Into the Depths – Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen
Purifying the Misdeed

May 20th, 2009. Tuesday, 11:24 am.

A phone rang, temporarily stopping the scrubbing motions that Dick was currently undertaking. The floor was already pretty clean, due to Wintergreen’s efforts. However, because of his punishment of being grounded for a week, Dick had been set a huge number of daily chores. Scrubbing an already pristine floor was one of them.

But Dick didn’t complain.

It wasn’t even noon yet and Dick had done the morning dishes by himself; had learned how to do the laundry and complete it by himself – much to Wintergreen’s dismay, but he relented once he saw that Dick learned well; had cleaned the countertops and the cabinets; and finally, was spending the time before lunch to clean the kitchen floors.

But once again, no complaints fell from Dick’s lips.

The nice thing about it all was that Slade always seemed to need to do something in the same room where Dick was working. Dick was thankful that Slade was doing this, even if the man attempted to cover it up by making some excuse – like why he was needed in the laundry room where there was nothing for him to do. Something about a leak? Yeah, Slade wasn’t exactly fooling anyone, but the gestures didn’t go unnoticed by Dick.

So, even with the required chores, Dick was never alone, for which he was terribly grateful for – he wasn’t sure how he’d feel if he were to be alone during this. It showed that he was still loved and even forgiven; though, every day Dick still needed verbal confirmations of those facts and Slade gave them freely. Dick wasn’t sure why he needed them; he just did. The man seemed to understand that Dick needed them and he never begrudged a hug or a soft word.

It was nice to know that while, yes, Dick had made a grave mistake and that, yes, he had lost Slade’s trust, there was still a chance to fix it all; there was still the chance for everything to get better. The guilt easily began to slip away for the mistake he had made. While there was a part of Dick that wanted to dwell on the matter and sink low into the despair at causing such heartache to his father, it seemed that the sin had been forgotten to Slade.

He simply never mentioned it any more.

That alone told Dick to move on. If Slade wasn’t mentioning it any more, he was telling Dick that it was forgiven and that Dick needed to forgive himself.

Which seemed to be the hardest forgiveness to obtain.

So, Dick was content to live out his punishment completely. With the daily chores, he was also grounded from sparring. All training with the Titans ceased as well – Dick was pretty sure Cyborg wasn’t devastated by that news. However, Slade made Dick go through the basics as to keep him in shape. Slade seemed to know just how much Dick now enjoyed their spars with each other; thus, the grounding had been expanded to that. On top of it all, Dick had also been assigned a five page essay on the effect his lying had for everyone involved, including the repercussions he had received. It was due by the end of his grounding; however, until its completion, Dick would not be released from his house arrest.

By the first day following this regiment, Dick had fallen into bed, achy and exhausted.

And the next day, it’d been the same, but Dick never complained.

Dick glanced over at his father, who was sitting at the kitchen table. The phone rang again and Slade dipped into his pocket, bringing out the same phone he had taken away from Dick on Friday – another penalty during the grounding, which also included the removal his iPod and DS with its respective games. Slade brought it to his ear.

“Yes?”

Dick could recognize that voice anywhere, especially went it screamed out of the phone, causing even Slade to pull the offending phone away from his ear.

“Ah! Slade! Did you kill Robin and steal his phone from his dead body?” demanded the indignant voice of Beast Boy. Slade glanced down at Dick, a thoroughly amused look flooding his features.

“No. I didn’t.”

“Why do you have his phone, then? Why haven’t we heard from him? Is he still alive? How do we know you didn’t off him?!”

“Because I confiscated his phone, you impossible green child,” said Slade, still sounding amused; however, there was a hint of annoyance entering his tone. “Upon completion of his grounding, you may see him, but not beforehand. You may have your gloriously tearful reunion this Saturday, provided he completes the requirements of his penalty. Now don’t call this phone again.”

Slade ended the call and glanced down at Dick, who gave the man a sheepish expression. Then, Dick turned back to his work; scrubbing the clean tiled flooring as if it had ten levels of dirt on it. As he continued his work, he sneaked a peek back up at Slade. There was a small, amused expression crossing the man’s features as he turned the pages of his newspaper. With a smile of his own, Dick went back to work; simply enjoying the quiet company of his father.

It wasn’t much longer afterwards that Wintergreen insisted that Dick stop for lunch. While Dick’s appetite had waned considerably due to the nightmares, he couldn’t bring himself to argue or disobey either man. Especially when Slade asked him to try to eat. Thus, there’d been nothing to do but sit down at the table and hope that something would settle inside his stomach.

But Wintergreen seemed to know about Dick’s waning appetite and provided him with a bowl of some delicious soup. It was perfect for Dick and he found that he could eat the entire thing. It warmed his entire body and filled him up quite nicely. He gave the old man an appreciative smile, in the which he received one in return.

It was after lunch that Dick decided it was time to get some more work done on his essay. He wanted to put enough effort into it and show his father that he truly was repentant of his actions.

He never wanted to disappoint the man like that again.

“I’m gonna get some more work done on the essay, okay, Dad?” said Dick, standing up from the table. Slade gave him a nod. After a brief moment of hesitation, the boy shyly came to his side and latched a hand onto his sleeve. Seeing the usual routine that the child insisted upon, Slade opened his arms and pulled him into a hug. He felt the child relax and settle inside there in the embrace.

“Dad?” came the soft whisper.

“The answers are always yes, son,” responded Slade, before Dick could ask. He felt the tightening of arms around his waist. Slade held the boy for a moment until he gave him a gentle swat and pushed him back. He gave Dick a soft pat on the cheek. “Best get to it, then.”

Dick gave him a bright smile and left to walk down the hallway. Slade watched the receding frame of his son, feeling the worry rise back up through his chest. Dick still had those bruises beneath his eyes, signifying that he wasn’t sleeping well at night. He was still having the nightmares every night. Every morning, Dick would tell Slade exactly how much sleep he got and that he had the same nightmare again. Slade had to admit, he truly was becoming worried for the child. These nightmares couldn’t be normal. There just was no way. Something strange was going on. He wasn’t sure what could be done, though.

One night, the nightmare must’ve been exceptionally bad, because a scream had torn Slade from his own sleep. It had even woken Wintergreen, who had always been a deep sleeper. After reassuring the old man that he would take care of Dick, he had gone to the boy’s room only to find him doubled over the toilet bowl, vomiting violently. He had knelt down beside the sobbing boy as he expelled the contents of his stomach for about five minutes. All Slade could do was rub his back and try to offer comfort in the difficult moment.

After the episode, all Dick did was apologize for waking him. By the fifth time, Slade threatened to swat him if he kept that up. The boy, at least, cracked a watery grin at that. Once the boy cleaned up, Slade completely ignored the protests and picked Dick up like a little child – he was so light, it was easy to do. Slade took the complaining child to his bedroom, where Slade finally told him to shut up.

Even then, it took Dick two hours to fall asleep while curled at his side. Slade spent the entire time simply stroking the damp brow of black bangs. He knew how much Dick wanted affectionate moments – and he had hoped that it would soothe the troubled child’s heart and mind if he were safe inside his father’s room and bed. It was only when he listened to the deepened breathing of the child that Slade felt a sigh of relief escape his lips. This boy would be the death of him, there was no doubt in his mind. He couldn’t understand why something like this was happening to Dick.

There was something strange going on. There was something more here and Slade couldn’t put his finger on it. What could cause such violent nightmares?

“Slade, are you all right?” asked Wintergreen, breaking Slade from his thoughts. He looked up at the old man and shook his head.

“I was just thinking about Dick’s nightmares,” said Slade. “I’m worried about him.”

“I’m sure they’ll pass soon. Talking to you will do him a world of good.”

“These aren’t normal nightmares, Will,” said Slade, keeping his tone even, though there was deep worry there inside. “They just can’t be normal. I don’t think him even telling me all of the nightmare will stop them.”

“Wait, he still hasn’t told you?” asked Wintergreen, sounding surprised. When Slade shook his head, the old man’s tone turned to chiding. “Slade, why haven’t you required it by now. It’s been over four days since the beginning of his grounding period and you still haven’t required him to reveal what he lied about in the first place?”

“You’d be reluctant to force it out of him if you saw the look in his eyes whenever I mention it,” retorted Slade hotly, tensing defensively at being questioned on this. “I’ve never seen such pain in those eyes before – never before, I’m serious, Will. There’s something big here.”

“Still, Slade, you shouldn’t let it go this long,” said Wintergreen, shaking his head. “He needs to get it off his chest or he’ll never be able to let go of his guilt about lying to you. Haven’t you seen him struggling with it? Simply spanking him isn’t going to help him get over this, though, I’m sure it helped with his initial guilt. He needs to reveal the reasoning to why he lied in the first place or else he’s still keeping things from you as he was in the beginning.”

Slade sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbow onto the surface of the table. He dropped his head into his hands and ran his fingers through his hair. He felt a hand touch his upper shoulder.

“The hardest part is over, wouldn’t you say?” said Wintergreen with a low whisper. “Talking should be easy compared to what you had to do on Friday.”

Slade closed his eye and nodded. That much was true. He wasn’t sure how it came to be, though. He’d always been able to be firm with his sons. Dick was just another son, wasn’t he? How could he have become so much more? Was it because he was the one to lift Slade back up? Was it because he was the child that gave Slade the sense of peace and contentment in his life? It wasn’t that Slade’s other children couldn’t have been that.

Slade had just missed that chance.

It’d been true, what he had said to Dick. He couldn’t bear to hear those heart wrenching sobs that had overtaken the boy as he accepted his punishment. He couldn’t bear to see those crystal blue eyes glistening with his cries, nor those black eyelashes clumped together due to those tears. Slade could only think, when he saw those tears and heard those sobs, that he was the cause of that.

But in the next breath, he knew that he wasn’t the cause. Dick was the one who brought it upon himself and he needed to pay the price for it. He needed consequences or else there would be further poor choices in the future. He needed to feel the guilt. He needed to feel the remorse. He needed the tears. He needed to feel all those things to prevent such things from happening again. Slade knew this and yet he still hated having to be the one to teach Dick that.

And through it all, Slade had felt his own whirling feelings threaten to destroy him. He realized just how much Dick had grown to be more than just a son – though, he very much was that – the boy had also become exactly what Slade had always wanted in an apprentice; a companion of sorts. Dick was a friend to Slade in so many ways, a companion whom was just different than Wintergreen – though, the old man was certainly Slade’s best friend. The child’s mere presence in their home just brightened everything. Everything just seemed better when that boy was around, his smile lighting the room and home better than a light bulb.

Slade had wanted that, but hadn’t truly realized it when he had taken the boy in the attempts to make him his apprentice. It had been true, Slade had always wanted the special companionship that was a son.

Thus, to know that Dick lied to him had been a true stab in the heart for Slade. He hadn’t ever felt that way before. There was something about Dick that just unlocked every possible emotion in Slade. That boy truly was something special. To feel betrayal, when Slade hadn’t even felt that when Adeline turned her back on him, was something all too new to him.

It took Slade over an hour to remember his position in Dick’s life. He was the father, not the friend. There was no true betrayal on Dick’s part, just a foolish, childish mistake – broken promises happened all the time with children. They were young, inexperienced, and undisciplined. While, yes, there would be times that he would be friends – even best friends – with his son, there were those times he had to be the almighty father figure. Unacceptable behavior had to be corrected; thus, it was.

He’d had to come to terms with that. It had taken him the good part of an hour and then some to do so. Once he did, then correcting the behavior had been simple. When it was over, he slipped back into the caring friend of a father – the one that comforted, the one that held a sobbing child, the one that chided and begged for the child to do better.

Because, in the end, Slade just didn’t want to punish Dick ever again.

But, of course, that was wishful thinking. Being a parent was hard, truly it was. In fact, being a parent just downright sucked – to put it in terms that his son shouldn’t use. At least, the hard, unrewarding part did. The hugs, the happy, loving child – that all was worth it. Of course, only expecting things to be easy and wonderful in life just was completely unrealistic. Slade knew there would come times where being a father was more important than being a friend.

He still could wish for it, couldn’t he?

How far he had come. How far they had both come. Slade was a father in every sense of the word now. It was truly amazing. He had gone from hardened mercenary to full time father in such a short amount of time.

And Slade would never go back.

He never wanted to go back. The very thought of going back to such a man and such a time caused horrible pain to Slade’s soul. After tasting something so wonderful, going back would never be allowed. Even though sometimes it was hard, Slade would do everything he could to keep what he had now. And while time was precious and limited, Slade was going to savor every moment.

Even the painful ones.

“Best not put it off too much longer, Slade,” said Wintergreen softly. The hand on Slade’s shoulder lifted away, giving one final pat before it did so. Slade let out another sigh and nodded.

“Tomorrow, I’ll push it,” said Slade in a low murmur. He ignored the light chuckle that came from the old man. With yet another sigh, Slade pushed himself off the table and stood up. “I’m going to check on the boy.”

“Dear me, Slade,” drawled Wintergreen in a playful tone. “If you mother hen that child any more, I swear I’ll hear the clucking from your voice.”

Slade cringed and whirled back around to glare at the old man.

“I am not being a mother hen!” snapped Slade, growling fiercely; bristling at the term. The nerve of this old man! Wintergreen didn’t look phased whatsoever. He merely gave Slade a satisfied look on his wrinkled features. He opened his mouth and clicked his tongue elaborately.

“Cluck, cluck,” said Wintergreen with an extremely smug expression. “You keep hovering over that child wherever he goes. What purpose did you have in the laundry room, anyway?”

“There was a leak,” supplied Slade, already knowing just how lame that answer was. Good grief, what was happening to him?

“Mmhmm, of course, there was. Where, exactly?”

“Oh, just leave it, Will,” sighed Slade, giving up before he was verbally tortured further. “I know I was hovering over the boy. I just…”

Slade trailed off and looked away, putting his hands onto his hips. He knew just how sensitive Dick was. Honestly, that boy gave Joey a run for his money on just how sensitive he was. Slade never questioned it, however; knowing full well the painful past that he had endured. He knew that Dick needed reassurance. Every day, the boy would come up to him and ask for a hug – ask! The silly child would ask for it, as if they were rationed out. Then, the boy would proceed to ask three things.

‘Do you forgive me?’

‘Are you still mad at me?’

‘Do you still love me?’

And every time Slade heard those questions, his heart would break and it was all he could do to reassure the silly child of the answers. Of course, he was hovering over Dick! The insecure boy made it so easy to do. Slade didn’t even need an excuse. The boy needed and wanted it, but obviously didn’t know how to ask for it. Either that or he was embarrassed, which that was at least something. Wintergreen was right. Dick still felt guilty about his actions and would continue to do so until he spoke of the nightmare in its entirety. It was the reason for lying; thus, it was best to get to the bottom of it all.

“I understand, Slade,” said Wintergreen in a soft voice. “I feel the same way, actually. Go see to your son.”

Slade gave the old man an appreciative smile and proceeded to walk down the hallway. Dick’s bedroom door was ajar, so Slade pushed it open carefully. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly cut off at the sight that was before him. He walked further inside and stopped next to Dick’s position.

A smile tugged at Slade’s lips.

The boy had fallen asleep at his desk, his arms folded beneath his head. The essay that he had been working on was scrunched beneath his face, the paper crinkled. From what Slade could tell, there were only a few sentences on the page there. His hand slowly dipped down to brush those black bangs that were hanging down over the child’s brow. Dick didn’t stir from Slade’s touch, his chest slowly rising and falling with his deep breathing.

The boy had certainly been making an effort the past few days to rectify his mistake. He never complained about any of the chores that he had to do, nor did he complain about the grounding period from the Tower. He never asked if there was trouble or how the Titans were doing. He spent each day working hard until he collapsed into bed. He never whined about it or about how tired he was.

Dick truly was a remarkable kid.

Slade could visibly see the effort. It was stunning to him. What child wouldn’t complain during a punishment period? Any other child would gripe, mope, and complain during such a time – or even try to get out of such a grounding. It was more than obvious that Dick felt extremely remorseful for his wrongdoing. He’d been on his best behavior these few days. He never back talked. His answers were always respectful. He did everything he was asked immediately and with vigor, even when he didn’t want to do it, like eating during mealtimes.

And Slade was proud of him.

Unfortunately, it seemed that the intense, rigid schedule had finally taken its toll on the boy. There was nothing he could do at the moment for the boy besides letting him sleep when he could. But sleeping in such a position would do wonders for his back. With slow, careful movements, Slade slipped his arms beneath the boy’s armpits. A moment later, the boy had been lifted into the air and was inside his arms. Good grief, the child was light, despite being a healthy teen. He felt Dick stir there, his arms curling around Slade’s neck. Automatically, legs slowly wrapped around his waist as he adjusted the boy in his arms.

“Mm, Dad?” murmured Dick, his head resting against Slade’s neck. “What…?”

“You fell asleep,” said Slade, keeping his voice soft. He didn’t move from where he stood. Somehow, a strange sensation was coming over him at that moment. Now that the boy was in his arms, he didn’t want to let him go. He hadn’t realized it, but he enjoyed it when the boy was clingy. The past few days had been refreshing for Slade. All the hugs that the boy seemed to need had been enjoyable for Slade as well. He was more than content to humor the boy.

“Oh…” There was more stirring. The boy tried to pull back in Slade’s arms. “I better… I better get back to work…”

Slade pressed a hand against Dick’s back, forcing him back down into his arms. The boy was too weak to have the energy to protest against this action.

“Shh, it’s all right. I believe a nap would do you a world of good.”

“Haven’t got time for a nap,” murmured Dick. “Gotta get back to work. Gotta finish that essay.”

“You are starting to sound like a middle aged man on me. This is forbidden.”

There was a sleepy giggle.

“Have to… Have to make up for my…”

There was a gentle murmuring of the boy falling back into slumber, his voice whispering softly in his sleep. His limbs slackened in Slade’s arms. He could feel the deep breathing of the boy’s chest against his heart. Well, Slade found himself in a dilemma. He didn’t want to wake the child, nor did he want to stop holding him. Very strange dilemma indeed. And any person who pointed this out to Slade would probably regret it instantly.

Slowly, Slade picked up a book from off the desk and made his way to the bed. With painstaking carefulness, Slade positioned himself onto the bed with the child still inside his arms. He arranged the boy, so that he was lying next to him. However, Slade found that he couldn’t remove Dick’s arms from around his neck – they just refused to let go.

Therefore, Slade was forced to keep the boy halfway draped over his chest, his arms still tightly around his neck. Slade threw the covers over the boy’s body and wrapped his left arm around his upper back. With his free hand, he started reading the book he had taken. It wasn’t his first choice, but it would keep his attention for the time being.

In the quiet moments of hearing the child’s slow, deep breathing and within that gentle, snuggling embrace, Slade found a special peace that he hadn’t quite felt before.

ooOOOOOoo

May 21st, 2009. Wednesday, 1:04 pm.

Dick knew it was coming. Yesterday, Slade had told him that he would wait no longer for him to talk about the nightmare. It was time to come fully clean. Only then would Dick completely feel better about the whole lying mess that he had created. Dick had to admit, the man was probably right. He still did feel somewhat guilty about the whole matter. If relating the rest of the nightmare would relieve that, it was almost worth it.

But Dick was still scared.

Thus, that was why he was exceptionally fidgety during lunch. Luckily, though, neither man mentioned it and Dick was grateful for their patience. All the while, he wasn’t even sure why he was so afraid of this. The fear itself almost seemed silly sometimes. He just was so nervous. Talking about the last part of his nightmare just seemed so hard. Heck, he’d even take another walloping at this point – that was how much he really didn’t want to talk about his doppelganger.

Unfortunately, he really didn’t have a choice in the matter.

“Come,” said Slade, after lunch was over; beckoning him softly as he stood from the table. “It’s time.”

Dick let out the breath he was holding. He bit his lower lip as he nodded. He knew this was part of the agreement – that he had to tell the final section of his nightmare; that the section he had held back and that he had lied about and in the end causing all these problems for himself. He knew it, but it still didn’t make it any easier. Looking back on his choices, he knew that he would think twice and thrice before even opening his mouth to speak a lie.

He would remember this. He would remember every detail of it. He would remember the pain his heart went through. He would remember the initial punishment and how he felt in the moment. He would remember every tear that fell from his eyes and every swat that had landed on his seat. But most of all, he would remember the anguish that had filled his father’s voice; he would remember the betrayal that had bled in the man’s tone; and he would remember every pleading, sharp word that had been spoken with stern love and soft love.

How could he forget?

He would remember it all should his tongue wished to speak a lie. Then, in that potential moment, he would clamp down on that lie and never let it see the light of day. He never wanted to go through all that again. He never wanted to go through the guilt, the shame of his actions, the pain his own body tore through his soul, and then, finally, the sting of both his father’s censuring words and his reproving hand. He never wanted to break Slade’s trust like that ever again and he never wanted to make the man feel that way again.

He never wanted to hear those words again, “How can I trust you now?”

He would make many future mistakes, Dick had no doubt; probably even ones that would send him over the man’s knees again – though, he sincerely hoped he would avoid that. He was still young. He still had much to learn.

But he would never lie to Slade again. That much he knew; that much he wouldn’t allow to happen. He would not lie again. He would prove to Slade that he had learned this lesson. He would prove to Slade that he was a good father and that Dick truly did appreciate all that he did – and Dick would prove to himself that he had learned something from this experience and that he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

He didn’t want to disappoint this man again. He didn’t want to be an everyday, rebellious teenager that gave his or her parents grief. He wanted to make Slade proud of him; wanted the man to be proud to have a son like Dick. He would prove that he deserved such pride.

And that began with coming fully clean about the nightmare, no matter how much Dick still worried about the reaction. With one final intake of breath, he slowly stood up and followed after Slade. The man stopped at the entrance to the basement and opened the door. Dick was surprised by this, but he followed the man down the stairs without a word. He wasn’t sure where else they would talk about this, anyway.

Within a few moments, they had crossed the expanse of the basement and had entered the family room. Dick really enjoyed this room with its warm colors. He found that this room was rarely used, however. It was easier to stay on the first floor. The kitchen was warm enough to for a family meal. The library was a nice change of scenery. The bedrooms were cozy enough to Dick’s liking. With a lot of his time spent at the Tower, he rarely had time to be down here any more.

Dick felt a large hand slip into his own, nearly engulfing it in size and warmth. He looked up at Slade curiously, but the man wasn’t looking at him. He tightened his grip around that hand, enjoying the warmth that it brought. It was more than enough to truly feel his father’s support there.

A moment later, he was pulled to the couch and Slade sat down, bringing Dick down to sit next to him. The hand that was still clutching Dick’s with gentle firmness lifted to rest in Slade’s lap; his other hand overlapping the pair. Dick looked down at their hands, his chest filling with a tender glow as he enjoyed feeling his hand encased within his father’s hold.

“I realize…” began Slade, after a moment of silence, “that this nightmare is hard for you and for you to hold back a portion can only mean that it’s far worse than I could even imagine.”

Dick swallowed once and nodded slightly, still staring at their hands. One squeezed his own softly.

“That doesn’t mean I condone you lying to me,” continued Slade, his tone turning somewhat stern, but there was still that softness there. “That was unacceptable and I cannot allow it to happen again—”

“I won’t ever lie to you again, sir,” said Dick, his strong resolution filling his voice as he looked at Slade seriously. “I promise. Even if my words seem meaningless to you now – because I know I broke your trust – I will restore it. I swear it, Dad. I won’t lie again and if by some crazy, stupid chance that I don’t keep this promise, I know you’ll set me straight – and I’ll deserve it.”

There was a soft, approving smile that tugged at Slade’s mouth as he looked down at Dick. His grey blue eye gleamed with deep strength, a glimmer of pride there. Dick’s hand was squeezed once again, with a loving gentleness.

“I believe you, son,” said Slade in a low whisper and Dick found his heart glowing. “You have matured already from this experience. I can see it in your eyes. I’m proud of you and I know that you’ll make better choices in the future.”

“Wait, but how can you be proud of me?” asked Dick, feeling confused by that. He had messed up so bad. He had caused Slade such great pain and had broken his trust. How could the man feel proud? “I really messed up. I lied to you—I broke your trust!”

“I am proud of you because of how you have tried to fix that mistake,” said Slade, giving him a small smile. “You really went above and beyond what had been expected of you. You never once complained about doing chores, or being about being grounded, or about the essay. Granted, you were hesitant to accept your well deserved spanking, but that’s to be expected.”

Dick was proud of himself at that moment. He hadn’t winced at hearing the accursed term.

“But you’ve been truly a son to be proud of and I am pleased to claim that you are mine. I can see that you’re repentant. I can see that you won’t do it again. You are truly a good son. You have gone above my already high expectations for you.”

Dick felt a lump build up inside his throat. He swallowed once, trying to hold back the emotions that simple statement had brought with it. Even though he had totally screwed up completely, his father was still proud of him.

A hand withdrew from the pile and curled around Dick’s shoulders. He was pulled against Slade’s side and he gladly leaned into the half hug. He felt Slade come closer to him, and a moment later, there was a tender pressure at the top of his head that was the unmistakable expression of a kind kiss being placed upon an unruly garden of raven black hair.

“I know this will be hard for you,” whispered Slade, his voice above Dick. “But you are safe here with me and I will protect you. I will always do anything to protect you.”

With a smile, Dick slipped his arms around Slade’s waist and hugged him, burying his face against the man’s shoulder. He nodded as he felt Slade’s arms respond in kind. There was a long moment where Slade merely held him tightly. Then, the man withdrew and carded a hand through Dick’s hair.

“All right, time for you to talk,” said Slade, patting Dick’s knee with his free hand. “Slide your legs onto the couch.”

“Huh?”

“Go on.”

As Dick obeyed, even though he was puzzled by the request, he felt Slade turn slightly, bringing his legs to fully rest on top of the sofa’s surface; encasing Dick against the back of the couch completely. He felt like a gerbil as he was trapped there.

“Grab me that pillow,” said Slade, pointing to the other end of the couch. When Dick did so, the man sat up and shoved the pillow behind his back, smashing it there with vigor, before resting against it and the arm of the sofa with a long sigh. “There we go, much better.”

Dick didn’t have a chance to question what the man was doing, before a pair of strong arms wrapped around his chest and pulled him against Slade. Automatically, Dick extended his legs against the length of the couch as he laid against the man’s torso; those arms drawing around him in strength and warmth. He leaned his head back, feeling the man’s chest rise and fall beneath there. When Slade spoke, the voice rumbled against the back of his head there, almost lulling Dick to close his eyes and fall asleep.

“I thought you would prefer something like this while you talked about what is worrying you,” whispered Slade. After a pause, he continued in a teasing drawl, “You are the snuggling type, are you not?”

There was a soft giggle as Dick nodded, trying to hold back the emotions that were rising yet again. He appreciated the length that Slade was going for him. It was thoroughly overwhelming, the gratitude that Dick felt for this action. Slade understood exactly what he needed to get through this.

Dick let out the pent up sigh, exhaling slowly. He took a moment to nestle against Slade, enjoying being encased within an embrace. The man’s arms were over his chest, his large hands resting there. Dick curled his own arms around the larger ones. He took one of Slade’s hands into his own hands and allowed himself to fidget with it. Slade didn’t seem to mind that Dick was gently playing with his hand, feeling the taunt skin and its warmth there, and Dick was thankful for this. He could hold his father’s hand, letting it anchor him, while he related his darkest secret.

He could do it now. There was something very comforting lying against your father as his arms surrounded you – and that was what Dick was experiencing at that very moment. There was warmth in the embrace. There was warmth and life in that large hand. And it was a hand that would continue to love, guide, and protect Dick.

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly once more.

Slowly, the words fell from Dick’s lips. He spoke quietly and hoped that Slade could hear him speaking. The man never requested a higher volume, so Dick could only assume that it was all right. He started from the beginning, talking about the entire nightmare as a whole, knowing that Slade would appreciate this. He told the man every detail, not leaving a single thing out. He spoke of the colors, the sounds, and even the smell of the nightmare.

He spoke of every death.

All the while, there was a steady stream of tears that slipped down Dick’s cheeks. He tried to hold them back, but reliving the nightmare once again was just that hard for him. His body was weakened from the constant lack of sleep; and thus, his defenses were that much the more torn down.

Then, once he came to the designated part, that section of the nightmare that included his doppelganger, he almost couldn’t continue. But Slade was patient with him. While Dick choked on silent sobs, the man gently stroked his forehead; his large fingers running soothing warm tracks against his skin. It took quite a few minutes before Dick could regain himself.

Then, the words flowed from his mouth once more.

Every detail was described. Every word that had ever been uttered by the horrible creature was retold. Every touch that tainted Dick’s skin was related. Everything that haunted Dick, he told his father. The tears continued to stream down his cheeks, but the heavy burden that had been dragging his heart lifted with each word. He found that he could speak with greater strength with each passing sentence. The guilt of lying completely vanished away.

It was all lifted away.

The problem was still there, but somehow, the major pain and burden had disappeared. If only he had known this was going to happen, he’d have spoken up sooner. Might’ve saved himself some heartache and definitely a sore backside last Friday.

Funny how some things in life were like that.

Once Dick finished, silence rang between them. Dick was so worried that Slade would truly think he was losing it. In so many ways, Dick thought he was going crazy. It had to be crazy, having this same dream over and over again. There must be something wrong with Dick – that had to be it. Finally, after quite a few, long moments between them, Dick voiced his concern.

“I’m going crazy, aren’t I?” whispered Dick, closing his eyes. There was an exhale of breath.

“Oh, Dick, you’re not going crazy,” said Slade, his tone chidingly soft. “Was that your fear all this time? Good grief, you silly child.”

Dick rubbed the tears away from his eyes. Then, he twisted, turning around completely, so that his stomach rested against Slade’s chest; curling an arm to rest his chin. He could feel the man’s heartbeat, even through his shirt. Slade’s arm moved to wrapped around his shoulder, his hand patting him lightly on the back. Dick looked up at Slade, the worry inside his heart threatening to burst forth.

“How do you know that?” asked Dick, swallowing once. “How do you know I’m not losing my sanity?”

There was an amused smirk tugging at the man’s lip as they thinned slightly. There was a firmer pat on the back.

“Because, you are my son and no son of mine will ever go insane while I’m around,” said Slade, his grey blue eye twinkling with mirth. Even with that assurance, Dick didn’t feel much better. He bit his lower lip as he continued to look inside the man’s eye. He wanted to believe him, but Slade didn’t really understand. This dream wasn’t just a nightmare, it was revealing all the dark fears that lurked inside Dick’s heart.

After hearing those cruel things, after knowing what truly resided inside himself, who wouldn’t believe they weren’t going insane?

“Although, I must admit, no wonder you were so tightlipped about the whole matter,” said Slade, shaking his head. “I can understand your reluctance. That is one disturbing dream. However, I want you to know that no matter what, you can always come to me. I will always be there for you.”

Dick smiled at that, but after a moment, he sobered once more.

“If I’m not going crazy, then what’s going on? Why do I have to have this dream every night? Why can’t I have any peace?”

Slade looked pained by those questions.

“I don’t know, Dick. I don’t think these are normal nightmares at all. But what they are, I just don’t know.”

That much Dick could see. It was true. They simply couldn’t be normal nightmares. But if they weren’t that, then what were they? The very thought that they could be visions of the future sent a number of chills down Dick’s back. He quickly shoved those thoughts back down. That just couldn’t be it. The nightmares could not be visions, there was just no way that was possible. Dick was the only one of the Teen Titans that didn’t have powers.

And at this point, he rather keep it that way.

“All right, imp,” said Slade, after a few minutes had passed in quiet; giving Dick a playful pat. “That’s enough cuddle time. You still have some more work that needs to be done and it’s not going to do you any good to wonder and fret about these nightmares. We’ll figure something out, but for now you need to complete your penalty. In the end, I’m sure you understand how all this could’ve been avoided if you had merely been truthful and forthcoming with me, yes?”

Dick nodded meekly. Slade gave him a firm approving nod back.

“Then, we will speak no more on it. You’re forgiven, the world hasn’t ended, and all is well.”

Dick smiled gently at the decisiveness that Slade was displaying. It was a comfort to his heart. However, the thought of leaving the snuggling embrace so soon was just not something Dick was ready to do. He gave the man a light pout, snuggling deeper against the man.

“Couldn’t we stay here… just for a little while longer?”

There was a long moment as Slade eyed him. Then, finally, the man let out a sigh and nodded, drawing his arm tighter around his shoulders.

“Five minutes and no more, understand?”

Dick smiled as he rested his head against Slade’s chest, his head lifting somewhat with the man’s breathing. He was truly thankful for this moment to just be. He hadn’t imagined that Slade would let him snuggle for longer. But it seemed like Slade didn’t mind at all.

It was interesting.

Why?

Because, though the man had said only five more minutes, somehow Dick found that they didn’t move for another hour, at least.

How interesting, indeed.

ooOOOOOoo

May 23rd, 2009. Saturday, 7:39 am.

“Dick, for the last time, slow down,” said Slade, the exasperation inside his voice reaching its peak. Dick didn’t really obey perfectly, still shoveling food ever faster into his mouth. He was far too excited to slow down, anyway.

“But I wanna get there on time!”

There was more shoveling.

“On time for what? No doubt the lot of them are still dead asleep. It’s a Saturday—blast it, Dick, don’t choke!”

“Good grief, child, you’re going to make yourself sick.”

Dick giggled at the two doting men in his life. Slade shook his head, appearing thoroughly exasperated with him; but there was a hint of amusement in his expression. Wintergreen looked concerned, but he also was amused by Dick’s antics. With the final shovel of food – a large spoonful of scrambled eggs – Dick jugged down his orange juice and bolted to his feet a second later.

“Bye! Thank you for the breakfast, Will. Awesome as always.”

“How would you know? You inhaled it,” said Wintergreen, chuckling. Dick only grinned cheekily. He quickly came to the old man’s side and gave him a warm hug, wrapping his arms around his neck and settling his head there. There was more chuckling and a kind pat on the back. “All right, child, off you go before you explode all over my kitchen.”

Dick giggled. On an impulse, he turned his head and placed a gentle kiss on the old man’s cheek, before pulling back and giving him a bright smile.

“Love you, Will,” said Dick, his smile almost glowing. The reaction he received was one he hadn’t been expecting. He had never seen strong emotion enter Wintergreen’s expression before. But at that moment, the old man completely choked up. Gentle, wrinkled hands reached out and encased Dick’s face, a tender squeeze almost squishing his flesh. Aged hazel green eyes glistened brightly as Wintergreen swallowed once.

“Love you, too, Richard,” whispered Wintergreen, his voice choked with emotion. His hands withdrew and Dick continued to smile.

He realized at that moment that this had been the first time he had said that to Will. He had told Slade that he loved him multiple times, but somehow Wintergreen hadn’t been given the same appreciation. But Dick viewed the old man as an important person in his life, just like Slade. Wintergreen was loved as a grandfather. He resolved to tell the old man this more often from that point.

Because, while love wasn’t always expressed through words, saying those words were just as important. The words without actions were void. Just as actions without words were void. Dick needed to hear it just as much as he needed to see it. He didn’t want to be the only one receiving, however. He wanted to give as well – and give he would do so.

There was a light huff.

“What, only the old man gets some love around h—oomph!”

With mischievous giggle, Dick gave Slade a bolting bear hug, nearly bowling the two of them over to crash to the floor. After Slade regained himself – having to grip the edge of the table for support – there was a deep chuckle that sent warm tremors through Dick as he felt its effect. Strong arms responded to the hug.

“You forgive me?” whispered Dick, participating in his final daily need to be reassured.

“Always, you silly child.”

“You’re not mad any more?”

“No, I am not.”

“You still love me?”

There was a pause.

“Until the day I die and even beyond that.”

“You’re immortal.”

“Exactly.”

Dick’s heart calmed. It was the end of his grounding. He had paid the penalty for his mistakes. He’d completed all his chores. He had finished that long essay. Now everything was going to be all right. He’d been forgiven, his father wasn’t angry, and he was still loved. He needed that reassurance to move on. He couldn’t forgive himself otherwise.

Dick turned his head and gave his father a kiss on the cheek, squeezing his arms tightly around the man’s neck in one more outward expression of love.

“I love you, too, Dad.”

There was a pat on his back, before Dick pulled away. Slade looked touched by the loving display Dick was showing him. There was jerk of the head as Slade gave him a smirk.

“Best get going, imp, before the Teen Titans think their leader has officially met his demise by a one week grounding.”

Dick let out a happy giggle. He couldn’t restrain himself – he threw his arms around the man once more in a second round of a hug and kiss, before bolting towards the kitchen door. He glanced back at the two men. Slade looked slightly shocked by the second round of affection. Wintergreen looked thoroughly touched also.

“We have quite the loving child in our presence, do we not, Slade?” said Wintergreen, taking a sip from his juice; his hazel green eyes still ever glistening. Slade blinked, still staring at Dick as he hadn’t seen him before. Then, a gentle expression flowed over his features. He only gave a nod, before turning his gaze away.

“See you guys later!” chirped Dick happily, waving at them.

A loving child, indeed.

ooOOOOOoo

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