Forgotten Bonds – Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Five
Test of Trust

January 26th, 2009. Monday, 6:37 am.

Dick was lying in his bed, thinking hard before he got up to start the day. His main thoughts were heavily set on what had happened the previous night; where, after his nightmare, he had sought for Slade – something he’d never imagine doing months ago. Slade hadn’t ridiculed him, nor sent him away; he actually invited Dick inside his room and even let him fall asleep inside his bed.

And somehow, Dick had felt safe.

There was one thing Dick was very aware of: he needed stability. And Slade was beginning to give it to him. Dick felt more comfortable around the man. He was even getting to the point of feeling safe when he was nearby. He felt uneasy when the man wasn’t around, taking comfort in the man’s mere presence. Also, Slade had been keeping his promise.

But what if Dick did something absolutely terrible, something that was completely unforgivable? Would Slade, even then, still keep his promise? While Slade had not once struck him out of anger, that nagging worry hadn’t completely gone away.

If he had to stay here forever, be this man’s heir whether he wanted to or not, then Dick felt a strong need to fully trust the man and feel completely safe with him. Maybe then Dick could convince him not to force certain things. If Dick didn’t have to kill, he’d probably be content to stay by Slade’s side.

But he couldn’t – not with that nagging little voice in the back of his mind.

So…

Dick would have to test the man.

It was probably suicidal thinking. But, as always, desperate times call for desperate measures. There was a huge crazy risk to all this. If Slade reverted to his old ways, Dick would probably be beaten to a pulp – broken bones galore. But if Slade did keep his word, Dick would most likely find himself in that embarrassing and childish position once again; getting the walloping of his life.

Either way, Dick was sure to experience some kind of physical discomfort, to say the very least.

Was the emotional reward that important to risk all that?

Yes, Dick desperately needed that emotional security. With either outcome, he’d know what to expect and how to proceed in his dealings with Slade. If Slade was not trustworthy, then Dick would just have to take it in stride. He’d know to always second question the man’s words; walk on eggshells around him. But if Slade was trustworthy, then Dick could truly count on the man; could truly depend on him for anything.

In truth, though, Dick wasn’t sure which outcome frightened him more.

So, how to push Slade to his very edge? Dick had to make the man absolutely furious with him. He had to push him beyond his snapping point.

But what could Dick do? While Dick hadn’t really smart mouthed Slade much recently, when he did, the man had more control. It was as if Dick’s back talking outbursts weren’t affecting Slade’s temper as much as they did earlier. There were times the man didn’t even do his breathing thing to calm down before coolly reprimanding him in that childish way.

It was like Slade’s patience with Dick had grown.

Dick knew there was only one way to truly make the man furious. He had done it once before, after all. Would Slade deal with him any different than the last time? Would he truly keep his promise if Dick did the same thing he did before?

The very thought was frightening, crazy, and nerve racking. But Dick knew it was the only thing that would work. It was dangerous and stupid, no doubt; but the value of the emotional security would be well worth it. Dick was stuck here. For his clarity of mind and peace of heart, he had to do this.

Meaning, use another explosive.

ooOOOOOoo

February 1st, 2009. Sunday, 8:13 pm.

The plan had been simple: implant an explosive inside one of the robots in the basement. Then, he could detonate it and cause it to walk further away before the explosion occurred – he’d program the robot to have complete control over it. Dick made very sure that Wintergreen wasn’t going to come down the stairs at this time and Slade was dealing with something else on the other side of the room. It had taken a few days to gather some of the parts without Slade noticing; but because of the man’s training, Dick found it relatively easy to create the makeshift explosive.

Now he was trying to plant it into the robot at that very moment.

Dick’s fingers trembled as he worked the wiring inside the robot. The past months of training and education were, Dick had to admit, extremely useful. Things that hadn’t been within his abilities came like second nature to him now. Never would he had been able to rewire a robot or build his own explosive.

But here he was, doing both and all for a frightening reason.

Dick glanced over his shoulder nervously at Slade. The man was still busy and wasn’t looking over. Dick’s heart was pumping wildly in his chest as the adrenaline poured through his veins. He knew this was crazy – he obviously wasn’t thinking right. This explosive with the robot was dangerous, but it was the only thing that would really test Slade. He had to do something that would set Slade off. Thus, Dick closed the back of the robot shut and stood up; backing up a few paces and clicking the detonation; preparing to set the destination coordinates.

But then, something went terribly wrong.

It was absolutely apparent that any foreign objects and programming to the robot threw the entire machinery out of whack; because the robot began to rampage through some of the nearby equipment, destroying everything in its path. Dick scrambled back in fear. The robot turned and stopped for a moment before it started to advance on him.

Dick’s heart began to panic. The robot was going to blow up in a few seconds. This thing could injure him—it could injure Slade—

Oh, crap!

Dick really didn’t want to injure Slade. He just wanted the thing to blow up—make the man furious. But if Slade got caught in the blast…

The robot began to advance faster.

“Slade!” shouted Dick, whirling around and rushing to the man as fast as he could. “Get down!”

Slade turned around with a raised eyebrow. He was about to open his mouth and say something, but his eye widened as he saw what was happening.

Five seconds until detonation.

Dick put everything into his body as he ran. His only thoughts were to protect Slade. He had to get the man to duck for cover – he just had to. He’d never forgive himself if he caused permanent injury to him – it didn’t matter who he was. Dick never wanted to hurt someone like that; foe or friend.

Dick could feel the robot close behind him.

Then, Dick’s small body collided into Slade’s much larger one with great force; causing the two of them to topple backwards. Dick felt the man’s impact land onto the ground; a second later the explosion struck. The second the sound blasted through the air, Dick felt Slade’s arms wrap around his head. As the Dick felt the rush of hot air blow over him, Slade curled half of his body over him as if in protecting him.

A few moments passed as the blast settled. Dick could feel chips of debris all over him; then, there was the sound of a clunk nearby. Slade uncurled himself from Dick.

“Are you all right?” asked Slade, worry thoroughly prevalent in his tone. Dick nodded jerkily. He hadn’t been expecting that; guess he still had much to learn from the man. There was a twisting feeling in his chest. Dick had been trying to protect Slade, but instead the man had used his own body as a shield. The guilt was beginning to eat and tear apart Dick’s insides. This was all his fault.

And it was only beginning.

Slade brushed off the debris and dust from his shirt, and then commenced doing the same with Dick. The man spent a little extra time doing that, as if in checking for any injuries. Then, Slade stood up and pulled Dick to his feet. Slade continued to eye him carefully.

Dick felt faint. He was trembling and he seriously hoped that Slade wouldn’t notice quite yet.

But he had to go through with his plan. This was it. This was his chance to see if Slade would keep his word – really keep his word even in the most terrible of sins. No matter the outcome, Dick truly hoped that the man would at least forgive him for putting him through this. Slade honestly looked very worried over him. Dick felt like a complete jerk for doing this. But after all that Dick had to endure with this situation, he had to make sure just where Slade truly stood.

He needed to know.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” asked Slade again, his expression frowning slightly. “You look pretty shaken up.”

“I’m fine,” squeaked Dick. He swallowed nervously. How was he going to do this? He was so frightened to death to even speak properly. How the heck was he supposed to just outright tell Slade that this was his doing?

Slade looked over at the area as he lifted a hand to run through his hair.

“What on earth happened?” said Slade, dropping his hand after a moment. “This is highly unusual.”

Dick took this opportunity. He prayed to the heavens that he wasn’t going to die through this. If there ever was a deity, Dick seriously hoped that said deity would get him through this – alive.

“It was my fault,” said Dick, choking the words out as quickly as he could. Slade looked down at him; his eyebrow raising. Dick’s heart rose into his throat, pounding furiously in his pure fright. Every part of his body was trembling and his skin began to form a sheen of sweat.

“You were playing with it?”

Dick vigorously shook his head. Slade raised his eyebrow again. Dick’s voice caught in his throat and he couldn’t speak. Fear and stress began to pour through his entire body. The palms of his hands were getting extremely damp. Dick’s breathing began to intensify. He had to do this. He had to go through with this. He had to push Slade to his very limit.

Forgive me…

“It’s all my fault,” cried Dick, the word squeaking through his throat. Slade pursed his lips as he studied Dick. Then, Slade let out a small sigh mixed with an inaudible laugh.

“Dick, you need to clarify yourself. Quickly, too,” said Slade, putting a hand to his forehead. “I’m starting to think up quite a few scenarios that aren’t pleasant and just can’t be true. You need to tell me that this wasn’t on purpose. Tell me this was an accident.”

“It—wasn’t,” blurted Dick quickly, his breath hitching once; his heart rapidly pounding against his chest so hard, he swore at any minute it’d break through his flesh. Slade’s eye widened.

“Dick…”

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

“I did this on purpose,” cried Dick, hurrying. “I–I–I put an explosive inside the robot.”

“You messed with an explosive?” breathed Slade, looking completely taken aback. “After…”

Dick nodded rapidly. The quicker Slade realized what was going on, the faster they could get this over with. Dick wasn’t sure how much longer he could handle the twisting guilt in his stomach. He felt terrible. He couldn’t bear this. He hated himself.

Slade took a step closer to him. Dick didn’t move. He locked his jaw, trying his all to keep from trembling to death. He wasn’t going to run away now.

This was it.

“Dick, tell me this isn’t what I think it is,” breathed Slade in a soft, dangerous tone. The man stepped closer, now less than a foot away from him. Dick lifted his head more to look up into the man’s face. He felt so small before him. It took all his strength to open his mouth. He had to voice it. He had to speak. He needed to know the truth. With one final swallow, Dick locked his jaw even more; pulling his most defiant look he could throughout his face.

“I did it on purpose.”

Please forgive me…

I’m so sorry.

There was stilled silence as Dick looked up into the man’s face. Dick watched as a change flowed over Slade. Pure fury began to settle inside his grey blue eye, sending a deep chill down Dick’s back. But he held his ground. Slade’s eye widened with the fury as his entire expression became livid.

“Is this really true?” asked Slade in a terribly dark tone; ice frozen throughout his voice. Dick took a deep breath.

“Yes, sir.”

Slade looked enraged with this answer. Dick was roughly grabbed by the shoulder; Slade’s hand rising into the air as if to strike him. Dick squeezed his eyes shut; waiting for the inevitable strike.

Well, so that was that. Slade couldn’t be trusted. After all this time… the man couldn’t be trusted. All the pleasant moments they had spent together were just a fake fantasy; an illusory idealism; a deceptive dream. There was no way Dick could ever come to trust or rely on this man. It was nice while it lasted.

But Dick couldn’t stop the depression that filled his entire being.

The thought of not being able to trust Slade seemed to be more crushing on his soul than he had originally thought.

Total despair rose inside Dick’s chest. It was horribly overpowering in its strength. He nearly gasped at its power – he hadn’t counted on this feeling. His eyes burned with fear and desolation. He wanted to cry; break down into terrible heart wrenching, body wracking sobs. There was no hope now. He was utterly alone in everything. Slade hadn’t changed; he just had held back. The man couldn’t keep his word.

There was no hope; Dick was forever lost – alone.

So alone.

Slade clenched his raised hand; taking everything he had to keep from striking this wretched boy. How dare he do this again?! What on earth happened? What was this stupid, idiotic boy thinking!? Hadn’t Slade made it very clear never to do something like this again? Hadn’t been getting brutally beaten been a deep enough message? What was going through this boy’s head?!

But the flutter of something unimaginably soft held back his hand.

Slade knew; he couldn’t strike. He had to hold back. He promised the boy. He had promised – sworn to keep his word. He had to get a hold of himself. No matter how much he wanted to beat and shake this dangerous and destructive stupidity right out of this irritatingly idiotic child, he just couldn’t. A part of his heart couldn’t bear it.

It took all of Slade’s energy to drop his hand onto the boy’s other shoulder; his hands lightly squeezing both of the thin shoulders beneath his grasp. Dick visibly flinched. Slade bowed his head, trying to calm the terrible rage that was eating through his entire being. It was taking every single amount of his control to keep from shaking this child so hard until his brain rattled inside his head.

“Go to your room,” murmured Slade finally, taking deep, deep breaths.

“B–but…”

“Now!” shouted Slade fiercely, unable to stop himself from shaking the boy once. Dick whirled on his heels out of Slade’s grasp and fled to the stairs. Slade placed a hand over his face as he listened to the quick, frantic footsteps that rushed up the stairs. The basement door slammed shut. Slade waited a few moments before he slowly walked to the stairs as well. His footsteps were slow and heavy, taking him much longer to reach the upper floor. He turned the door handle and slowly opened the door.

“Slade, what’s going on?” asked Wintergreen, rounding on him and beginning to bombard him the second Slade stepped into the kitchen. “What was that explosion? Richard just passed through here looking far more depressed and frightened than I’ve ever seen him. Is he all right? What on earth is going on around here?”

Slade didn’t answer at first; settling into a chair and resting his elbow onto the table. He placed his face into his hand, rubbing his uncovered eye with his fingers. His fury was bubbling through his entire core. He had to remain calm. Speaking seemed impossible, but listening to Wintergreen’s constant interrogations wasn’t the better option.

“Dick… placed an explosive inside one of the robots and detonated it,” whispered Slade, trying not to explode himself.

“He did what?!”

“Please don’t make repeat myself,” murmured Slade, shaking his head once.

He wasn’t sure what to do. Why on earth would the boy do something so stupid? Hadn’t Slade made it very clear before not to use any explosives?

And it wasn’t even as if the boy had done it to escape or anything like last time. It seemed as if he had merely done it for the sake of doing it. Slade couldn’t figure out the boy’s motives. There was no reasoning to this. Dick had looked petrified with fear over it, but Slade could tell he had done it completely on purpose. When Slade had realized that, he nearly lost himself and struck the boy.

Slade was just thankful that he hadn’t.

Nonetheless, to say that Slade was thoroughly pissed off couldn’t even begin to tilt the edge of what he was feeling at that very moment. There were no words to describe the tumult of fury that was rising and burning through his entire being; like a terrible bubbling volcano of molten lava.

He couldn’t even bear to look at the boy right now. If he did, Slade feared he might do something he’d greatly regret later on.

“Slade, what happened between you two?” asked Wintergreen, pulling up a chair to sit at the table.

“I… almost struck him.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from Wintergreen.

“Oh, Slade…” murmured Wintergreen. “No wonder the child looked so terribly depressed. You need to go reassure him right away.”

“I can’t right now.”

“But—”

“If I go now I might hurt him worse than I want to!” shouted Slade into his hand, his entire body shaking with his fury. His tone dropped like a stone as he continued, “I can’t… I can’t see him right now. I’m too…”

There was a long moment of silence between the two of them. Then, there was the sound of a chair scraping before Slade felt a hand rest on his shoulder.

“Slade, I know you’re trying your very best with that child,” whispered Wintergreen. “But you have to think about Richard right now. Every moment he’s left to his thoughts unravels the progress the two of you have achieved these past few months. I’d hate to see that happen. You need to go now. I’m sure you can withhold your temper with him.”

The hand withdrew.

“After all, you managed to do so in the heat of the moment – thank goodness, too, because I wasn’t watching you two at that moment. I’m sure you can do it now in the cool down time.”

Slade took a deep breath, soaking in the old man’s words.

I did hold myself back.

Am I truly gaining more control over my temper? Had the boy done this months ago, he’d be in terrible shape right now, no doubt. Have I really been able to cultivate such growth in myself?

When had this change begun?

Slade slowly stood, taking deep breaths as he did so. Wintergreen was right; he had been able to hold back in the heat of the moment. Dick had truly been at his most defiant peak and Slade had been able to hold himself back. If he could do it at that climatic moment, then there was no reason why he couldn’t do it now.

“Do you want a little more advice?” asked Wintergreen. Slade found himself able to smile.

“When have you actually asked before giving it?” drawled Slade lightly, his smirk heavily tugging at his mouth. Wintergreen chuckled somewhat, before the light in his eyes darkened.

“This doesn’t seem like normal behavior in Richard. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Normal behavior? What was normal behavior in Dick? Slade thought of the previous few months, especially the more recent ones. Dick’s general behavior, when he was content and happy, was normally very cooperative. He was a cheerful kid and even mischievous at times. Sure, he had a smart mouth when his temper got away with him, but that was easily trained out of him – which was slowly becoming better, actually.

But to blatantly do something that he knew was dangerous; something that he knew was expressly against Slade’s rules; something that he had once already been brutally punished for – all this just didn’t seem to make any sense. The boy was intelligent after all and this wasn’t one of his intelligent moves.

Slade swiped a hand over his face. He wasn’t sure what to think any more. If Dick was female, Slade could’ve just explained it away to feminine illogic. There was no understanding females – ever. But Dick was male, therefore logic was a must. It was in his biological make up, for crying out loud! Doing something so stupid was illogical. Where did Dick come off being this illogical?!

“Slade, do you know what I think?” asked Wintergreen in a soft undertone. Slade merely looked at the old man with an expectant eye. “I think Richard is testing you.”

Slade reeled at that. He clasped the back of his chair to steady himself; slowly lowering to sit down. He hadn’t been expecting that – no, that was the last thing he had been thinking.

Testing him?

That… was somewhat logical. Stupid, foolish, idiotic, crazy, dangerous, infuriating, it was; but also quite logical – at least from the boy’s perspective.

“Richard must’ve still been unsure if you would break your promise with him,” continued Wintergreen in a gentle tone. “Sometimes children will test the boundaries to see what adults are made of. I’m sure you remember some of the things your other children did sometimes.”

Slade closed his eye for a moment.

Why, for the love of all that was holy, would that stupid boy push Slade to this extreme? What if Slade hadn’t kept his promise? Did the boy have a death wish? One thing was obvious, Slade had nearly lost his temper with the boy. He had almost struck him out of pure fury. Nothing would have brought him more satisfaction than to shake that boy and shout at him and demand to know why of all the things he could’ve done, why that?!

He could’ve gotten hurt! What would’ve I done if…

He could’ve…

…just like Grant; just like Rose; just like Joey.

But now there was something far different rising inside of Slade’s chest. He was feeling so disappointed. He couldn’t believe Dick would do this. He had thought that they had been doing so well. But how could Dick pull such a stunt? It was just so… Slade couldn’t explain the feelings that were bothering him. He just couldn’t understand this.

One thing was for sure, if Dick really was testing him, then Slade still had to do this right. The boy was expecting something; some sort of retribution. He probably was thinking the worst now since Slade had almost struck him. Slade was going to have to tread carefully through this if he wanted to maintain the boy’s trust. He couldn’t lose this now, not after all the distance they had come.

Slade wasn’t about to lose Dick.

Without another word to Wintergreen, Slade stood back up and turned away; beginning his walk down the hallway. He took each step slowly and carefully; thinking through everything that had happened with a detached air in his mind. He would not rage at the boy – it’d get them nowhere. It would not help neither Slade nor the boy.

As he stood outside the boy’s door, Slade placed his hands onto his hips and looked up at the ceiling. He could do this. He wasn’t going to shout or yell or scare Dick. That wasn’t going to bring trust – only fear. Slade no longer just wanted to have Dick’s total obedience, he also wanted Dick’s heart swayed towards his new position that Slade was preparing him for – his apprentice, his heir.

Slade clasped the door handle and slowly opened the door softly. Slade instantly saw that the boy was curled up on the bed in a defensive ball, his back pressed against the corner of the back wall. As Slade stepped into the room, shutting the door behind himself, Dick fearfully looked up. Slade could see a flash of emotions flood over his face. Then, Dick’s lips trembled slightly as he averted his eyes; almost seeming to push himself more against the wall, but obviously couldn’t go any further.

Slade walked over the desk chair, setting it so he was facing the boy, but not too close to give him some breathing room. Dick looked terribly frightened, but more so in complete anguish and depression. Dick lowered his face into his knees, his arms trembling against their hold around his legs.

“Dick,” began Slade in the softest tone he could manage, “I want you to explain yourself.”

There was no movement.

“You told me before that you did this on purpose. I need you to tell me why.”

This time there was some movement. Dick shook his head softly, yet no sound escaped from his small body. Slade was honestly trying not to become irritated with this, but he was. What was really irking him was the fact that Dick wouldn’t even do him the courtesy of looking up at him.

“Look at me,” breathed Slade darkly. “You will look at me through this.”

Dick slowly obeyed. He lifted his face from his knees. Light shone from the boy’s glittering eyes as he looked directly into Slade’s face. Dick’s jaw was locked in complete, pure fear. Slade knew right then he wasn’t going to get an answer to his request at that moment. Thus, he tried a different approach.

“Remind me; what’s the penalty for such blatant disobedience?” asked Slade.

The boy merely tightened his arms around his legs and settled his chin against his knees. Those bright blue eyes were glimmering, almost shattering with despair.

“Answer me,” said Slade, keeping his tone commanding without frightening the boy too much.

“I…”

Dick’s voice was uncharacteristically cracked and tiny. Slade could barely even hear the boy.

“Have you forgotten?” asked Slade. Those blue eyes blinked, while those lips trembled worriedly. “I see. It appears that you have.”

Slade motioned with a single finger.

“Come to me.”

There was a long moment as Dick’s eyes widened in fear. It took another moment as Dick slowly uncurled his arms from his legs; sliding forward to the edge of the bed. Soon, he stood and moved towards Slade; each movement filled with hopelessness and defeated depression. Slade clasped the boy’s arms and pulled him even closer so that his knees touched Dick’s legs.

“I want you to tell me why you did what you did earlier when you’re fully aware of the dangers and the consequences that follow such foolishness, stupidity, and recklessness,” said Slade in a soft voice. “I have no need to remind you of the fact that you could’ve been killed; that you could’ve been gravely injured beyond repair. So, explain to me: why?”

There was a quiet moment before there was a low murmur. The boy was positively petrified with fear. It was written throughout his face. His eyes were wide and glimmering with the burning of potential tears. His lips trembled uncontrollably. Slade could actually feel Dick trembling beneath his hands as he clutched the boy by the arms.

“A verbal answer, if you please,” said Slade, turning his tone more demanding. “My patience is wearing thin. I want an explanation and I want it now.”

There was an audible gulp from the boy as he swallowed. His lips trembled even more. His mouth opened slightly, but no sound escaped. It was obvious that the boy was too distraught to speak, so Slade waited silently for the boy to be able to talk. Finally, some words began to form.

“I… I don’t have one,” whispered Dick in a very low voice; Slade barely could make out what the boy said. Slade narrowed his eye and the boy hurried to continue in his whisper, “I was trying to be defiant.”

Slade inhaled through his nose in the effort to refrain from shaking the boy right then and there. Trying to be defiant? What on earth was this boy on? Surely that couldn’t be right. Dick was terribly frightened at that moment. There wasn’t a muscle that wasn’t trembling in his body – that much was apparent.

Had the boy truly been testing Slade to see if he would keep his word? Why on earth had the boy felt the need to test their tentative relationship? And Slade had almost failed that test. It irked Slade to no end that this boy could’ve driven him to such a position as to losing control over himself.

That was it: Slade wasn’t just angry about the exploding blasted robot – although he was furious over that—the boy, once again, could’ve injured himself – he was truly livid over the fact that he had almost failed the boy. Slade had almost destroyed everything that he had been trying to build over the past few months. He could’ve destroyed it all in one mere split second.

And even now, the boy was still testing him. Those defiant words that he was trying to stand by were more than enough proof. Usually Dick was quick to admit his fault and guilt. But through his defiance, his fear was all too prevalent.

Slade pulled the boy closer, so that he was staring into the boy’s eyes less than a foot away.

“I told you over three months ago what I’d do with blatant disobedience,” whispered Slade. “What did I tell you?”

Those lips were trembling again. Long black eyelashes slipped over crystal blue orbs before lifting again.

“What did I tell you?” repeated Slade in that same whisper, squeezing Dick’s arms once.

The boy swallowed again, but offered only silence as he stared directly into Slade’s eye. Slade held back a deep sigh that wanted to escape his entire being.

“Since you seem to have forgotten, I shall remind you,” said Slade, his voice swift. Those sparking eyes scrunched closed suddenly, almost expectantly waiting for a blow. Even after all the hints Slade had dropped, the boy still thought he was going to be beaten? Once again, Slade vaguely questioned the boy’s intelligence.

That’s it. This boy was going to be the death of him. The boy didn’t want to kill people, hm? Well, just how bad would he feel when he realized that he was responsible for Slade’s untimely death; a horrific death caused by all this emotional drama and crap that the boy was pulling on him – there was no doubt about that.

And speaking of doubt, it was time to clear the air of it.

Slade released the boy’s arms.

“Well, come on,” said Slade in a firm tone; deciding against manhandling the boy in the hope that he’d understand what was to come; to give him some reassurance – anything to clear that unbending despair in those striking eyes. “Bend over my knee.”

Those crystal orbs popped open, wide in surprise. Slade fought against the urge to smirk and drawl at the boy. Instead, he kept his face impassive as he waited for the boy to comply with his command. It took a full minute for the boy to register that he was required to position himself for his punishment. But he still didn’t make any movement, still looking slightly confused over the whole thing.

Unable to bite back a sigh, Slade swiftly, but gently guided the boy over his lap.

Dick sucked in his breath in his surprise. Slade was serious. Slade was keeping his promise – his word. Slade wasn’t ever going to beat him – ever again. He was never going to hurt Dick like that again. He had held back. He hadn’t struck him or beaten him. Even in the most grievous of sins, Slade was keeping his word. There was a flow of relief that washed over him.

Dick could trust Slade.

Well, sort of, anyway. Dick wasn’t sure if he was thinking clearly any more. He had to be an idiot to test Slade and now, once again, the man was walloping him like a little kid. And each strike was like never before. The man was using far more force than he had ever used against Dick since the change and he wasn’t letting up, either. The man stayed quiet; constant with every hard, biting slap – each building the stinging raw fire in his seat. Dick squeezed his eyes shut and accepted it, gripping a leg of the chair in each hand to steady himself. He had expected something, but it was still a shock to him that the man was fulfilling his word.

It was a comfort.

A painful one, but a comfort nonetheless.

The relief that Dick felt over the fact that he could trust the man’s word was overpowering. Moments ago, his entire soul had nearly died in the terrible, total despair and hopelessness that his situation would never get better. It had seemed as if all was lost. But now new hope began to rise inside. It really did seem like now Dick could depend on everything getting better from here on out.

It could only get better now.

Finally, after quite a few minutes, Dick attempted to rasp out his apology. He seriously needed the man to stop; Slade wasn’t letting up still. He wasn’t sure if he could bear through this stoically for any longer and the thought of breaking down into sobs over this man’s knees right now would be the ultimate blow.

“Slade…” The harsh hand raining on his seat stopped for a moment, waiting. “I’m sorry,” murmured Dick, his voice hoarse and almost to the point of choking out a sob. “I’m really sorry.”

There was a long moment of nothing, before the punishment continued. Dick’s breathing hitched as the burning in his eyes intensified to an alarming level. Was he still in trouble? Was the man that furious with him? Would he ever be forgiven for this? No matter how much he now fully trusted this man, it didn’t mean that Slade would be so inclined to return the same.

But then, after another minute, Dick was finally righted by those strong, powerful hands to stand before Slade.

It took every part of Dick’s self control not to break down and start crying right then and there. He kept his face down and hidden just in case he did break down. His eyes were burning terribly and his breathing heavy in deep heaves as he tried to hold back the tears. The emotions of his heart were running haywire, causing his control to be so more fragile, so more brittle than it normally was; not to mention his seat hurt far more than he ever could’ve imagined – even with Dick’s claim to a high pain tolerance. If he ever thought Slade had been hard before, this time cleared any thought – Slade had been holding back. His seat hadn’t ever hurt this much, he swore to that.

But still… It was far different than the last time he used an explosive with this man.

So far different.

There was no absolute terror here. There was no paralyzing fear that stilled his very heart and soul in its crushing weight. He could still remember that fear, that terror he had felt in Slade’s petrifying presence. The man’s fury and wrath last time had no comparison to any creature’s rage on the planet. Truly, Slade’s fury had been at its crowning peak in its purity at that moment and it was Dick’s total fear that had brought the regret. While Slade had berated his actions, it was overshadowed by the cruelty.

And he had hated that man.

But now it was so different. Slade had been furious with Dick, yes; but it had been reeled in. It had been controlled completely. Dick could readily read the disappointment from the man. Once Dick realized that Slade was keeping his word, his promise, there was no more fear. He no longer feared this man like he had once before. Even with the very painful walloping, he didn’t fear Slade. He deserved it, after all. He had very much earned this one.

No, Dick didn’t fear him any more; no indeed, there was now a great deal of honor, reverence, and respect for this man. Slade kept his word and it was through that very fact that opened the floodgates of those special and reserved feelings – feelings that were meant only for the most worthy of adults.

The past was now erased in Dick’s mind. He knew, at that very moment, the treatment he had received from the man that first terrible month was now forgiven. Slade was completely forgiven in Dick’s heart. Since he knew that the man would care enough to keep his word, the past no longer mattered – only the future. All that was left was a clean slate, a clean canvas. What would be painted there? What hopes, dreams, moments, mistakes, choices would stroke the canvas with their colors and lines to create the picture of the future?

Only time would tell.

Perhaps, one day, Dick would forgive Slade for taking him away.

Although, he might’ve already done so.

Slade stood up and placed a hand on the back of Dick’s neck. Dick was maneuvered away until he was at the corner of the wall nearest to the door. Slade moved his hand upwards to Dick’s head and pushed him into the corner.

“Stay there until I say otherwise.”

Oh, gosh.

Forget getting walloped. Being forced into the ‘corner’ for a ‘time out’ had to be the most childish punishment yet. Dick literally felt four inches tall and definitely felt like a naughty little four year old. This had to be the worst. But he accepted his punishment, knowing full well he deserved it for putting the man through all this. He leaned his forehead against the wall; resting his flushed face against the cold surface. Unbidden tears finally started to slip down his cheeks.

He felt terrible for testing Slade like this. The man looked so tired by the whole thing; almost burdened, even. But Dick had to – he had to know beyond a shadow of a doubt. But he hadn’t been prepared for the wave of emotions that came from the knowledge that he could trust Slade fully and completely. What he really wished was that Slade would leave him alone for awhile, so he could cry in peace.

It was so strange, feeling this way – feeling that he needed to be able to trust Slade. He had just come off what seemed like a terrible rollercoaster of emotions. At first, he truly thought Slade was going to revert back to beating him again. The thought of not being able to trust Slade had been so drowning in its hopelessness that Dick had wondered if he’d ever be able to recover again.

But when Slade kept his word, the hope flooded back through Dick’s soul. His need to be able to trust Slade was overwhelming and now with that knowledge, Dick just couldn’t take it any more – he needed to cry. The relief was so powerful that he needed the purging that crying offered him. But he seriously didn’t want to cry in front of Slade. He just needed to be alone for a few minutes.

“I know why you did this,” said Slade, his voice tired and soft. Dick’s eyes widened, more tears filling the edges. Did Slade know everything? “I’m extremely disappointed that you felt the need to test me.”

Those words stung far more than that slowly fading fire in his seat. The tears spilled over the edges and slipped down his cheeks. Dick was suddenly very thankful that Slade couldn’t see his face.

“Not that I can fault you for that,” murmured Slade. “It’s not like I gave you anything stable to trust with during that first month. Nonetheless, I’m still disappointed in you and…”

Slade trailed off; the unspoken words seeping into Dick’s soul.

‘…and in myself.’

“I almost didn’t pass your little test,” continued Slade in a soft undertone. “Which irritates me that you would push me to such an extreme. Don’t you ever do this again, do you understand me? A simple nod will do.”

Dick immediately complied with this; his head nodding and sliding against the cooled surface of the wall. The action brought relief to his flushed forehead.

“If you do, you know what will happen – not only that, I’ll double the length of this,” said Slade, his tone turning firmer as he spoke. “I don’t want you ever testing me like this again. Ever. No need to mention messing with my robots or explosives.”

“…yes, sir,” whispered Dick in a terribly quiet voice, almost making his words sound slurred together.

“And I’ll continue to make sure you never feel the need to do so, at any rate,” said Slade, now in his soft undertone again. “I’ll also make you another promise and maybe it’ll bring you even more security in this. I swear to never lie to your face. I may have to withhold information, but I’ll never lie to you. And in return, I’d like the same. Maybe then you won’t feel the need to do something like this again.”

Dick’s mouth opened slightly at this. Was Slade really promising never to lie to him? If Slade was promising that… and he was a man of his word… Then…

He would keep that promise no matter what.

Dick’s eyes began to burn even more as another wave of hot tears slipped down his cheeks. He nodded quickly, his forehead continuing to slide against the wall.

“I promise.”

Dick wanted to apologize again. He really wanted to tell the man how sorry he was for all this; anything to express his repentance. But at the same time, he’d do the same thing again – just so he could have this peace that was beginning to settle into his heart, mind, and soul. He needed to trust someone. It didn’t matter any more who Slade was; if Dick had to be forced to stay here for the rest of his life, he needed someone to trust and rely on.

And Slade was the only one around that he could depend on.

But somehow that inert variable seemed like an acceptable choice.

Dick swallowed deeply. His life was being completely turned around by this man. Sometimes he wished none of this had ever happened; that he had never been kidnapped; that he was still the leader of the Teen Titans. But as time moved forward, he was sometimes thankful for the experience. It was almost becoming to the point he desperately wished for both lives now and seriously wished that he didn’t have to choose either one or the other. Slade was becoming someone he could depend on for certain things; things he hadn’t had for so many years. Dick wasn’t sure what exactly that was, but he could feel it growing inside in his heart.

Why did they have to be a Hero and a Villain?

“You may leave that corner now,” said Slade after a few more quiet moments. Dick could feel the man’s presence behind him. Dick merely nodded, but he didn’t move. “You can join me in the kitchen for a bedtime snack, if you like.”

“I’ll… come shortly,” whispered Dick, his voice cracked and hoarse; hoping that the man would leave him alone for just a minute. He just needed a few minutes. There was a long pause before Slade spoke.

“As you wish.”

Then, Dick heard the door close shut.

With a deep sigh of relief, the strength left him. The complete exhaustion from all the stress he had placed upon himself came crashing down. Dick collapsed to his knees; curling up into a fetal position. He rubbed his forehead against the rough texture of the carpeted floor; his arms curled around his stomach.

There he began to cry openly, yet softly; his tears sliding down into his open, sobbing mouth – no longer able to hold back.

ooOOOOOoo

February 1st, 2009. Sunday, 8:51 pm.

Slade felt drained beyond anything he had ever experienced before in his entire life. He slowly walked into the kitchen, rubbing his tingling hand against his face. He knew he had been very hard on the boy this time; the hardest he’d ever been with him. Slade didn’t like it, but he had to make sure the boy knew never to do something like this again.

Why did the boy have to attract danger and trouble like a magnet?! What if that robot had gone even more haywire than it had? What if it had injured Dick? Slade couldn’t handle such thoughts. He’d never be able to forgive himself if something happened to Dick. It’d only prove that he truly couldn’t deal with children – and that he had no business doing so. Dick was the only one perfect enough to be his heir. Losing that meant losing everything.

But it was more than that; he couldn’t bear another child’s death on his hands – especially when that child was Dick.

Slade walked to the table and slipped into a chair, staring at the tablecloth as he continued to reflect on everything; his thoughts swirling and spinning so bad it was almost making him sick to his stomach.

“Well?” asked Wintergreen tentatively. “How’d… it go?”

“He wouldn’t even look at me,” said Slade, leaning his elbow onto the table and resting his face into his hand. “He must think I was unfair.”

“Unfair? Why, were you hard on him?” asked Wintergreen, taking a seat at the table as well.

“I wasn’t easy on him,” admitted Slade, a dry lilt in his voice. “He undoubtedly felt my hand, that’s for sure. I was definitely harder this time than I’ve ever been. But I had to be; especially after he used another explosive. Of all the things to test me with, why did it have to be something so dangerous?”

He could’ve been killed. The dead don’t come back. I could’ve…

“Well, the last time he did something like this, you beat him harshly,” said Wintergreen. “I doubt whatever you did was anything near that.”

“It certainly wasn’t,” agreed Slade. “But he still wouldn’t look at me, even after I told him that he could come out of the corner.”

“You put him in the corner?” asked Wintergreen, sounding completely taken aback.

“I did.”

“Well, then…” Approval filled the aged tone. “Well done.”

Slade blinked and then lifted his hand away to look at Wintergreen. “Well done?”

“Yes, well done, Slade. I think that made everything more… familiar.”

“Familiar?”

“Good grief, is there an echo in this kitchen?”

“Will—”

“Slade, listen to me,” started Wintergreen, leaning his arms onto the table; a serious light entering those hazel green eyes. “I know you’re trying to make that child your apprentice. But that’s the thing; he’s a child. He still needs reassuring after such a sharp chastisement. You’re not just training him to be your apprentice, you’re also raising him into an adult. He’s young and vulnerable. He needs consistency, and anything that will reassure him that you are the adult in charge over him and that he is the child. He needs nurturing, but has been greatly deprived of such a thing ever since he was a little boy. You’ve taken it upon yourself to have him as your apprentice, but you must also fill his emotional needs as well.”

“Oh, please,” drawled Slade, yet without much sarcasm in his tone. “Please tell me you aren’t saying that I should’ve cuddled him afterwards.”

“No, of course not. I know that’s not your style most of the time. But I am asking if you told him that he’s forgiven now. Did you?”

There was a long moment of silence. Slade turned his head away and let out a deep sigh before he answered.

“I did not.”

“Oh, Slade…”

“I get it; I get it,” snapped Slade sharply.

There had been just a little too much going on to remember that small detail.

He sighed and stood up. Leaving the old man at the table, Slade walked down the hallway to the boy’s bedroom door. He listened for a moment, but it was silent. He slowly turned the handle and opened the door.

The bed was empty and he glanced at the bathroom to see that the light was off. But where was the boy? Slade stepped into the room and closed the door behind himself. Slade turned his head and saw Dick curled up on the floor in the corner on his side, almost in a fetal position.

There was a flash of panic and worry that slipped over Slade as he quickly knelt down beside the boy. For a brief second, he wondered if he had been too hard on Dick – but surely not; he’d taken far worse before. However, as he took a closer look, he noticed that the boy was in a fitful sleep. His face was flushed with his tears; his face tear stained with fresh trails. There was a constant stream of murmurs.

“…I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

Slade frowned. He brushed a hand over the boy’s brow; his skin flushed to the touch and even slightly damp. Slade moved his hand to tap lightly against Dick’s tear soaked cheek.

“Dick,” called Slade in a soft voice. “Dick, wake up.”

A pair of glittering, crystal blue eyes peeked through as the boy’s eyelids slid slowly open. They were hazed over slightly, but soon they began to focus. They were filled with endless light – light that told of past pain and heartache, yet burned with fire and desire to press forward.

“…I’m sorry,” murmured Dick in an incredibly soft voice as he saw Slade. “Please, forgive me… Don’t be mad… I’m so sorry…”

Slade sighed and slipped a hand gently beneath Dick’s underarm. He slowly pulled the boy to his feet. Dick quickly swiped a spare hand over his face, as if in the attempt to cover up the fact that he had been crying. Slade directed Dick to his bed and helped him get underneath the covers with Dick lying on his side. Tired, glimmering eyes looked up at him with anxious expectance as Slade brought the covers over his shoulders. With a sigh, Slade pulled the desk chair towards the bed and sat down in it, before placing a hand onto Dick’s shoulder.

“You are forgiven, Dick,” said Slade in a gentle tone. There was a light smile that spread through Dick’s face as his eyes began to slide close; relief flowing over the boy’s countenance.

“Also… I’m not angry with you any more.”

The moment Slade said those words he found that it was completely true. He wasn’t angry at the boy any more. That simmering, festering rage that had been boiling deep inside was completely washed away in one fell swoop. It unsettled Slade that his anger could so easily slip away like that. He was one to be angry, even hold grudges, for longer spans of time; held and buried deep within. But somehow seeing the repentant, almost pleading, gaze that came from those powerful, unending crystal eyes was enough to completely disintegrate any anger in Slade’s heart.

Something softened.

Slade began to pat Dick’s shoulder lightly in a continuous rhythmic motion. He had done this before with his own children when they couldn’t fall asleep. And once again, it was working. The boy gave him another soft smile before it slipped away as he faded into sleep. Slade watched the boy for a few minutes as he slept. He really did look so young and vulnerable; appearing nothing like the fierce and competent warrior that he was. After a few more minutes, Slade carefully withdrew his hand and quietly stood up to leave the boy to rest.

Slade didn’t go back to the kitchen. He walked to his bedroom, so he could have some moments of peace after all this and so that he could think. Once inside his room, he sat down in his computer chair and leaned back in it; sighing deeply as his body fell in fatigue.

It was becoming clearer and clearer to Slade that Dick was beginning to heavily depend on him for his emotional needs. Wintergreen did say that he needed such things. For a boy who was without emotional stability for the past few years, he was beginning to accept it from anyone who gave it to him.

Even one who was considered his enemy.

The boy was also getting more attached to Slade, which did please him. If the boy was attached to him, the more difficult it was for the boy to defy him; the more the child would want to obey.

But Slade hadn’t counted on one thing. Wintergreen mentioned something Slade hadn’t really thought of before – the fact that he wasn’t just trying to raise and train an apprentice, he also had to raise the boy into a man. Slade had full power over who and what Dick would become. It was a completely different burden than the one of ‘master’ or ‘mentor’.

What it was, Slade wasn’t exactly sure what to call it.

ooOOOOOoo

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