Into the Depths – Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen
Tearful and Awkward Reunion

May 23rd, 2009. Saturday, 8:12 am.

Dick was filled with intense excitement as he ran up the pathway that was outside of the Tower. He was so happy to be back here. While he enjoyed some of the time he had with his father, much of it had been spent doing the endless amount of chores that had been assigned to him. He was glad it was over now. Anytime he thought about what had happened, he honestly felt like an idiot about it all.

Really, what had he been thinking, lying like that about something so stupid? He felt like a complete and total idiot for sure. Normally he had some brain capacity, right? What was wrong with him to actually think about lying to Slade about something so silly and trivial? What had he been hiding, anyway? There was nothing to be afraid of – how irrational he had been. In the end, hiding the nightmare had been so foolish. His fears had been unfounded completely.

So strange, to be honest.

He really must not have been thinking properly – well, that much was obvious in the very least.

As Dick reached the main door of the Tower, he placed his hand on the security pad; the system slowly reading his handprint. He bounced his leg nervously, trying to hold back the excitement that was threatening to burst through his soul. He never realized just how long a week away from his friends had been – even after experiencing a time period of seven months away from them.

Just as the door slid open and Dick took a single step inside, barely even crossing the threshold, an oppressive air flooded over his senses. He staggered backwards, his back bumping roughly against the open door. He quickly put a hand over his mouth, his other hand clutching the fabric of his shirt.

Something was terribly wrong.

Dick would never have thought he could feel something like this – no, it wasn’t something like smelling the leftover odor of a game of stankball. It was a feeling, an oppressive one. The only word Dick could bring about to describe the exact feeling was dark. There was darkness in the Tower. There was some presence there that was evil and had bad intentions for the occupants of the Tower.

How could he be feeling this? This was something that Raven could do, something that seemed to be in her area of expertise. How could Dick know and feel of this presence? Was it just making itself known? But whatever it was, there was no doubt about one thing: it had no good inside it.

Fear instantly gripped Dick’s heart. He bolted forward, rushing through the main hallway of the Tower; a blur of burgundy arm chairs filling the side of his sight. He ran up the short stairs two by two and nearly smashed into the closed doors of the elevator. He pushed the button impatiently, praying that everything was all right with his friends. He could still feel the air bearing down all around him. He wasn’t sure what was going on or where this presence was coming from, but it was sure unnerving.

And somehow… it felt so familiar.

Dick tapped his foot, his arms folded, as he watched the elevator dial rising once he got inside. He restrained himself from pacing the floor. As the elevator rose in altitude, he slowly felt the oppression lessen. He wasn’t sure what that meant. Did that mean the presence was on the lower levels? Or was he simply getting used to it?

Please let them be okay.

Finally, he reached the floor of the main room. He rushed out of the elevator and ran down the hallway as fast as he could. A second later, he burst through the sliding doors of the main room, barely giving it a moment to open all the way.

“Is everyone okay? What’s the trouble?”

“Dick!”

The owner of that name didn’t have time to prepare himself for the ‘attack’. He was instantly bowled over by a powerful force. He landed hard on his back, with soft arms surrounding his neck and a curtain of red hair obstructing his view. When he realized exactly who was hugging him on the floor, he about died of heat stroke. The weight of Starfire on him couldn’t really be identified since most of Dick’s breathing was being constricted in one form or another.

“Star,” croaked Dick, gasping once as he swore he felt bones cracking. “Can’t breathe…”

“Oh!”

Arms withdrew themselves and the weight lifted. Dick gasped once, coughing as air rushed back into his lungs. Red hair still fluttered against his face. Dick looked up to the floating form of Starfire, who was looking worriedly down at him.

“I have not harmed you, have I, Dick?” asked Starfire, her eyes glimmering with fear. Dick cracked a smile, his face raging with heat at being so close to her.

“I’m a`right,” said Dick, his voice hoarse. Starfire gave him a beaming smile and pulled him upright to stand. This time, she gave him a softer, more gentler hug; her arms wrapping around him tenderly. Dick responded to the hug, his arms tightly squeezing her. He found himself breathing her in, a peace wafting over him as he inhaled slowly.

He definitely missed her.

“Hey, Star,” whispered Dick. “I missed you.”

After a moment, Starfire pulled back; still floating in the air about a foot above the floor. Dick’s eyes widened as her face turned to pleading, endless worry. Words tumbled out of her mouth and it took quite a bit on Dick’s part to actually get what she was saying. But then, he finally figured out what was causing her distress.

“Oh, Dick, I am so sorry. I have gotten you in trouble with Slade. I did not mean to – please forgive me! Are you well enough? Was Slade very angry? I truly did not—”

“Starfire!” cried Dick, putting up his hands. “It’s okay, calm down!”

There was a soft sigh as Starfire’s feet touched the ground, an arm wrapping around her waist in her worry. She still had that concerned expression on her face, but Dick tried to reassure her.

“Look, everything is okay. Nothing was your fault, all right?” said Dick. He waited for a response from her, which he got in the form of a small nod. He continued, turning his head to the side slightly as he blushed, “Really, it was my fault. I was the one who did something wrong. Dad was right to be mad at me. Everything is okay now, though. He’s not mad any more.”

Starfire’s expression softened. She placed a hand onto his arm. A blush rose even further in Dick’s face, sliding all the way to his ears – they had to be on fire, he was sure of it.

“Welcome home,” whispered Starfire, smiling at him. It took everything Dick had to return it without falling over. Being a teenager was hard, there was no doubt in his mind. It just was downright hard.

He let himself be pulled by the hand into the main room of the Tower. A moment later, he was greeted by the two boys. Excited chatter filled his ears as they welcomed him. Through the noise, Dick waved at Raven, who nodded in return and went back to her book. Then, out of the corner of Dick’s eyes, he saw her shiver once.

“Hi, Terra,” said Dick, calling to the girl, who was sitting on the couch. She gave him some acknowledgement, but it wasn’t warm in the slightest; confusing Dick. He frowned slightly, wondering what was wrong now. But, then again, he’d been gone for an entire week. Who knew what could happen in that time? How many fights had broken out since that time, Dick wasn’t sure. But it did seem that his job was never done.

Then, that dark feeling came over Dick once again and he quickly looked around, almost alarmed by its oppressive nature.

But as he watched his joyful friends chatter at him, it was obvious that he was the only one noticing it. Not even Raven was noticing if something was off. She just was reading her book, never stopping. Was it his imagination, then? Surely he couldn’t be imagining this dark feeling. This felt so real. But he wasn’t an empath. He wasn’t like Raven or even like Starfire, for the alien girl could feel when things weren’t right.

Was it just a remnant of his nightmares?

Was it really just his imagination?

That had to be it. It was only the feeling he felt when he awoke from his nightmares. Nothing had changed. He still got them every night. He still wasn’t getting enough sleep. He was still reliving those horrible deaths and hearing that terrible voice. The only comfort Dick had gained was in the form of Slade, who did everything to support him when the nightmare woke him in the middle of the night.

Even so much as sacrificing his own sleep and own bed to comfort Dick. Even when everything seemed to be falling apart around Dick, there was that strength that lifted him up. If it weren’t for his father, if it weren’t for Slade, Dick wasn’t sure what he’d do in this situation.

Thus, what he was feeling had to be nothing. He was imagining it. Even now, it was already fading slowly.

Surely, it meant nothing.

The strangest thing of it all was that Terra obviously was showing him a cool shoulder. It wasn’t quite a cold shoulder, but it was definitely an indifferent, cool one – much lower than Raven’s nod to him, in fact. She was sitting far away from the group, as if estranged from them all.

Geez, what had happened in the one week he’d been gone?

“So, you survived the warden, then – huh, Rob?” said Cyborg with a teasing grin. Dick laughed, blushing furiously while he nodded to this. It was obvious that Cyborg was trying at that moment. There was a deep worry inside his human eye. A moment later, Cyborg ruffled his hair. “You sure you’re all right?” came the more serious question.

“I’m fine, Cy, really,” said Dick, smiling through the ruffles. There was an undignified squeak and Dick was very proud to say that it didn’t come from him. He glanced over towards the source to see Beast Boy staring at him with vivid eyes.

Dick wanted to laugh and blush at the same time. Beast Boy was actually making a visible effort in keeping his mouth shut – it was far too obvious that he was bursting at the seams to bombard Dick with some personal questions. Unfortunately, the effect also made the boy look like he had to ‘go’ – as in, ‘go to the bathroom’ go.

“Geez, BB, you better not ruin the carpet,” said Cyborg, shaking his head and chuckling at him.

There wasn’t a green shade in Beast Boy’s face as he blushed scarlet. However, he got a very determined look on his face. Whoever said that this kid didn’t have the drive to get things done obviously didn’t know the boy well.

“You’re right,” said Beast Boy with a decided nod. “And Robin will show me the way.”

And with that, Dick found himself grabbed by the arm and dragged out of the main room, leaving the other Titans thoroughly confused by this strange behavior from Beast Boy. As the main doors slid shut behind him, Dick sighed to himself. He let the younger boy pull him further down the hall. Finally, Beast Boy stopped abruptly and turned around; setting his most serious look onto Dick.

“Well?”

Dick squirmed slightly, trying to avoid the question. His eyes glanced to the side as he rubbed the spot Beast Boy had held moments ago.

“Uh… Well, what?”

“Don’t do that!” cried Beast Boy indignantly, nearly bouncing up and down. “You know what – what happened?”

Dick felt his cheeks go increasingly warm. He looked down at the floor and shrugged, his voice locked away. It was embarrassing, for crying out loud! At least, Beast Boy had the courtesy to pull him away from the others, but even still – it was still embarrassing to talk about it at all! It was hard enough having to endure the whole thing without having to relate it once again.

“No, you’re not doing that to me,” protested Beast Boy, folding his arms and giving Dick a pretty good glare in the sternness department. “Slade was royally peeved about something. What’d you do to make him so mad?”

Dick sighed, swallowing once and seeing that this conversation wasn’t going to end without telling the changeling everything. He leaned against the wall, resting all his weight there.

“I lied,” whispered Dick. “I lied to him.”

Beast Boy’s eyes got really big at this. Dick curled his arms around his chest, slowly sliding downward to sit on the floor; drawing his legs to his torso. Beast Boy crouched in front of him with a reverent expression. The other boy didn’t say anything for a moment as he watched Dick. However, the quiet didn’t last long as Beast Boy spoke his question.

“What… What’d you lie about?” asked Beast Boy softly, seeing the distress that was coming over Dick. There was a soft sigh and Dick hated the answer.

“My nightmares,” said Dick in that same quiet whisper. “He told me to tell him everything, especially things about my health. But I didn’t and I lied about it. I lied again to cover it up – one lie always leads to another, after all, and I’m… I’m actually glad I was caught before I buried myself further.”

There was silence for a few moments as those words hung in the air. Inside Dick’s mind, he was remembering all that had happened. Even though he’d been forgiven, he still felt a twinge of pain and guilt prick his chest at the thought of what he had done. He knew that it was over and done with – Slade said so, after all – but he still couldn’t help but feel bad about it.

But his words were true. He was thankful that Slade had found out. No matter how much he had been nervous and scared by the fallout of such an action, it had been a relief when Slade had found out – like he wouldn’t have to hide any more. It took so much energy worrying about it all. He was thankful that Slade had taken care of everything – it was strange to think that, but there was no denying the relief and the lifting burden that had occurred through the week of being punished.

Dick was truly thankful to have a father again.

Finally, Beast Boy broke the silence, biting his lower lip briefly as he continued to watch Dick. He squirmed nervously, before his inevitable question came.

“Did he… Did he… well, you know. Did he?”

Dick blushed harder, dropping his face into his knees. A moment later, he nodded inside them and lifted his face. “Yeah, he did. He was furious. I deserved it, too. I broke my promise and his trust.”

I never want to do that again. I never want to break his trust.

I never want to hear those words again.

And I never want to hear that injured tone again.

Ever again…

Beast Boy looked uncomfortable for a moment, as if he were wrestling with something, before he asked quietly, “Did you cry?”

“Of course, I cried,” whispered Dick, wishing that Beast Boy would stop pressing for the sensitive details. He wasn’t sure if he could handle the heat in his face any longer. “You’d cry too if you heard the lecture he gave me. Still… I suppose that makes me a wimp over it. Robin, the Boy Wonder, can’t take a little walloping.”

Dick wrapped his arms around his legs and tightened them to press against his chest. Beast Boy plopped back onto his seat, crossing his legs in the process. He folded his arms and attained that unnatural serious look on his face again.

“I dunno… I think it’s impossible not to cry during a smacking.”

Why were they still talking about this?!

Ah, well.

Better it was Beast Boy than anyone of the others, really. The younger boy seemed to relate better with this subject.

“But I’ve been stoic before,” protested Dick.

“Well, did he lecture you during it? I mean, that’s always what got me. With the right words, anybody could go down into tears. I don’t know how parents do it! It’s like, with that hand whapping down on your butt and then those scolding words, what kid doesn’t cry?”

Dick cracked a small smile at that. Beast Boy sighed and looked away. There was a dark, saddened light that entered his eyes. His voice came out softly, his voice whispering.

“I’m just glad I’m not the only one who cries. Mento always told me I shouldn’t cry, but I always did. Couldn’t help it, really.”

Dick’s mood darkened from those words.

“Someone needs to punch Mento in the nose,” snapped Dick. Something inside Dick told him he’d be the one to do it, too – only if he ever met the man. But, of course, when was that going to happen? “You can’t wallop a kid and not expect some tears. Dad never scolded me for them. He—” Dick blushed deeply at what he was revealing – but in for a penny, in for a pound, as the saying went. “—he held me afterward. He really… He was really soft afterward.”

Beast Boy smiled at him.

“I guess Slade really is a good Dad. You’re really lucky, Dick – really lucky.”

“I know,” whispered Dick, smiling back and noticing that his friend had used his real name again. It brought warmth to Dick’s heart when he heard his real name from his friends. It was like they acknowledged him for who he truly was and not for that remnant of a boy that they had lost. Only Cyborg and Raven hadn’t called him by his real name yet.

Somehow, Dick hoped that they one day would come to that point.

“Yo, BB, I thought you had to go to the bathroom,” said Cyborg, poking his head out of the main room and coming down the hallway. Beast Boy’s ears perked up. As he sat there on the floor, he contemplated this statement seriously; wiggling once.

“Oh, yeah. I think I’d better do that.”

Dick chuckled as Beast Boy jumped to his feet and scampered off to the nearest bathroom. Cyborg walked up to Dick, who didn’t move from his spot on the floor. It felt strange being back in the Tower, actually, after this past week. Dick had been trying to connect his two worlds together – the one at the Tower and the one with Slade.

But the week without his friends had reminded him just how sometimes they truly felt separated.

“Are you all right?” asked Cyborg, coming to sit next to Dick on the floor. Dick smiled at the question, figuring that his ‘cross examination’ wasn’t over just yet. Of course, he wasn’t about to give up information without being prodded.

“Yeah, I’m all right. Why?”

“Well, all things considering…” Cyborg trailed off; then, noticing the expression on Dick’s face, gave Dick an incredulous look and nudged his shoulder. “Oh, come on, Rob. Slade looked so mad, I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel and melt the Tower in its explosion. Are you really all right? He didn’t… hurt you, right?”

Dick’s expression softened as he saw the look in the older teen’s human eye. There was genuine worry in that dark orb. There wasn’t any hostility, merely simple and true worry for his friend. Dick cracked a wry grin, but his features remained soft.

“Uh, besides the intense walloping for my idiocy? Nope, he didn’t hurt me.”

A dark light entered Cyborg’s eye, even his red, metallic eye going a few shades darker. He let out a low sigh and asked, “And you’re all right with that?”

“He’s my Dad,” said Dick with a shrug. “I don’t really have a say on how he disciplines me. I deserved it, though. Don’t get me wrong. I lied to him. I lied to my father.”

Dick’s arms tightened around his legs. He hated saying that out loud. He didn’t like admitting that he had lied to anyone. He hated saying that he had done something wrong. But the gentle words that Slade had left were pulling away the guilt. Slade had forgiven and forgotten. That meant Dick had to do the same. Why was it so hard to forgive himself?

“He’s not your father, Rob,” said Cyborg in a quiet voice. “He only adopted you – that doesn’t make him your father, you know. It’s just a piece of paper.”

Dick let out a long, tired sigh. “He gave up everything for me, Cy. I know you’re having a hard time accepting him, but—”

“I’m just worried he’s gonna hurt you,” said Cyborg, softly overriding him. “You’ve grown so attached to him – don’t give me that look, it’s as plain as day. What if he betrays you? Could you handle it?”

‘What if he betrays you?’

At the very thought of that, a shudder ran through Dick’s back. But even as the words sunk into his mind – the darkness which lived there trying its everything to latch onto it and feed him lies – he just knew that Slade would never do that. Slade was a man of his word, that much Dick knew with everything of his soul. Even when they hadn’t been father and son, Slade had stuck to his word.

The man had promised never to beat him again, and he hadn’t. The man had promised never to be Deathstroke for now, and he hadn’t. The man had promised never to lie to Dick, and he hadn’t – in fact, Dick was the one to break his end of that promise. The man hadn’t resorted to striking him in his anger. Heck, he hadn’t even used a spoon like Wintergreen had threatened when Dick had said something so foolish. The man didn’t do anything more than give Dick a reproving hand, even when something harsher could’ve been used. No, Slade had proven that he was a man who would stick by his word. Dick always felt he wanted to be someone like that. He had failed this time, but he wanted to prove that he could be like his father in that.

A man of his word.

But there was always a ‘what if’ in life and Dick found that he couldn’t keep himself away from thinking it. What if Slade did betray him? What if the man did turn his back on him? What would Dick do? Would he be able to survive such a time? Would his heart fail him? Or would it harden, never to open back up again?

Would he be angry? Would everything just seem that much harder? Even if the world ended, if Dick had Slade to support him, he was pretty sure he could survive. But if the man wasn’t there, Dick knew something would die inside his heart.

Was something like that even possible?

Well, in the event of a betrayal, it seemed like all options were more than likely.

“Probably not,” admitted Dick in a painfully soft whisper; answering Cyborg’s hard question. “I’ve been without a father for so long, it’s kind of hard to imagine him not in my life now. I don’t think I could handle his betrayal. I know you’re worried about me and I appreciate that. But he’s not hurting me and he’s not going to betray me. Sure, getting walloped definitely isn’t pleasant, but it’s over and done with – and he’s not mad at me any more. I’m glad my lying to Dad didn’t lead to anything serious. He’s right – better to have that stinging backside deter me from making stupid choices in the future.”

Cyborg shook his head. “I don’t understand you. Why would you even want that? Wasn’t having your life your own better than having an adult decide everything for you?”

“No, it wasn’t. Because,” began Dick, his voice tender. “We all need a father. We all need a mother. We all need someone to look out for us. Because, in the end, we’re just a bunch of kids.”

“Yeah, but we’re kids who kick bad guy butt,” said Cyborg with a smirk.

Dick laughed.

“Yeah, but we’re still just kids.”

ooOOOOOoo

May 24th, 2009. Sunday, 9:00 pm.

The day had started out like any normal day. Except, of course, all the secret planning that had been going on behind the scenes. Today was Raven’s birthday, after all, and Dick was determined to make the girl feel that she was appreciated and loved by her friends. It made Dick happy to see that Beast Boy was really into the planning and he hoped that the young changeling really did care about Raven. It was definitely showing up in his actions, so that said quite a bit.

The strange thing was that every time that Dick tried to speak to Terra, she didn’t engage with him very much. When Dick mentioned this to Cyborg, he was informed that the girl had begun to act like this a few days after Dick left with Slade. Cyborg also didn’t understand what was going on with her. The fighting and bickering between Beast Boy and Raven had ceased, but a new set of contention had risen in its place – between Raven and Terra.

Dick was told that it was like Terra was actually trying to bait the other girl. It was the oddest thing ever. And apparently, Raven did everything she could to maintain her control, but sometimes it escalated into a full blown argument.

A lot had happened in Dick’s absence.

He was also a peacemaker, like Starfire. Except, his peacemaking skills also came with the leadership position. When he spoke, he expected everyone to listen to him – probably a skill he obtained from Slade as well.

Thus, when a small fight had begun to break out yesterday, Dick had quickly put an end to it. Raven had actually looked relieved, while Terra wouldn’t look him in the eyes. It was like she was avoiding him altogether. Dick felt like bashing his head against the wall. Would Titans Tower have no peace? Why couldn’t everyone just get along? What was so hard about it?

Dick was totally going to beg his father to come back to the Tower. The man’s presence seemed to have a good effect on his friends. He was a scary adult, after all. That was probably the reason for it.

But that was neither here nor there. Dick refused to allow silly little contentions ruin this evening. They were going to have a party and it was going to be a party in Raven’s honor. It was her birthday. She deserved a special day, there was no doubt in Dick’s mind. Everything was going to be perfect – well, as perfect as a party planned by a bunch of rambunctious teen boys. During the day, Starfire kept Raven occupied as best as she could – though, Raven tended to gravitate towards being locked up in her room for some reason.

But Starfire didn’t back down.

While she kept their birthday girl out of the main room, Dick, Beast Boy, and Terra decorated. Cyborg was in charge of baking – since Dick somehow couldn’t understand the finer aspects of that art. Beast Boy was so cheerful and excited during the entire time, it was actually hard to reel in the young boy. Terra was the complete opposite.

In fact, Dick had to keep directing the girl to get something done. It was getting annoying, but he held his tongue. There was literally a wall around the girl, like she was pushing everyone away. It was more than Dick had ever seen Raven do – and she was far more inclined to do so. Maybe Slade was right – all these girls had… girl ‘problems’ and needed some time alone.

Dick was suddenly thankful he was a guy and tried to ignore the question as to why his face was red from the boy who was always green.

It was late in the evening when everything was finally finished – there had been a few mishaps with the streamers. Wise men knew to never ask about such things. Dick had to congratulate Cyborg on his choice of piñatas. He knew Raven would like that one, no matter how much Beast Boy protested that his look alike was inhumane.

Starfire had been instructed to bring the girl to the main room at nine o’clock. The rush to get everything ready in time was certainly overwhelming, but the boys seemed to manage, even with Terra’s help – if it was to be called that. When nine o’clock came, the remaining Titans waited in excitement. Dick was crouched next to Beast Boy, who was bouncing and wiggling in pure joy and happiness. Dick chuckled underneath his breath and put a hand on the younger boy’s head, ruffling the green hair that lay there. Beast Boy turned his head and beamed at him.

Soft murmurs of Starfire’s voice could be heard, along with Raven’s far more annoyed one – she had been with the overly cheerful girl all day. Raven probably wanted to scream. As their voices came closer, breaths were held.

“Starfire, would you please be quiet for one minute? I keep telling you I want to be alone,” said Raven’s irritated voice, its sounds floating through the door.

“But, Raven, there is something I wish to show you.”

“And then, you’ll leave me alone?”

“If that is what you wish.”

“Oh, I wish it, Starfire.”

Just as the main doors opened and the two walked inside, the remaining group inside in the room jumped out and shouted a collected, “Surprise!” There was a gasp of fright, along with a squeal of happiness. Starfire jumped up and down, laughing happily, while Raven had a hand over her heart.

“W–what is going on?” asked Raven, her breath catching.

“We wanted to celebrate your birthday!” cried Beast Boy excitedly.

“Who told you it was my birthday?” demanded Raven. The air instantly seemed to deflate as it was obvious that Raven wasn’t pleased at all with the event – well, when one glared like she was currently doing, it wasn’t all that hard to figure out.

“No one told us,” said Dick, stepping forward. “I learned everyone’s birthdays a long time ago and last time it was your birthday, you locked yourself in your room. I didn’t want that to happen this time, so I set Starfire on you.”

At the glare that Dick received, he sheepishly chuckled and gave her an apologetic look.

“Yeah, that was me. Sorry about that. But I still wanted to celebrate this special day of your birth, because we’re all glad you’re our friend.”

“There is nothing good about the day of my birth,” said Raven, her violet eyes darkening. “You are wasting your time.”

“Oh, Raven, surely this cannot be true,” said Starfire, placing a hand onto the girl’s arm. Raven jerked back from the touch, her arms curling around her chest as her cloak shielded her body. There was a haunted look in the girl’s eyes.

“If you knew, then you would agree,” whispered Raven. “Please, I just want this day to be over. There is nothing good about this day. While I truly appreciate what you’re trying to do here, just… please, don’t.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Dick, taking another step forward. Raven visibly flinched and stepped back. Dick stopped his advance, in fear of making her flee. He put his hands up to show her that he would give her space. “Raven, I don’t understand. All we want is to celebrate you. That is all this day means to us.”

“Yeah!” piped up Beast Boy, his long ears perking upward. “You might not think it’s important, but we’re sure glad you were born.”

For the first time that Dick had ever known the girl, he could have sworn that her eyes glistened with tears. He didn’t get a chance to confirm this as Raven turned her head away, her short curtain of dark hair blocking her face from view.

“Please,” came the soft whisper. “Just leave it be.”

“But—”

“No!” snapped Raven, whipping back, her powers flaring outward. Some of the decorations burst above them, confetti raining down as Raven took that distraction to flee the room.

There was the soft sounds of the shredded paper fluttering downward. Dick was shocked, to say the least. He hadn’t thought that Raven would have this bad of a reaction to them giving her a party. He knew she didn’t like too much attention, but he had thought she would loosen up a bit once they all got into the swing of things.

Why was she so against having her birthday celebrated? She acted as if her birth was a bad thing. For someone to think that… it had to mean that she had a low self worth about herself. Had they just not realized how little Raven valued her life? Was that what was going on right now? That Raven felt bad about herself that much to think something so horrible?

Or was it something more?

“What are we going to do?” whispered Cyborg. “We can’t really let this go. She’s our friend.”

“I agree,” said Starfire, nodding sadly as she looked at the closed main doors. “She desperately tried all day to get me to go away, but I never listened to her. Do you think it is my fault?”

“Of course not, Starfire,” said Dick, his voice soft. Beast Boy looked the most disappointed out of the group of them. He was sitting on the floor, his ears drooping sadly.

“How could she not wanna celebrate her birthday?” asked Beast Boy, sounding thoroughly depressed about the whole thing. “It’s the best part.”

Dick smiled softly down at him. He looked over at the main door, hoping that Raven would come back in and say she didn’t mean it, and could they start the party. But, of course, that just wasn’t Raven style, nor her personality. Dick glanced over at the others, the mood still heavy as ever. Then, he frowned and looked over the group more carefully. He turned to Cyborg, an uneasy feeling rising inside his chest. That familiar dark feeling was flowing over him once more.

“Cy, where’s Terra?”

“Huh?” Cyborg looked around the room. The others did as well. “She was here a minute ago.”

Eyes took in the silent décor; the large screen TV, the long, half circular couch, the kitchen area, the celebration treats, all the decorations that covered the room. Dick glanced over the other three teens in the room, his blue eyes connecting with each pair. It was true. There were only four Titans in the room – discounting Raven, who had obviously fled.

One was missing.

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