Forgotten Bonds – Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven
A Change in Discipline

October 12th, 2008. Sunday, 7:45 pm.

The wait was terrible. Dick was sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands clasped nervously in his lap; his iPod nearly crushed in between them. He couldn’t hold his legs still as he waited.

And waited.

Why couldn’t Slade just hurry it up? Just beat the crap out of him and be done with it already. This was a whole new level of torture – the waiting, the uncertainty, the silence.

Dick was going insane.

Why can’t he just hurry up? Why did Wintergreen stop him? What was so important that it couldn’t wait until after Slade battered me around?

Dick fidgeted on the edge of his bed, his hands wringing and pulling the skin.

Hopelessness began to settle in the pit of Dick’s stomach. It washed over him in a terribly powerful wave. He clenched his teeth and swallowed hard; trying to hold back his emotions. He couldn’t cry. He wouldn’t cry. Not until after Slade was done with him. He refused to cry in front of Slade any more. He was tired of crying – tired showing his weakness before his most hated enemy. He had cried in front of Slade twice now. No more. No matter how much pain the man inflicted on him; he would remain strong.

Before all this nonsense with Slade, Dick hadn’t cried in two years. Not since he fought with Bruce and then ran away to go out on his own – prove that he was strong enough for the job of a vigilante. But, after he had arrived in Jump City, after one week had passed, he cried.

Cried for the fact that Bruce wasn’t going to come after him.

No, his pride had been too strong for that – just like Dick’s. So, Dick accepted it, swallowed his tears, and moved on. There was nothing else he could do. He abandoned his dual identity and fully assumed the role of Robin.

He never cried again after that.

But ever since Slade unmasked him, Dick found his emotions far more uncontrollable. Was it because Dick was far more vulnerable than the strong, powerful Robin? It was as if all the tears he had collected during the two dry years wanted to spring forth and flood everything.

He was beginning to drown in his emotions.

While the capture itself was horrible and the beatings painful, what was unbearable was the solitude. Dick was lonely – painfully, utterly lonely. The silence was terrible – although it had gotten better ever since Slade let him have his iPod. But the human silence was weird to him. He had grown so used to Titans Tower. Cyborg and Beast Boy fighting over the TV remote, Raven demanding that they shut up, or Starfire humming happily while cooking her awful alien foods in the kitchen.

There was something always going on; never a quiet or dull moment in the Tower.

But the solitude and silence in Slade’s haunt were making Dick lonely beyond anything he could have ever imagined. He missed Cyborg and Beast Boy’s fighting. He missed Raven’s monotone, sarcastic talking. He missed Starfire’s kind and uplifting, yet backwards English.

Dick lifted his iPod up and turned it on; swiping his passcode in with his fingers. He quickly brought up his favorite photo of the group of them. Dick was in the middle as Robin with Cyborg on the right; his hand ruffling his hair. Beast Boy was sprawled at their feet on his side with a cocky smirk on his face, holding up two fingers in a peace sign. Starfire was squeezed on the other side of Robin, looking extremely happy while Raven was next to her looking bored out of her wits, although Dick could see a slight lift of her lips in the attempt to smile.

Dick swallowed and set the iPod aside onto the end table; his lips trembling. He placed his hands back into his lap. Just looking at a single picture of his past life was enough to drown him.

Gosh, he missed them.

A tear slipped down his face.

No. No. No.

Dick swiped the traitorous tear away.

Not yet. Not yet.

He heard the familiar footsteps of Slade. He kept his head down and away from the door. He couldn’t bear to look up into the man’s face. He didn’t want to see the furious anger that would undoubtedly be in his grey blue eye – the only human feature within that inhuman mask.

Besides, his eyes were probably red due to his effort to restrain his tears and he didn’t want to show any more weakness to his captor. No matter how scared he was, he wouldn’t let this man win. He let the rage and hatred he felt towards Slade slowly consume him. He would not cry in front of that monster. He would show no weakness – but strength and defiance.

Show no weakness.

ooOOOOOoo

October 12th, 2008. Sunday, 7:47 pm.

Slade stopped outside Dick’s door; taking a deep, cleansing breath. He had to remain calm during this – this was the first step into new territory. He just had to do it right.

Good grief, this felt strangely like old times.

Slade entered the room. The boy was sitting on the edge of his bed, completely tense. His head was turned away from the door; his face tilted towards the floor. Slade noticed that the boy was shaking slightly. Wintergreen was absolutely right.

Dick was terrified.

Slade didn’t say anything as he walked over to the desk in the room. He grabbed the chair and placed it directly in front of Dick; sitting down into it. Their knees touched and Dick stiffened even more.

“Dick, look at me,” said Slade; keeping his voice soft, yet commanding. The boy bit his lower lip in his teeth and still didn’t move.

“Now, Dick.”

The boy flinched slightly at the tone and slowly began to lift his face. His eyes widened visibly as he looked into Slade’s maskless face. Slade watched as the boy’s eyes darted back and forth, taking in every contour of his face. The boy’s mouth was dropping somewhat, giving Slade the strong impression of a trout. He looked completely shocked that Slade had taken off his mask and then, the confusion set in within his features.

He’s probably wondering the cause of this new turn of events. Should prove interesting…

“Dick, this isn’t working.” More confusion entered Dick’s brilliant blue eyes; his eyebrows furrowing as if to consider Slade’s words. “So, we’re going to do something different. You and I, we’re going to make a deal with each other.”

“What… what kind of deal?” asked Dick cautiously; his voice heavy with suspicion.

“I promise never to beat you again.” Shock slammed into Dick’s face at this. “In return, you promise to be obedient and respectful to me at all times.”

Dick’s eyes narrowed, the suspicion growing evermore. He glanced away, his chest lifting as he took a deep breath. He looked back at Slade, new defiance entering his features.

“What if… what if I don’t?” asked Dick, his jaw locked and his chin slightly jutted outward. “Isn’t that the deal now?”

The boy looked so rigid. Distrust and loathing were beginning to fill his eyes as Slade watched the boy wait for his answer.

“If you are disobedient or disrespectful,” continued Slade, “I have a new plan of discipline that I’m going to try with you. If you are obedient and respectful, you can expect praise and rewards. If you are disobedient or disrespectful, you can expect punishment.”

“Wha—what’s the punishment?”

Trying extremely hard not to smirk, Slade leaned a little closer towards Dick. He was looking forward to see what the boy’s reaction would be with this. Just because Slade wasn’t sure this would work, didn’t mean he wasn’t going to enjoy the reaction to the news.

“I will pull you over my knee and spank you.”

Slade pulled back slightly, watching the boy carefully. There was a long moment as the words began to settle inside the boy’s mind. Then, Dick’s mouth opened slightly as an incredulous look flooded through his face.

“Huuuh?!”

“You heard me, young man,” said Slade, unable to contain the small lift in his mouth. “In the event of your disobedience or disrespectfulness, you will be spanked.”

“Yo—you can’t…” started Dick slowly, shock mixing with the incredulity. The full realization of the implications of this seemed to hit the boy in full force. He jumped to his feet; staring down at Slade in shock and anger. “I’m fourteen, for crying out loud! How many times do I have to tell you?! I’m not a freakin` little child, Slade!” he cried, indignation fully apparent in his tone.

“Would you rather a broken arm or a broken rib?” countered Slade with a raised eyebrow and a smirk tugging at his lips. Dick’s eyes widened slightly before he averted them, biting his lower lip; then, he flopped back down onto the edge of the bed with slumped shoulders.

“Will voiced the fact that he was tired of mopping the floor with your blood,” said Slade conversationally. “He was also concerned with your health.”

“Wintergreen suggested this?!” cried Dick.

“That’s Mr. Wintergreen and yes, he did indeed; and I value his advice.”

“He would…” muttered Dick, his lips curling with bitterness. Slade was continually having difficulty resisting the urge to smirk.

“You should be thankful to him,” added Slade as afterthought. “He just saved you from quite a few bruises, I think.”

“You’re acting as if you’re actually considering this,” cried Dick in total disbelief; his eyes wide.

“I’m not just considering it. I will be doing it,” said Slade. The boy started shaking his head wildly. There was a half crazed laugh that broke through the boy’s lips before he spoke up, rather feverishly.

“You can’t do this to me!” cried Dick, leaping to his feet again. “You—you’re driving me insane! You can’t–can’t sp—sp—wallop me! This is ridiculous!”

“Dick, calm down.”

“You calm down, you vile, vicious, evil—!” snapped Dick, his voice cracking and dying off at the end as he took a gasping breath. His chest heaved sporadically as he spoke, cutting him off as his words flew. “What th—the heck do you want from me? This—this is too much. You’re—I can’t—This is—” Dick collapsed back onto the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. He shook his head slowly, staring at the floor with wide eyes.

Slade placed his hands on Dick’s shoulders. The boy flinched violently; pulling back as he glared at Slade with pure loathing. He stood up, struggling uselessly against Slade’s hold on him.

“Don’t touch me! Let me go! Stop it—stop it – I hate you! Let go—get your hands off me!” cried Dick hysterically. Slade stood as well and tightened his grip on the boy’s shoulders. Not to the point of hurting him, but just enough to maintain his grasp on the thrashing boy.

“Dick, you must calm down,” said Slade in an even tone.

“Stop it! Please!” cried Dick in a terribly pleading tone. Slade couldn’t understand why the boy was getting into hysterics again. Was the boy truly that stressed over the whole situation? “This is all just a trick of yours. You’re just tricking me again. You want me to like you – that’s why you’re saying you’ll change. But you won’t really. You’ll end up hurting me again. You’re just tricking me like you did before.”

“Before?”

“The box… The box! The one with my stuff. You only gave that stuff back to trick me into liking you and then, you… And then, you…”

“Did it work?”

There was a flash of surprise that passed over Dick’s eyes, before they narrowed; sending Slade a terrible icy look of pure loathing. Dick ripped out of Slade’s grasp as he snarled before speaking.

“I hate you,” growled Dick in a low voice. “I don’t trust you. You might say you won’t beat me, but that’s just a bunch of hot air.”

So, it had worked. Interesting. Slade had been surprised that the boy had come to thank him for his belongings that day. He had been doing quite good after that until he pulled that foolish explosion stunt. One simple act of kindness had lasted that long? Perhaps Wintergreen was right… A little softness did go a long way with the boy.

“If I am nothing more, I am a man of my word.”

Dick scoffed elaborately. “You’ve done nothing to prove that to me. You are a liar. There’s no way I can trust your words.”

“Then,” started Slade decisively, “that trust will have to be built in time. After all, trust is easy to destroy, but takes time to build. I destroyed your trust. Now, I will do all I can to rebuild it.”

Dick’s eyes widened in surprise, staring at Slade as if he had never seen the man before in his life. Then, his eyes narrowed again suspiciously.

“Yeah, right. As if I can believe all that. Words again, Slade. More freaking empty words!”

“I promise you,” said Slade. “That much I can offer you. I swear not to beat you any more. The only bruises you’ll ever attain will be through sparring. That much you can accept, yes?”

“I refuse to accept anything from you any more. I hate you,” said Dick, loathing dripping in his tone. “Leave me alone. I don’t care any more. Let me go and I’ll ignore you. I won’t bother you ever again. The Teen Titans won’t bother you. Do whatever the heck you want. Please… Just leave me alone already. I want to go home. You’ve totally screwed over my mind. I’m done trying to accept this. I’m done with you!”

Dick flopped back onto the edge of the bed; leaning forward onto his knees with his head in his hands. Slade slowly sat down as well, watching the boy carefully.

“Listen, Dick,” started Slade, trying to keep his tiredness out of his voice. “We are going to restart everything. We are going to start anew.”

“And this is how you do it?” snarled Dick, looking up from his hands. “You beat the crap out of me and say ‘Whoops, my bad. Let’s start over.’? Are you insane!? Did you escape from a mental institution?!”

“We are going to start over,” said Slade through grounded teeth, trying very hard not to lose his temper. “You don’t have a choice in this matter.”

“Wow, gee. Never knew I did,” drawled Dick viciously. “You know what, I’ll repeat myself. Sound good? Drop dead, Slade.”

Fierce anger rose inside Slade’s chest. He closed his eye and lifted a hand to firmly rub against the lower part of his face. He wasn’t going to lose it. He couldn’t lose it. He promised the boy. He had to hold his temper. But the boy surely wasn’t making it easy, now was he?

Slade took another deep breath, feeling his anger rise even higher. Time to test out Wintergreen’s advice. “One,” he started, counting out loud in the effort to reel back the fury. “Two. Three. Fo—”

“What the heck are you—”

“Shut up!” snapped Slade, raising his finger in the air as he shot a fierce glare at the boy. Dick’s eyes widened as he clamped his mouth shut, watching Slade warily. With another deep breath, Slade continued.

“Four. Five.” Slade rubbed his face again. “Six. Seven. Eight.” He took a deep breath and let it out with a long sigh. “Nine. Ten.” Well, who knew: worked out pretty good. With one last deep breath, Slade squared his shoulders and sent a hard glare at the boy.

“You will speak with respect at all times. You are in enough trouble as it is. I suggest you contain yourself if you know what’s good for you,” said Slade.

Dick bristled visibly. “Or what? You’ll beat me again?”

“No, but you’ll find yourself in the embarrassing position of being dragged over my knees more than once,” said Slade, his grey blue eye glinting roguishly.

The boy clamped his mouth shut and turned his head aside, his teeth grinding visibly as it was apparent that he was holding back a deep growl.

“Now, I will make the situation very clear,” said Slade, feeling it was time to get the whole thing over and done with. “First, I will never beat you again. Whether you trust those words now, it does not matter. With time you will. Second, anytime you’re rude, belligerent, or disrespectful you’ll find that you’ve earn yourself a hard swat. Anytime you are completely disobedient or go off the deep end – like tonight, I might add – you will be thoroughly spanked. Do I make myself clear?”

Dick’s chest lifted as he stared down at his hands; his eyes wide in shock and apprehension. His breathing was deeply erratic.

Dick wasn’t sure what to think. Was this for real? This had to be a dream – a nightmare. What was the man playing at? Since when was Slade trying to change and hold back his temper? Never beat him again? What a joke. Not to mention, Dick sure as heck didn’t want to be touching this man in any way, let alone… Dick couldn’t suppress the shudder that went through his body.

No, no, no, no, no!

Being pulled over the knee was a reserved right of a parent and Slade definitely wasn’t his parent, let alone his father. Not even Bruce had claimed that right; only grounding him from going on patrol with him when Dick misbehaved. Only John Grayson had ever had that right.

Slade didn’t have that right.

“You don’t have that right…” murmured Dick, his thoughts rising to the surface through his mouth.

Slade raised an eyebrow, confused by the boy’s comment.

‘You don’t have that right.’

Was the boy talking about as a father? Well, that would make sense. The boy certainly hated him and the discipline Slade was planning with him did change everything. Slade was about to change from being the ‘master’ to ‘mentor’, if he put it lightly. If done properly, he could form an ever further bond – the bond of a parent. Yes, what if Slade were able to form that bond? It certainly would make things easier, but it was also extremely dangerous.

The true question was, did he want to create such a bond?

Well, there was no going back now. He had promised the boy and Slade was a man that always kept his word. It was time for a change; one, perhaps, for the better. No sense in not trying it out, anyway. There was nothing to lose now.

“Whether or not I have the right is besides the point,” said Slade dismissively. He grasped Dick’s wrists firmly with both of his hands and pulled the boy to his feet. “You need to learn some respect whether you like it or not. Your behavior has been atrocious since the moment you woke up and I won’t stand for it any more.”

And with that, Dick found himself pulled over the man’s lap. He didn’t even have time to process what was happening. He couldn’t believe Slade was serious about this. His eyes were wide in shock as he felt a strong arm steady him around his waist. There was no escape as a rain of hard, precise slaps began to connect with his seat. Dick sucked in his breath at the sharp, stinging pain and did all he could to endure; grabbing the legs of the chair to steady himself.

How humiliating.

He was being spanked like a naughty little child – and by Slade, of all people! He was never going to live this down. When—if he ever managed to escape from this place, there was no way he was going to mention this to his friends. What the heck could he even say?

“Oh yeah, Slade was horrible. Beat the crap out of me during the first month. But then, he totally did a one eighty and started spanking me instead.”

Well, that was one for the record books.

No way he was ever going to mention this. Ever. As the saying went, wild horses couldn’t drag it out of him. He could just imagine the looks on Cyborg and Beast Boy’s faces. They’d laugh themselves silly! Oh, and he didn’t even want to think about what the girls would say. Dick wondered lightly if Starfire even understood what it meant – not that he was about to bring up the topic to find out.

No amount of struggling would get him out of the man’s strong hold and free from his ultimately most humiliating moment in his entire life. Not even his mother had embarrassed him this bad – and she had been pretty good at it; especially in public. So, all Dick could do was endure the moment, which was painfully turning into minutes it seemed. It was seriously beginning to feel never-ending. Was Slade ever going to stop? His seat felt like receiving end of a blowtorch. While Dick had a high pain tolerance, he could feel his eyes burning. Holding back the flow was getting harder and harder now.

There was no way that he’d outright admit that he had been completely foul to Slade and Wintergreen tonight. But after what Slade had done to him, the man had deserved it. No one deserved to be treated the way Slade had treated him. However, Dick realized he had to understand where Slade was coming from. Slade thought he was the all omnipotent adult here, and therefore, thought he had to keep Dick in line. Dick had to play the man’s game if he ever wanted to make it to his next birthday.

Well, it couldn’t hurt to apologize.

“Slade,” gasped Dick, a little surprised by his hoarse voice. The hand stopped suddenly and this encouraged Dick to finish, “I’m sorry.”

Dick couldn’t stop the heavy breathing and gasping as he continued to try to stay in control over himself. Speaking made it harder to contain his emotions. He braced himself for the punishment to continue, but was pleasantly surprised when he was righted to stand in front of Slade once again. His chest heaved up and down with his breathing. He would not cry. He would not cry. It didn’t hurt that much.

Oh, who was he kidding – it hurt like fire. Seriously, was the man’s hand made of iron?

Slade observed the boy in silence, his hands firmly clasped over the middle of his upper arms. The boy’s eyes were glistening – not quite crying, but certainly not dry. But what interested Slade the most was the look of humility that was apparent in Dick’s eyes. His mouth had the appearance of verging on a small pout, yet there was still fire and spirit.

Perfect molding materials.

“I expect you to do better from now on,” said Slade in a soft tone, hoping that the boy would be receptive to it.

He was.

Dick gave a small meek nod; his eyes still wide with shock over the whole thing. Then, within the boy’s eyes, there was a sudden flash of… longing? Was that it? It disappeared so quickly he couldn’t be sure. Slade was momentarily perplexed at that. What was the boy waiting for? The punishment was over now. He expected the boy to want to pull away in a sulk and turn his back to him.

A memory of older times drifted through his mind.

Ah…

“For your behavior tonight, you are forgiven now,” said Slade, testing the memory of old. A look of surprise mixed with a flash of relief swept over the boy’s face. Then, it was immediately replaced with light confusion and a hint of suspicion.

Interesting.

“Go to bed early tonight. I’ll have Will bring you some dinner. Get rested up. Tomorrow is a new day,” said Slade, standing up. He hesitated before allowing himself to squeeze the boy’s arm gently; lightly patting it afterward, before turning away and shutting the door as he exited the room.

He left a very pensive young teen behind himself.

Dick plopped onto the edge of his bed in a total stupor, hissing slightly as he landed on his extremely sore seat. He was officially confused. Yup. Totally and completely confused.

Was this on the level?

Was Slade seriously going to change now? And what was that ‘you’re forgiven’ crap? Was he going to be all – what the heck was this? – ‘fatherly’ like this from now on? Good grief, Dick wasn’t sure if he could handle that. It was far easier to hate and fight against an enemy that was harsh and unpredictable.

But if Slade was going to be – what was the word…? – almost decent, then it was going to make it far harder to defy him. It was easier to say that Slade was a monster – a criminal that just wanted to dominate and control Dick.

But if Slade became normal…

What the heck was Dick going to do? Why now? Of all the times to change, why couldn’t he have changed before beating him unconscious? There was just no way Slade had changed. Just no way. After all, a tiger can’t change its stripes any more than a leopard can change its spots.

And another thing: Slade had actually removed his mask! That was another shock with the whole thing. He hadn’t much time to consider it, though; due to the direction the conversation went.

But Dick was very surprised by the man’s appearance.

Slade had a full head of pure white hair and a goatee surrounding his mouth. Even his eyebrows were the same pure white color. He also had a black eye patch over his right eye. But the man’s age looked so much younger than Dick would’ve assumed with the white hair. He figured the man was in his mid thirties – his face held such a youthful appearance, yet was completely masculine adult. But why had Slade removed his mask, now of all times? What was the man’s motive?

Well, there was one thing Dick noticed.

He felt surprisingly calm all of the sudden. He flopped onto his side and curled his legs into his chest; slipping underneath the warm covers. He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the incessant stinging he was experiencing – but it was already slowly fading to a dull throb. It was certainly a different type of pain than what he usually experienced when it came to the previous beatings Slade had resorted to. Somehow he was a little thankful the man hadn’t beaten him again – not that he approved of the alternative.

Nonetheless, Dick refused to trust the man. There was no way the man would keep his word. This was just another thing Slade was doing to control him – now with a humiliating, juvenile technique to prove his point that Dick was a little child.

Never beat him again? Yeah, right – Dick wouldn’t even give the man a week before he took out his fury on him again.

Although… Slade had held back his temper. In a weird way, too. Counting to ten? Dick doubted that would last for long. There was just no way he could depend on normalcy from a criminal, sadistic psychopath.

It wasn’t like Slade would—could change…

However, no matter his racing thoughts, the hatred and anger had faded from his heart. It was still there somewhat, but only in a light simmer.

What could’ve caused that?

ooOOOOOoo

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