. She was sacrificing the needs of the team for him. She cared about him in return, perhaps just as much as he cared about her. Was this her love for him? Was there that chance? Did those eyes feel the same? Did that heart feel the same?

Could he hope for that?

Dick nodded again, stronger now. Starfire smiled at him; a gentle, warm smile. She fluidly stood up, taking with her the warm hands that had been holding onto Dick. He found that he greatly missed them. He found that he was little too dependent on such soft warmth. Was that okay? Surely it had to be okay. Slade told him many times that it was.

Of course, there was a problem going back home. There was no easy mode of transportation from off the island.

Dick silently motioned a finger to Starfire. She tilted her head to the side curiously, but she then leaned closer to Dick. He leaned up and whispered softly in her ear, hoping that only she could hear him.

“I need help getting home.”

Starfire pulled back and gave Dick an appreciative smile. She nodded and looked over at the others. She put a hand onto Dick’s shoulder, squeezing him there gently.

“Friends, I will return shortly. I will see Dick to his father.”

“But Starfire—”

“Let them go, Cy,” said Beast Boy, speaking up with a quiet voice. Cyborg look startled that the youngest spoke up. Dick turned slightly to see that Beast Boy looked extremely emotional. His green eyes were bloodshot and were glistening with tears. But through it all, he was gazing at Cyborg with what little strength he possessed.

“If Starfire says that Dick is sick, then we should let Slade take care of him,” said Beast Boy. A warm glow filled Dick’s chest. The younger boy was using his name again and not just between the two of them – he was doing it like Starfire. “Slade’ll know what to do for him. Coughing up blood is serious stuff. We can’t deal with that.”

Cyborg sighed and nodded. Dick stood up, Starfire’s hand withdrawing from his shoulder, and came to Beast Boy’s side. He gently ruffled the spiky hair there in quiet thanks to his younger friend. Dick’s emotions locked his voice and he didn’t try to say anything. The young boy’s eyes glistened heavily, and a moment later, a small body collided against Dick. There were soft whimpers as thin arms tightened around his waist. Dick returned the hug, holding onto the young boy with all his strength. Finally, he found that he could speak.

“Thanks, BB,” whispered Dick.

There was the tightening of arms around his waist. Dick simply held onto the younger boy. He could tell that in the moment, Beast Boy was taking the time to cry in his chest, hidden from the others. Soon, there was a deep sniffle and Beast Boy withdrew. His eyes were even more red than they were before, his dark green eyelashes wet from fallen tears.

But there was a smile on his face; somewhat pained, somewhat fake, yet filled with the act of trying, filled with an element of strength – something that shouldn’t have been on a thirteen year old’s face. But because of who they were, because of what they had to go through, it was there.

All Dick could do was clasp Beast Boy on the shoulder and squeeze it. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen from here, but he had to fix it. He had to make everything right. He would figure out what was wrong with him. Maybe Slade would give him some of the serum and everything would be better. Everything was going to be better. Somehow, someway, everything was going to look up from here.

Right?

Then, Dick turned to Raven. For a moment, he just looked at her hooded head. Finally, after a long moment, she lowered it for him. There was such sadness inside those violet eyes that Dick felt instantly bad for the girl. She was one of the direct victims here. She had been the target of an attack. Only Starfire had been present for his breakdown. Nothing Dick could say would dampen the blow this had on all of them, but he still wished to try.

“I’m sorry, Raven,” whispered Dick. “You said something bad was supposed to happen on your birthday, but we couldn’t protect your special day. In the end, something bad did happen on your birthday. I’m so sorry.”

For a minute, Raven didn’t say anything to him. But then, it was then that something truly amazing happened. Raven actually smiled. It was gentle and bright; it was full of hope and happiness. Dick had never ever seen such a smile on the girl’s face. It truly made her beautiful. Dick couldn’t deny it – it took his breath away. At that moment, Dick wished that she would always smile like that.

Then, the girl threw her arms around his neck, shocking him even further.

“Thank you, Dick,” came the soft voice. “The bad thing didn’t happen. You protected me.”

It took Dick a minute to actually start breathing again. When he found that he could breathe, he wrapped his arms around Raven and hugged her back. After a moment, she pulled away and gave him a soft smile this time – not quite so full as the one before. Dick returned it, feeling overwhelmed by everything now.

He turned away, unable to understand what was happening. He looked over at Cyborg. The older boy was looking away and made no move to stand up from his seat on the couch. But then, he spoke up, his head turning to look at Dick finally.

“Get better, Rob, okay? Starfire’s right. We can’t lose you.”

Dick smiled weakly and nodded. His eyes lowered to the ground, before they glanced over at Starfire. She had gone to one of the large windows of the main room and was now opening it. She motioned him to come and he walked silently to her.

One by one, they were beginning to acknowledge Dick for Dick, the boy behind the mask. One by one, they were letting go of the past and moving forward. One by one, they were trying to understand who Dick was and not the boy they thought he was or wanted him to be.

Only one more remained rooted to the past.

As Dick stood by Starfire, he was somewhat startled when she hugged him; her arms wrapping around his waist. He didn’t have time to think much more on it when he felt his feet lift off the ground. He quickly tightened his hold on her and felt the outside breeze flutter over them.

He buried his face in her hair.

ooOOOOOoo

May 24th, 2009. Sunday, 10:22 pm.

“I’m okay from here,” whispered Dick, after they had touched ground outside the warehouse. He didn’t want her to come in. He didn’t want Slade to ask any questions just yet and he certainly didn’t want Starfire to answer them.

“Are you sure?” asked Starfire, the light in her eyes taking on a worried tint. “Should I not help you inside?”

“No, Star, really,” said Dick. “Please, I’ll be all right. I can get inside just fine.”

Starfire nodded and an awkward silence rose between them for a moment. Dick rubbed the back of his neck nervously, his head turned to the side somewhat. He wanted to say so much, but he found that there just was no way to articulate it all. Finally, he settled for gratitude.

“Thank you, Star. I’m sorry about this,” said Dick, feeling a little embarrassed that she had flown them all the way home. He was thankful to her, though. He wouldn’t have been able to get home otherwise, not on his own. It was strange, but he could feel the weakness within his body.

Starfire shook her head at him, a bright, yet soft smile spreading through her features.

“It is quite all right, Dick. I am worried for you,” said Starfire, taking his hand into hers. Dick froze from the action, feeling her kindly squeeze his hand. “Please get well. You will call us, yes?”

“Always,” said Dick, smiling back at her.

Then, she pulled him into a hug, leaving him breathless, before she pulled away. With a wave, she lifted into the air, their hands slipping apart. He watched her for a moment. Once she disappeared from sight, he walked into the old warehouse that had become his home. Each step was heavy and difficult for him. If he’d had a mirror, he would’ve been shocked by the paleness his skin took.

After punching the passcode in and entering the main room, he sighed in relief almost. Those gears above still clinked above. Everything was still normal here. There was nothing strange going on; nothing had changed. At that moment, Dick was thankful for that steadiness. It took him a few moments to walk through the room to the kitchen. His steps were becoming harder for him, his breathing constricting even more.

It was okay. He was going to be okay. It would take him time, but he’d find a way to talk to Slade. Sitting down seemed like a good thing right now, though.

As Dick opened the door of the kitchen, he was surprised to see Slade and Wintergreen at the table talking. They stopped immediately as he paused at the doorway. The two of them looked at him, obviously not expecting him.

“Dick, you’re home,” said Slade, looking surprised. “I thought you were spending the night at the Tower. Isn’t it Raven’s birthday?”

Dick only nodded. He swallowed once. He found that he could taste a faint remnant of blood in his mouth. Starfire had mentioned that he’d been coughing up blood. Dick’s mind was numb to that fact – a fact which should have been alarming to him, but he just couldn’t work up the energy to address it. He knew Slade would be able to know what to do. Thus, he could only stare at the two men who were sitting at that kitchen table.

For a moment, everything felt surreal to Dick. Here he was, standing at the doorway of this kitchen – this kitchen where he had spent so many meals; this kitchen where he had spent hours studying; this kitchen where laughter played, where dishes rattled, where food was eaten, where an odd, yet beautiful family had spent so many, so many meals together.

Why did it all feel so strange at that moment? Why did it all feel so normal at that moment?

He had a family. He had a home. He had food and warmth. He had friends. He had a father.

He had love – an abundance of love.

He was so blessed, Dick knew it all too well. Even when things were hard, there was still so many good things left. He had gained a father in the most unlikeliest of places. It truly was something to be remembered and be thankful for – and Dick was, truly he was. Things were good, were they not? There was unconditional love here in this home. He had a caring father, whom he loved in return – very much so.

And yet, Dick still felt as if something was too much. Sometimes, it just felt too much. Dick no longer knew what to do any more. He wasn’t sure where to go from here. He was confused. Where would his footsteps lead him from here? Could Slade really help with this? What could be said to mend the broken? What could Slade say to bring comfort? There was nothing to say.

Terra had still betrayed them. Nothing could change that fact. Dick still felt out of his league. His friends felt gutted from the attack. How could they move on from this? Who could they trust now? Was simple kindness a fading art? Could they no longer extend themselves to help others in fear of being hurt themselves?

Could they even trust themselves now?

“Dick, what’s wrong?” asked Slade, setting his mug onto the table. Dick only shook his head, unable to articulate the swirling feelings that were blowing inside his chest. The man made to stand up, but he never got a chance to do so.

“Dick-ie-bird!”

Something soft collided from behind Dick, causing him to startle in surprise. He recognized that voice, but what was she doing here? Hold up, how’d she even get in the door? It was coded! Not only that, it was the end of May. Both Rose and Joey were supposed to visit in June. Arms wrapped around his neck and a head settled onto his shoulder. Weight settled against his back, a soft warmth coming from it. Dick managed to glance over to see the owner.

“R–Rose…”

There was a soft giggle and older girl snuggled against his cheek like a playful kitten.

“Didja miss me, little brother?”

“Rose, do give me some room to actually enter the door, will you?” said a lyrical, yet dry voice from behind. There was a grumbling sigh from Rose as she moved away, pulling Dick with her. The tall young man that was Joey stood in the doorway. The blond hair was curly, while the green eyes sparkled with kindness. Dick felt his chest clench with both happiness and sadness, and he pushed all the dark emotions of his heart down.

He didn’t want to ruin this moment for Slade.

Now wasn’t the time to talk about what had happened at the Tower. There was no reason to bring up sad things when this moment was supposed to be a happy one – even if it were coming unexpectedly. This was the first time Slade had seen either of his real children in over nine years. This was a special moment, one to be cherished. It was not to be marred by tragedy.

Dick clamped his mouth shut, forcing his emotions back down and ignoring the actual pain it was causing his heart at that moment.

Slade stood up from the table. Dick looked over at the man, seeing the intense emotion whirling in that grey blue eye. He could tell that Slade was restraining himself from hugging his two children. Dick wanted to tell him to stop it, but he found that all his energy was on trying to maintain his own emotions. Sadly, Slade was on his own in this.

“Hello, Dad,” said Joey, his tone filled with tenderness as he stood in the doorway. His mouth never moved once. “It’s been too long, hasn’t it?”

Slade took a tentative step forward, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the intense emotion that was still over him. Joey also took a step forward, his arms out slightly. Then, almost instantly, both had completed the distance equally and fell into a powerful hug. Dick felt Rose tighten her hold on him. He smiled at the gesture and placed a hand on her forearm that was curled around his neck. Dick watched the two men, father and son, as they continued to hold each other.

Dick was truly happy for Slade. The man finally was reunited with his son. After nine years, it was truly a moment to be celebrated.

As they pulled back, Slade still kept his hands on Joey’s arms, squeezing there tenderly as he looked at his son.

“You’ve grown into a fine young man,” said Slade, his smooth voice almost choked with his emotion. However, before Joey could respond, Rose withdrew from Dick and had flung herself at the man.

“Aaah, I want a hug from Daddy, too,” whined Rose, her arms wrapped around Slade’s waist. The man looked surprised by the sudden affectionate attack, but he smiled anyway and wrapped his arms around her; holding her tightly.

Dick swallowed once, almost feeling out of place in the moment. These were Slade’s real children. He was just the adopted son. Somewhere inside Dick’s mind, a logical and sensible voice was scolding him for even going there. However, there was a darker, silkier voice that was sliding in lies ever so easily.

Further pain clenched Dick’s chest, nearly taking his breath away.

A warm arm drew over his shoulder, causing Dick to look toward its source. Wintergreen had drawn up to him and put his arm around Dick, pulling him against the old man’s side. Dick smiled at Wintergreen, who in return, gave him an emotional smile. Warmth flooded through Dick’s heart as that arm tightened and tugged him against that side once more.

For a brief moment, it seemed to chase away the pain inside his heart – like a bright light causing the darkness to flee. But the force came back, almost double in strength. A small cough broke through Dick’s defenses. He tried to stop it, but it came once again.

“Child, are you all right?” asked Wintergreen, sounding concerned. He placed a warm hand onto Dick’s forehead.

“I’m fine,” whispered Dick hoarsely, trying not to cough again. Wintergreen didn’t look convinced.

“Sit down and I’ll get you a cup of warm milk to soothe your throat.”

Dick obeyed, not wanting to cause a scene. He was thankful to sit down, anyway. He felt a hand rest against his shoulder and he looked up to see Slade looking down on him.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” asked Slade, wearing that same concerned expression that the old man had displayed. Dick nodded, trying to smile.

“I’m sorry, we kind of came a bit earlier than expected,” said Joey, his mouth still unmoving as his words filled the air. “We should’ve called, but there was just so much to do to prepare for the move.”

“It’s perfectly all right,” said Slade, looking up. “Are you settled in? Where are you staying?”

Joey got a strange look on his face, one that was almost mischievous and sheepish.

“Here.”

Slade raised an eyebrow, just as Dick’s eyebrow lifted into his bangs. So, it was a mischievous look. It held a remnant of Slade in that expression. It was like seeing a younger Slade, except with green eyes and with a softer complexion.

“What?” said Slade, looking thoroughly surprised. Joey got that sheepish expression on his face again. His lips pursed slightly in the effort to hold back a wide smile.

“Well, I thought it would be best just to room here, instead of renting an apartment.”

“Not to mention, free,” put in Rose smugly. Joey actually went somewhat pink at those words. Wintergreen chuckled quietly as he warmed some milk on the stovetop.

“Well, yes, there was that variable that needed to be considered,” said Joey, smiling with those pink cheeks. “But I really wanted us to have more time together. We’ve missed so much as a family that I felt this was the perfect opportunity to be together.” He faltered for a minute as he looked between the group. “Unless there’s no room here, then that’s completely understandable—”

“No, there’s room for you,” said Slade, quickly overriding Joey; that surprised look still on his face. “For the both of you, actually.”

Joey blinked. “T–there is?” he asked, looking at Slade with mild surprise. The man started to look uncomfortable and Dick saw the same vulnerable air come over him. Then, it passed as Slade attempted to cover it up.

“Well, when I built this place, I just made enough room…” began Slade, looking to the side as he trailed off. Dick smiled softly. Of course, Slade made enough room in this place. It didn’t surprise Dick, actually, knowing what he did about the man’s feelings on his first family. “Enough room for you two to have your own bedrooms, in fact.”

Slade rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, still looking uncomfortable with revealing this information. Joey’s mouth was opened in a perfect circular shape, his green eyes blinking a few times as he digested this. Then, after another moment, his face flooded in an overwhelming smile; his eyes brightly lifted with the happiness.

“I guess I did the right thing, then,” said Joey, his voice choked with emotion, even though his face never moved in the smile – those lips unmoving. There was an awkward moment of silence as Slade only nodded to that. It was such a funny and strange moment. Here was Slade’s chance to talk and interact with his children after so many years of being separated from them, and the man was acting like an awkward boy in his teens.

It was an amusing picture for Dick to see, never having seen such a side to the man before.

Dick felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up. Wintergreen handed him a mug filled with steaming milk and he accepted it with a smile. Slade’s hand was still on his shoulder and he appreciated the warmth that it brought to his skin. Dick sipped the warm milk, noticing that it was laced with honey. It did soothe his throat somewhat, but the tickle inside his chest was still there. He coughed softly a few times as he tried to drink.

When he couldn’t take it any more, he set the half finished mug onto the table. He needed to get out of here. He needed to figure out what was wrong with him – but he couldn’t take this time. Tomorrow he could talk with Slade.

“I think I’ll just go to bed, Dad. I am a little tired,” said Dick, his voice weak as he spoke. He pushed himself up, using the table for help. He took a few steps forward to the hallway. Slade looked concerned as he looked him over. A hand rested against his forehead, stopping his walk, and Dick found that he was closing his eyes in spite of himself. Another hand came to clasp his cheek.

“Are you unwell, Dick? You look very pale.”

“I’m fine.”

Something tightened inside his chest, a small twinge of pain flaring up there.

Why am I doing it again? I can’t stop. What’s wrong with me?

“Dick, you don’t look well at all. What’s wrong?”

“I thought the same, Slade. Doesn’t he look pale? I’m not imagining it, then.”

“I’m okay.”

Stop it! Stop saying you’re okay when you’re not. Tell him! I know I don’t want to interfere with this moment, but something is wrong. Open your mouth and speak the truth about how you’re feeling. Why aren’t I able to listen to myself? It’s like I have no control…

“Dick, there’s something undeniably wrong – you’re losing what little color you have as I speak. Explain—Dick!”

Strong hands grabbed Dick by the shoulders, just as his legs gave out beneath himself. Dick dropped his weight to rest against the wall. There were frantic voices that were calling his name, but he couldn’t focus on any single one. There was a roaring inside his ears that drowned it all out.

He didn’t want to ruin the moment for Slade and his children. Why was this happening? Why was he so sick? He was fine minutes ago. There was something definitely wrong now, but he couldn’t understand it. He needed to remove himself from the room, that way Slade could have a quiet moment with Joey and Rose. The man deserved that much. So, why? Why couldn’t Dick pick up his feet and walk?

Pain flooded through his chest, a twisting, constricting pain causing him to cry out from its powerful force. He doubled over. He would’ve fallen to his knees if he weren’t being held up by those strong arms. A coughing fit came over his entire body, just as the pain continued to attack his chest. It felt as if something were clawing inside there. He quickly tried to cover his mouth as further choking coughs tore through his throat.

Crimson painted Dick’s hand. There were multiple cries of his name and one, “Little brother!” before his weight completely gave out. He collapsed to the floor, with Slade reaching out just in time to stop him from hitting the ground. Pain ravaged his chest. More blood was sprayed into his hands as he coughed viciously. Further voices filled his ears, but they were drown out by another, more prominent voice that chilled his entire soul.

It laughed harshly, drinking in Dick’s pain before he passed out completely.

ooOOOOOoo

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